“Do you think we should have prepared him more?”

My husband, Adam, spoke the minute we walked into the cluttered apartment. We had sat the entire drive home, a good ten minutes, in silence. Neither of us knew what to say. He took his favorite red sweater off of his pale skin, and the freckles on his arms appeared from all the times he’s worn a tank-top while outside. Sometimes he even wears one during the winter; I don’t understand him.

“He was probably just nervous. Everyone gets those first-day jitters. It’s highly contagious; must have caught it from you during your last audition and it just started to act up,” I smirked as he stared up at me. Literally, since I’m taller than him.

“Not helping! Your sass is not welcome at the moment, Mister!” He sighed and pulled out a chair in the kitchen. I leaned against the wall, trying to look “too cool for school”. My curly hair bounced as I slipped off the corner a little, which made me wheeze a quiet laugh to myself.

“Listen, it’ll all be fine. He’ll be scared the first couple days, and then get comfortable. Kids just aren’t used to new experiences yet. He’s only five, remember?” To add insult to injury, I held up five fingers with a shocked look across my face. He scrunched his nose with annoyance as he usually does, and he blushed when he noticed I was staring at him.

“I’m aware of our son’s age,” He said as he looked away from me to collect himself. If he hadn’t been wearing contacts, I imagine he would have pushed his glasses up his small nose after that comment. “I’m just a bit worried. What if it was our fault? Did we raise him right?” Adam started blabbing to himself, and I couldn’t help but laugh once more. He was just so cute when he didn’t know how to shut up.

“Of course we raised him well. I mean, sure, we’ve only been his parents for about a year now, but during that time I’m positive we brought him up correctly.” My long arms stretched across my torso as I folded them against each other, showing off the fact that I had been going to the gym more frequently and gaining muscle. I stood up normally now, since the wall was starting to hurt my back. I can’t give up comfort for style all the time!

“You’re so confident. It’s obnoxious at times like this.”

“I’m always confident at the wrong times, dear. If you don’t like it, you can hand back that ring. That thing was expensive, and if it was for nothing, I want my money back!”

Adam, while in distress, had to stifle a giggle in his shirt collar as he pulled it over his face and rolled his eyes. “I have to go practice, I skipped rehearsal today for this, so I should at least memorize a few lines before tomorrow,” And with that, he waved goodbye, grabbed his script from the counter where it was last left, and walked down the hall to our bedroom. I wouldn’t be allowed in there for a few hours.

When the day ended, around 4:00 p.m., we climbed into the car and drove to Arnold Xavier Elementary. The parking lot was full of cars, and it took us a good two minutes to find a spot as we weaved through the dozens of other cars attempting to escape the madness. We climbed out of the vehicle and walked up to the main entrance. Children and parents were running this way and that, all in a hurry to leave. One kid had lost his hat, and it blew into the parking area. His father ran into the street and ended up stopping a car before it rolled over his son’s clothing. I laughed at the sight, and Adam had to pull on my sleeve to get me away from the spectacle.

“Come ON! It was so funny!”

“Miles, please. You’re so embarrassing! I didn’t know I had two kids!”

He continued to scold me as we walked through the hallway and found Walter’s classroom. The room was full of toys and bright colors that hurt your eyes if you stared at them for too long. It reminded me of one time when I was little when I decided it’d be a good decision to color my mother’s white wall with highlighters. I wasn’t allowed to be near any kind of markers for a month. I was three, okay?

We spotted Mrs. Mackenson, the teacher, talking to another parent. Once she was finished with them, we walked up to introduced ourselves. We hadn’t seen her in the morning; apparently she was usually a few minutes late. Not the best teacher to be working with kindergarteners, huh?

“Oh, hello! You must be Walter’s father!” She smiled a toothy grin and shook my hand. “and are you his brother?” She pointed to Adam, and he quickly hid his right hand in his sweater pocket; he had put the coat back on before we left the house. He was always so nervous about people finding out, since his parents hadn’t reacted well. Though I hated pretending, I went along with it and let him answer, not in the mood for another lecture. It’s degrading as an adult.

