As I walked alone through the cold fall night in the rain I thought about how long of a day it was at work. Typing numbers into that mindless computer. At this point in the day, my mind was numb and barely working. All I wanted to do was to go home and close my eyes.

When walking through downtown Portland I thought to myself  “it never feels dangerous ,  but actually, it gives me a weird sense of safety .” As I grew near to my apartment building , I  took a gaze at the Broadway bridge. I slid the key into the keyhole in the door. Something eerie told me to not to step inside, I can't explain it but it was a gut feeling . I dismissed this feeling and went onward instead. I went in slowly as not to wake up my wife. I closed the door as slowly as possible and locked it in the same way. 

I could hear rustling from my bedroom, fearing the worse I crept forward. Slowly I got closer and closer to my door only to hear an unfamiliar deeper voice. By then I had a sinking feeling go throughout my entire body.  I couldn't make out the conversation that was happening. I was already sure I knew what was occurring  but I need to be sure. I put my ear to the door although it didn't really help me make anything out.

The door swung open from the weight on it  prompting me to stumble a little. I just stood there for a second and they didn't even realize I was there until my wife looked my way. The shock on their faces was even more pronounced than it was on mine. I couldn't speak, I just stood there trying to process. I wanted to curl up and cry but also to punch a wall with all my force. I hastily turned around and walked out of the room, out into the cold night. Not even noticing the cold at first. I ran down the stairs of my apartment building until I reached the street. It was empty, dark and empty.

I needed to absorb what just happened. I walked deeper into the cold dark night, Trying to think out what I did wrong to cause this. “Did I not make enough time for her?” I mumbled to myself. My breath created a stream of steam in front of me. I debated whether or not if I should go back or just continue to wander through the night. I wasn't mad but just rather hurt.

I glanced at my watch which was being illuminated by the nearby  street light. Two hours had passed since I got off of work. “It's already 11:30?” I exclaimed to myself. I Did not want to go back to my apartment. I thought of places I could hold out for the night. The only place I could think of  was my brother's house that wasn't more than a 30-minute walk away. I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone. I had about a million missed calls and messages, I chose to ignore them. I started to ring my brother, Knowing he would pick up no matter what time of day it was. The phone rang in my ear drowning out the lonely sounds of a few engines in the distance. A deep “hello” of a voice. I explained what had happened.

I headed off into the night. “I'll figure this out in the morning”