Nothing was as worse as the feeling she had in her stomach that very moment. Her heart sank as she sat in despair and watched him pull away from her house. She kept repeating his last words to her before he pulled away, “I’ll love you forever.” She couldn’t get the feeling out of her head. His smell, her head under his chin, his arm wrapped protectively around her every time they watched a movie or went to sleep. It killed her that she would never feel it again, she would never feel that comfort again, the comfort that once made her smile, but now made her grow angry. “I’ll love you forever”, she said out loud. The words tasted like vinegar in her mouth. She knew it had been a lie. If he loved her he couldn’t pack up his stuff and leave the way he did. He wouldn’t have been able to hold her in his arms for what he proclaimed was the last time. It should have made him weak at the knees because that’s exactly what it did to her. She felt every promise they made, and every kiss they shared fading away. The part that was killing her most was she knew there was not a thing she could do about it.
She was stunning. Or, at least that’s what people had told her since she was younger. They admired her long dirty blonde hair and captivating hazel eyes. She felt that she had a lot to offer the world. She was a hard worker. The only average thing about her was her name; Samantha, or as people called her, Sam. That was why she could not understand why he had left her. Abel had always told her that he loved how unique she was. In fact, he had just told her that he loved it the night before. She just couldn’t understand. That’s what she knew was killing her most. If there was one thing everyone should know about Sam, is that she could not stand to not know things. Not having answers to important questions. Which is exactly where her mind stood as her boyfriend of two years-Abel- had just left her alone in the driveway. He had left without reason, it was all so sudden. She sat in her driveway until the next morning when the sun rose that warm July morning. She didn’t care that it had been so humid or hot outside. Sam felt she wouldn’t care about anything if Abel wasn’t in her life anyways. The sun rise in front of her hazel eyes did make her feel a little better about everything that happened the previous night, though. Sam loved sunrises, sunsets, the sky, rain, clouds, anything of that nature. Though she was not interested in weather, she was fascinated by the sky. Quickly, the happy feeling the sunrise gave her faded because she was reminded of the nights she spent out in the driveway with Abel that quickly turned into mornings and always consisted of them watching the sunrise together. Every time they sat and watched it he would always say “you know that sunrise is gorgeous but it’s definitely nothing compared to you, baby girl.” She let those words bounce around in her brain and it killed her even more.
Sam believed there was different types of love, there was love for TV Shows, like her love for Catfish the TV show, or there was love for bands or artists like her love for One Direction or The Weeknd. There was love for pets, movies, friends, best friends, family, sports, foods. She believed anything could be loved, no matter how big or small the love was, or how human or inhuman the thing believed love was. But if there was one thing she did know, it was that no kind of love could top the love she had and always would have for Abel. Even though he had left her in that driveway on that summer night, she could still feel that love growing stronger with every minute that slowly passed. It wasn’t like any of that mattered though, and she knew it didn’t as it came to the realization more and more that he was gone. She began to feel angry, at him, at herself, at the world. She felt she had always been a fairly good person to everyone, and sure she had made mistakes but none big enough to lose what she felt was the love of her life. As the minutes turned into hours, around three in the afternoon she finally gathered herself and got out of the driveway. As she stood up, her cell phone fell out of her pocket and landed harshly on the concrete and she watched as the screen cracked. She left it sitting in the driveway because if she wasn’t going to be talking to Abel she felt there was no point in talking to anyone else either. When she opened the door to her apartment, which she once shared with Abel, she immediately regretted it. Everywhere she looked she saw him. Simple things made her feel like she was going to be sick just thinking about him; the TV remote, or the stupid door to their stupid bedroom, or now, her stupid bedroom.
Months and months went by and she still found herself sulking about him. She hadn’t talked to anyone besides her coworkers at work and that barely even counted as a conversation. She just came to the conclusion, she was depressed and it was not going to go away on its own. She decided that just for one night, she did not want to think about him anymore. She found herself at a bar downtown on that October Friday night. She told herself she would get drunk enough to leave her with anybody that would be desperate enough to take her. She began to feel the room spin as she downed the shots one by one. Sam wasn’t stupid, she knew that this wasn’t good for her but at least she wasn’t thinking about Abel. As she downed whatever shot she was on (she had lost count around 11) she felt someone’s eyes on her. Her eyes met the gaze of whoever’s eyes were resting on hers. Her vision was way too blurry to tell who it was. As she began to realize all of this was a mistake, the eyes that felt all too comforting walked over to her and said “let’s go home”. By home, she had assumed he meant his house and he seemed sober enough to drive in her opinion so she agreed hesitantly. She got in the car with the stranger, but spoke no words. Even though she should have been, Sam was not scared. Something felt so comforting about the man driving the car. Next thing she knew, she was in her very own driveway which was extremely confusing to her, but they were facing the sunrise. Sunrise already? Jeez, she thought. How long was I out drinking? She went to ask the man how long he had remembered her being there, but as she turned her head to the side, she realized the man in the driver’s seat was Abel, as he whispered over and over again, “I’ll love you forever. That sunrise sure is gorgeous, but it’s definitely nothing compared to you baby girl.”