“Yes. It’s nice to meet you, ma’am. How did today go? Was Walt polite?” Adam commenced his interrogation of the old woman as her face fell.

“Well, uh. He was good and all, but he’s very . . . what’s the word for it? Attached? Earlier he burst into tears from fear. When I asked him what was wrong, he said he wanted to go home and see his parents. Has he ever been away from you, sir?”

I rubbed the back of my neck as I thought for a moment about my answer, and the fact that I’d need a haircut soon. “Not really, no. He was adopted about ten months ago, and he’s been very clingy. He hates being alone,” I had to stop myself from mentioning, “You may have found out about that if you’d shown up on time!”

“You may want to talk to him about that. I’d hate to have the other children tease him for his outburst,” She then pointed over to Walter, who was sitting in a chair reading a picture book, and she waltzed across the room to converse with another family.

We went up to him and he immediately hugged my legs. He didn’t let go for a few seconds, and I almost thought that I’d fall over. He’s strong for a kid! His hair, unlike mine, was freshly groomed, and the light blonde mess was formed in a bowl-cut shape. It wasn’t the cut that we had asked for, but it looked better than how we had imagined the other, so we let it slide. His left sneaker was untied, signaling that we may need to go over how to make the “bunny loop” again.

“Hey there buddy! You ready to go home?” Walt nodded to answer my question as he freed me, took my hand, and rushed us out of the classroom. He ran so fast that he almost tripped on his shoelace, which led to an impromptu lesson.

“Wow, with that speed you could join the track team in a few years!” Adam tried to encourage him once he tied his laces correctly, but Walt didn’t look too happy. He hated sports, so that wasn’t the best thing to say.

I whispered “Good going” into his ear before he lightly smacked my shoulder and walked in front of the two of us, doing the classic “I don’t know them” walk. We caught up quickly, since I’m 6 ft while he’s only 5’5, and Walter was apparently “Speedy Gonzalez”.

When we got into the car, we immediately started to ask him about his first day, acting as if we didn’t know that he had been terrified a few hours ago.

“Sooooo, uh. How was school today?” Adam started the conversation with a classic dad question.

Walter’s voice was barely audible. We’d already learned that he’s a shy kid. Whenever we would go out and meet a new person, he froze up and wouldn’t say a word until we left. Even with people he’s known for a while, he’s still pretty quiet. “It was fine.”

“Very descriptive,” I joked. If I hadn’t been driving, I would have looked over to see Adam’s face, which wouldn’t have been the prettiest sight at the moment.

“Sorry, I’m just tired,” Walt apologized.

“Listen, buddy, we’re here for you. If you want to talk, just say so,” Adam really sounded like a parent at this point. And he thought he couldn’t raise a kid!

“I know.”

“Was someone mean to you today?”

“No.”

“Was class fun?”

“No.”

“Are you happy to be going home?”

“Yes.”

And with that, we once again had nothing left to say, so I turned up the radio and let it blast for the rest of the drive.

--------------------

The next day I decided that I should help the little guy out. I thought that if I could aid him in making friends, then he wouldn’t be so scared of school. I brought him to class early and put my plan into action.

I stood in front of the classroom door with my son and watched the other children run around before school started. I had on my work clothing, making me look more professional and quite different from how the parents saw me previously. I’m sure I looked a little creepy from their perspective, but I wasn’t trying to be. I was looking for a specific personality. I needed to find a very talkative and kind one; one that would be able to hold a conversation with anyone, including Walter.

I spotted a pale young lady with jet black hair, who was talking with a group of girls. She seemed very cheerful and energetic from what I heard, so when the conversation ended, I went up to her, Walt close behind me. I had to crouch down to talk to her, and my knee cracked when it bent, but I pretended not to notice. “Hello, miss, I’m Walter’s dad. What’s your name?”

