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Nervous? I'm Not Nervous
I feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m shaking. I’m freezing, while other people are in short-sleeved shirts. There is only one thing that can make me feel this way. One idea that came from hell and plagues me like a disease. Public speaking, I am talking about public speaking. A lot of things make me anxious– homeless people, being yelled at, abandoned buildings– but nothing scares me like public speaking. Just the mere mention of it is enough to make my stomach drop, like at the peak of a roller coaster. And currently, I’m zoning out in class and focusing on the fact that I have to walk up to other people, and ask them questions. This is, essentially, what interviewing is. Interviewing is also public speaking. And while I am entirely petrified of the type of public speaking that requires you to speak in front of a room of people, interrogating people panics me, too. It makes me feel like I have to piss myself. Can you imagine bombarding random passersbys with one question after another, sometimes on personal topics, sometimes on controversial issues? I mean, it makes sense that I’m nervous. But at the same time, it doesn’t. Why am I so scared? They’re just people. If they don’t want to answer your questions, you thank them for their time and move on. If you don’t like their answers, you just use another person’s sentences in your quotes. It’s not a big deal. In fact, they’re probably more scared of me than I’m scared of them (okay, maybe not). So why am I so worried? You know what? I’m not. I feel fine.
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I felt myself calming down as I wrote this. I was able to interview people later that day without having a heart attack. And in the end, I got a 105 on the assignment.