Year 16, Day 11 | Teen Ink

Year 16, Day 11

June 28, 2015
By gerardway DIAMOND, Brooklyn, New York
gerardway DIAMOND, Brooklyn, New York
67 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
But you and Leslie like to hold hands and jump off of cliffs together into the great unknown. You two have a good relationship. I don&rsquo;t personally know what that&rsquo;s like, but I am given to understand it means you&rsquo;re gonna land on your feet.<br /> <br /> - R.S.


     Two feet of snow had accumulated by the time you decided to come home. Bundled up in a fraying white scarf that was miles too long and the blue jacket you had gotten for your fourteenth birthday, you came sloshing in through the front door. Powdery snow was tumbling out of the folds of the winter cap that was askew on your pretty little golden head. Your hair gleamed from the oil that had collected from going two weeks without a proper shower. You stomped twice on the welcome mat to rid your shoes of the snow that hung stubbornly on, but instead sent chunks sliding across the hardwood floor. I knew the cold didn't faze you one bit.
     You hung your jacket on the hanger that had been missing the touch of your fabric for ten days. You were wearing only a flimsy grey cardigan underneath and one of your favorite shirts - a black tee with a math joke on it. You loved math. I dusted the trophies you won at the Math Decathlon every day you were gone.
     You walked straight past me on your way to the stairs. Your eyes looked icy and dead. I think you wanted me to put down my novel and run over to you screaming about how much we had missed you and don't you ever run off like that and give me and your father a heart attack like that ever again.
     Every step you took up the stairs seemed hundred of decibels too loud.



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This article has 2 comments.


on Jul. 4 2015 at 10:42 am
ScreenName098 GOLD, New York City, New York
10 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Don&#039;t cry because it&#039;s over. Smile because it happened.&quot; -Dr. Seuss

I always love your unique and beautiful writing style and that lovely voice you have that always instantly hooks me in. This was intriguing from the very beginning and I loved all the descriptive details. In a short time, you developed a sort of backstory on the characters, which made me really interested on how the story would continue. I think this has lots of potential (which is true for pretty much all your pieces) and could work as a longer story. However, it is fine if you keep it like this. Amazing as always! I hope you keep writing over the summer!

on Jul. 2 2015 at 6:18 pm
RobotPenn. SILVER, El Paso, Texas
8 articles 1 photo 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Profound change is cumulative.&quot;

Beautifully written! I love this. Were you thinking of extending it to a full-on story or leaving it just as it is? It works as is. Short and sweet is something I've always struggled with when I write, so I applaud your success at it. But I'd love to have some context. Especially since the language you've used is lovely enough to support more. :)