“My name is Holly! It’s nice to meet you, sir!” She held out her hand politely and I shook it, giving a small smile.

“It’s a pleasure. Speaking of names, like I said, this is Walter. Walt, why don’t you-?”

I stopped my sentence when I finally looked down at his face. He was staring straight ahead, not looking at the girl but the wall. He was expressionless. He looked as if he’d just seen a Basilisk.

I tried to get him to snap out of it, and while doing so, I heard a cackle from behind us. I turned my head to find a boy surrounded by other students, pointing and laughing at my son. Holly noticed them, made eye contact with the boy, and walked away as if she had been waiting for a chance to escape from a giant monster; the monster, being either me or Walter. I couldn’t tell at this point.

I moved Walt away from the crowd and told him: “Listen buddy. I know you’re scared, and so far school hasn’t been the best. I never liked school either, to be honest. I was always picked on, and I never got my parents involved. We never had a very close relationship, which I’m going to make sure never happens with us. If something is going on, I expect you to tell me, okay?” I finished my speech and my child nodded. “Alright. I have to go. My newest piece is due today, and I don’t want to be fired. The director already doesn’t like me too much,” I pat him on the head, and he trudged slowly into the classroom.

Work was tiring that day. I gave Mr. Hartz my song, and he liked it. The only problem was he had modified the script, causing my music to not make sense anymore. He told me to create a new one in a week, and that I’d be sacked if it wasn’t done on time. What’d I tell you?

When I got to Mrs. Mackenson’s classroom, I noticed the wall had drawings of children and their parents on it. Occasional siblings were also on the paper alongside the student who drew them. I got distracted and started to look for Walter’s, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and saw the teacher, who was just as surprised by my reaction.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, sir! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“It’s alright, ma’am. Hey, do you know where my son’s drawing is? I want to take a picture of it and show my partner.”

She stuttered a moment before continuing. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Walter refused to draw today, and wouldn’t tell me why. I sent him down to the principal’s office, but he couldn’t get a word out of him either. Does he have any sort of behavioral issues?”

She seemed worried, and I understood that. Obviously she wanted to help him, but I couldn’t let her. This was my son, so it was my problem.

“No; I’ve never noticed any situation that couldn’t be easily fixed. Thank you for telling me this, I promise it won’t happen again. I’ll talk to him tonight,” I ended the conversation and went over to the little guy. This time, he was sitting in front of a blank piece of paper. Most likely the work he was so insistent on not doing.

“Hey, what’s with the drawing of a polar bear? I didn’t know I lived in the snow!”

“Not funny.” He turned his head away from me, giving an intense scowl.

“Well, someone’s not in a good mood. And neither am I. Why didn’t you want to draw your father and I?”

Suddenly he went from apathetic to terrified. “Don’t say it out loud!”

“What?”

Then I realized why. Why he didn’t want to do anything with other kids. He didn’t want others to find out about his family. He was . . . embarrassed. He knew that if he became friends with other kids, their parents and his would meet at some point. Then they’d find out about us. He was worried about what others would say. About what they would think.

“A-Are you embarrassed of us?”

“Sorry.”

I hugged him, left the school, and hopped into the car. I started the ride with the radio this time.

--------------------

Adam was the first to speak that night at the table. “So what now?”

He looked down at his food, not hungry. I had tried to get him to eat, but he refused. All he could do was stare at it.

“I don’t know.”

“You said he was shy! This isn’t a kid being shy!”

“Well, he IS shy. Don’t forget that. But it’s not the only reason he didn’t want to make friends.”

“I never thought that he’d be ashamed of us! Didn’t we teach him that we’re all human, regardless of who we love? That’s, like, Parenting 101!”

“I understand you’re upset, but I have a solution.”

“How are we going to do th-. Really?” He turned away from his vegetables and looked straight at me. His eyes were watering.
This is probably harder for him than for me I thought. He blew his dark brown hair out of his face, and when it didn’t stay put, he violently brushed it behind his ear with his hand.

“You know, there’s something called a haircut, sweetheart. You might want to look into that,” I smiled warmly, trying to make him do the same back. Nothing.

“You know I’m growing it out for my role.”

“Wigs are useful.”

“I’m not wasting my money on those when I have perfectly fine hair on my head.”

I decided to change the topic back before we got even more sidetracked. “Alright, so here’s the plan. I read on the school’s website that in a couple weeks the school’s having Career Day. Kind of weird for a grade school, but I’m not going to question it. Anyways, the school is allowing parents to either attend alone or with their spouse. We could go together, show the kids that we’re like any other family, and then Walter won’t be embarrassed anymore!” I was very proud of myself for thinking of this plan. It was perfect.

“That’s a ridiculous plan, Miles,” He rolled his eyes and stood up from the table to start the dishes.

WHAT?!

“Well, do you have a better one?” Sass Mode: Activated.

He sighed. “No.”

“Okay, while you think of a more suitable plan for the situation, I’m going to check on Walter,” I left the room and went across the hall to the two bedrooms at the end. One was ours, the other was Walt’s. His door was shut so we didn’t disrupt his slumber, and I quietly swung it open, careful not to wake him up.

His room, instead of a monotonous brownish-beige color like ours, was painted a light blue. Fluffy clouds were adorned across the “sky”, and you could see the streaks of white from when I decided it’d be a good idea to startle Adam while he was finishing up his fourth cloud. We ended up with paint all over our clothes, since we started to fling the paint at each other. I swear we’re adults.
In the small bed set in the middle of the floor was our son, curled up in a few blankets wearing his favorite yellow pajamas. Pillows were thrown across the room, signaling that he was a much more active person unconscious than awake. In his arms was a small pink bear that we had bought him when we adopted him. He’s slept with it every night since then. And I should know, I check.

I closed the door after whispering a small “Goodnight” into the almost darkness. He had a night light, making the room glow just enough so he could see if he woke up during the night. He hated not knowing what was around him; mystery was one of the scariest things in his mind.

I walked over to our room, and saw that Adam was already crawling into bed. I shut off the lights and went into the bathroom to get ready for the night. About fifteen minutes later, I was lying in bed, though I wouldn’t fall asleep for another hour. Adam got annoyed with all of my tossing and turning, which kept him awake as well.

--------------------

The next two weeks were very awkward. Every day we were informed about something that Walter wouldn’t do, and we apologized, saying it wouldn’t happen again. It repeated the next day. I got in the rest of the music for the show, and Adam was rushing to memorize his lines. Though the actual show wasn’t for another two months, Mr. Hartz thought it was a good time to ask everyone to have their entire roles engraved in their brains already. I had to pretend to be twenty other people every day after rehearsal so he could make sure he got everything right. Though I’m not that much of an actor, if it comes down to my husband, I’ll become Oscar-worthy so he can be as amazing as I know he is.

When the day finally arrived, we were a wreck. I had prepared a speech for our part of the class, but decided to wing it so there wasn’t even more for Adam to learn. We wore our nicest clothing; Adam a white button-down shirt, bow tie, black dress shoes, and jeans, while I had on a polo shirt, black pants, and sneakers. I couldn’t find my fancy shoes, so I just had to deal with them and hope no one noticed or cared. I had finally gotten a haircut the day prior, cleaning it up and making me look as professional as a 26 year old who acts like a 16 year old can look. Adam, of course, just brushed his hair out, not caring about the length at this point. I was a little jealous that all he had to do was that, while if I had done the same thing, my hair would have looked as if I had forgotten what a shower was. It would have looked quite stupid is what I’m trying to say.

We arrived with Walter, who was in his normal clothing, about ten minutes before school started. The children whose parents were giving their presentations that day all looked well-prepared and mature. The two of us stuck out like sore thumbs standing with adults around their 30s to 40s; all of them had on suits or skirts, once again making us feel not only awkward but underdressed.

There were lawyers, firefighters, a policeman, a few teachers, and a bunch of other very respectable occupations. Not one of them was an actor or musician. If we didn’t seem out of place before to some, we did now.

They all presented in front of the kids, and I studied how they stood. They all were confident in their stances, and barely stuttered. Some of them no doubt had other children, so they were most likely used to this sort of thing at this point. The parents who were speaking together were calm and collected, and knew what they were saying. Some of the parents were staring at the two of us, no doubt confused as to who’s the dad and who’s just kind of . . . there.

Finally, it was our turn. We stood up from our tiny stools, which were for kindergarteners and not adults, and got ready. Adam faced the board, nervous about looking the kids in the eye, but I pat his shoulder with encouragement, which made him able to turn around and face the children who were obviously going to be just as confused as their parents.

“Alright, let’s start this!” I cleared my throat. “hello students, my name is Miles Warren, and I am Walter’s father. This is Adam Warren, who is also his dad.”

I started the thing off with a bang, and hands were already in the air. Mrs. Mackenson didn’t know how to react; she just stood in the back of the room with bulging eyes. Parents and children alike whispered to one another, and while ignoring them, I continued.

“I work as an artist. I write pieces for musicals and am able to conduct a band or orchestra, though it’s never interested me. It was required for me to know how to do that, otherwise I might not have passed college. Music has always been my passion, and even though many people said I couldn’t do it, or that it wasn’t a smart career plan, I still went for it. Adam was no different. He’s wanted to perform since he was young, always singing or acting for anyone who’d listen. He almost always got the lead role in his school plays, since there weren’t nearly enough boys into theater, and even if there were, he’s so good that it wouldn’t matter!” I glanced over to Adam, who I was now hugging with my left arm to calm his down, and he was blushing.

“Uh, y-yes. I’ve done musical theater since I was a kid, and I’ve worked very hard. I’ve gotten many roles, and the one I’m working on now is one of the biggest I’ve ever received. I’m honestly very proud of myself. I never would have continued this if it weren’t for Miles, though. He was the only one who encouraged me to keep going, and to never give up. We’ve known each other since we were in high school, which was when I started to develop a crush on him. We started dating when I was 17, and when I told my parents, they weren’t happy. I grew up in a more religious family, and though they didn’t kick me out, they didn’t speak to me for a month after I came out. I was ashamed of how I felt, but then I remembered the biggest thing that this man right here has ever taught me, ‘If you can’t be accepted for being gay, why is it okay to be straight?’ I don’t care as much anymore about what they think, and while I’m still worried because of my parents, I understand that it wasn’t my choice, and I’m happy either way,” He smiled and finished his speech.

I whispered to him, “Also, you’re bisexual, so you can’t really use my quote!”

“Oh shush.”

We continued to talk, and people left and right continued to raise their hands, even though we said we’d take questions at the end. Walter hadn’t looked up once from his desk, which was unsettling.
“Okay, any questions?” I asked when we finally finished explaining what the scale was, and Adam forced me to give an example, thus making me sing in front of everyone.

There were SO many hands to call on. I finally picked a young man with red hair sitting in the front of the classroom.

“What does bisexual mean?” He asked. Apparently he had heard my comment, which was unintentional.

Adam took over for this. “It means that someone can fall in love with a boy or a girl.”

The boy from two weeks ago, who was apparently named Mitchell according to Walter, spoke out of turn, “Why don’t you just pick one?” His devilish grin grew wider as Adam’s face fell.

“Love’s not a choice kid. Just because you say, “pick one”, doesn’t mean that he’s going to become gay or straight for the time being. He’s not confused if that’s what you’re implying,” I know I shouldn’t have gotten so defensive against a child, but no one messes with my man!

A father questioned, “Do you really think that it’s necessary to tell the youth about this? They’re too young to know about this sort of thing.”

“Ohhhh, okay. So suddenly five year olds are “too young” to respect someone regardless of who they love, how they look, and how they act. Oh no! Think of the children! They’re actually being good human beings!” Adam shushed me as everyone started to yell. The kids were never exposed to this, and the parents hadn’t planned on showing it to them until it was unavoidable.

Well, I guess it is now.

Adam looked very upset, but I didn’t know what to call the emotion he was exhibiting. I couldn’t tell if he was going to cry or if he wanted to throw a chair across the room.

Mrs. Mackenson tried to calm everyone down, but she didn’t help much. I knew it wasn’t the best idea, but I guess I was too dumb to understand how terribly this could go.

While everything seemed to be in absolute chaos, something unexpected happened. Walter, the kid that wouldn’t talk to anyone within a fifteen meter radius who he didn’t live with, stood up and yelled right back at everyone.

“STOP!” He shrieked. “leave my dads alone! They’re just like anyone else! There’s no reason for anyone to get upset! They’re the nicest men that I’ve ever met. Just because they’re BOTH men doesn’t mean you can treat them like bad guys!” Tears welled in his eyes as he ran up to the front of the room and hugged the both of us. If I didn’t want to look good in front of the class, I definitely would have been crying. I’m just not tough enough to do that.

Everything froze.

No one spoke. Nothing moved. It seemed as if he had stopped time with his outburst. Parents and students alike had their mouths open in a large “o” shape, and all eyes were on the three of us.

After what seemed like an eternity, but in actuality was about 15 seconds, Holly stood up from her chair and clapped. The other students joined in, except for a few of them, one of whom was Mitchell. The adults also started to clap, and I noticed that a woman, who I assumed was his mother, glared at Mitchell. He saw her too, and turned away from her as he started to bang his hands together with the other children. I was quite impressed that one person could get that stubborn brat to seem even a little supportive.

We sat down, feeling as if our job was done. A few families were left, and everyone was in almost complete silence as they spoke. Once they were done, class was going to end in about 20 minutes, so we were all allowed to speak with others at the presentation and answer any unanswered questions.

Kids went up to us and started to bombard us with their curiosity, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Holly walking over to Walter.

Oh no, I thought as their eyes met.

“H-Hey Walter. I-I wanted to apologize for being so rude before. You’re a cool person, and I think you have great dads!” Without warning, she gave him a hug, and he turned into a block of ice.

“Oh! S-Sorry! I should have asked to hug you, my bad,” Her face was full of sincerity and regret.

“It’s fine, thank you,” Walter smiled and held out his hand for her to shake.

During the time before we left, the two of them were talking nonstop. I noticed a few girls came over to take Holly away, but she refused to leave him behind. It was honestly so adorable seeing him make a new friend!

As if the day couldn’t get any better, the “Devil Child” Mitchell came over and tried to make amends with the two of us while his mother stared at his back. She was a very intimidating woman; I almost felt sorry for the kid.

When it was time to leave, Holly once again hugged Walter, and they waved goodbye as they were ushered to their family’s cars.
Walt, while still being very quiet, couldn’t stop explaining the hilarious things that they both talked about together while on the ride home. It was probably the most he’s ever spoken to anyone in one sitting!

--------------------

We both picked him up the next day, and a few people waved to us as we strolled into the classroom. Mrs. Mackenson immediately called us over to see her, and we were prepared for the worst.

She was standing with a face full of pride, resting her hand on Walter’s right shoulder, as they stood by a wall together. When we finally got a good look at where they were, we saw that there was a picture on the wall, and above it there was a sign that said, “Love is Love.”

The picture was the project he never finished.

It was a drawing of me, looking like an actual giant, standing next to Adam, and in front of us, was our son with the biggest grin on his face. The sign had every student’s signature on it, almost like they were signing a contract for mutual respect. Adam started to cry and hugged Walt, and I’ll admit, I did tear up a little.

The ride home was almost silent besides my husband’s sniffles until he quizzed:

“Was someone mean to you today?”

“No,” Walter whispered.

“Was class fun?”

“Yes.”

“Are you happy to be going home?”

He thought a moment and replied, “Yes.”