More than a Sunflower

The beep that follows, is the worst sound I’ve decided. The one little sound that means it’s over, there are no more goodbyes to give and no more stories to tell. The beep that means you have to wait a whole week to talk to him again, a whole torturous week of monotony. A life-changing opportunity he said, I guess I didn’t realize how much it would change my life even though I’m the one who stayed.

Rain hits the window and I can’t help but laugh, of course, it’s raining, my life is now a cliché chick flick. A girl’s boyfriend leaves and it pours down rain when she’s sad and missing him. Rolling my eyes at the thought I head to my room, it’s barely ten o’clock but I have no reason to stay up anymore. Andrew had to end the call early to study. I Smile to myself as I climb into bed, he’s coming home for a visit in a few weeks.

I’ve just closed my eyes when the repeated ding of the doorbell fills the house. Groaning, I get back out of bed and head to the door. I look through the peephole and see a beautiful sunflower, confused, I open the door. Andrew is standing there, soaked, in the pouring rain.

“Surprise!” He says laughing at what I assume to be the look on my face.

After a brief moment of disbelief, I launch myself at him, holding him in a firm embrace laughing with pure joy. Everything but us disappears as we stand in the rain and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Beauty in Simplicity

I run my hand down the lace accents of my veil nervously. Stop biting your lip I repeat in my head, at this rate It’ll be purple by the time I get down the aisle. Mom walks into the room and gasps,

“You look, beautiful sweetie, absolutely breathtaking.”

“You really think so?” I ask looking over my shoulder into the mirror. I see the floor-length white gown, hugging my chest and stomach before effortlessly falling loosely down my legs. The little lace flowers scattered over the dress catch my eye and I smile.

“You don’t think it’s too plain,” I ask brushing my hand down my side as I turn around.

“Some of the most beautiful things in the world are beautiful because of their simplicity.”

“Thank you, momma,” I say holding back tears.

“Let’s not keep Drew waiting, he’s probably paced a hole into the carpet by now.” She finishes with a laugh and I can’t help but join. I hold her hand as we walk out of the room, smiling, knowing this is going to be a day I remember forever.

Chipped White Paint

“How is it possible to have this many books?” He asks with a groan as he drops the box with a thud.  I Laugh with a shake of my head, he knows how much I love reading, the books in that box are my babies. We both walk out to the car to grab more boxes, walking past our gorgeous sunflower patch on the way. I stop and stare at our new home, the chipped white paint on wood paneling, the little porch, and the deep blue half falling apart window shutters. I love it.

We spend the entire afternoon unloading and unpacking, our tiny home is full to the brim with furniture and boxes, leaving just enough room in the kitchen to cook. I try to reach the tiny cupboard above the stove, first trying to stand on my toes before resorting to jumping and smacking, trying everything to get it open. I hear laughter behind me and I can’t help but join in. I stop jumping, turn around and my jaw drops.
Drew stands there barely holding back laughter as my eyes dart between him and the tail wagging ball of fluff he’s holding.

“Meet Milo.” He says giving Milo an affectionate pat on the head. Milo barks, such a small puppy bark, my heart melts.

A New Addition

I grip Andrews hand tightly as my foot taps the floor rapidly. The waiting room is scarce this late at night, but the doctors and nurses continue to hustle from room to room. I focus on the squeaks of sneakers and the routine beeps of machinery to keep myself from losing my mind with worry. Sam was rushed to the hospital when her water broke after she got here things took a turn for the worse and she is now having an emergency C-section. Michael, her husband called us as soon as they got to the hospital, but we couldn’t get here before they rushed her to surgery.

“This sort of thing happens all the time, you know this, Sam’s going to be okay. The docs know what they’re doing.”  Drew says consolingly, placing his other hand over mine.

What feels like hours go by when Michael walks around the corner beaming, “There’s someone we want you to meet.”

Sam’s smile lit up the entire room as we walked in. She looked completely exhausted, but I’ve never seen her happier. I rush to the bed tears already starting to fall. I see the most precious little baby I’ve ever seen, wrapped in a plush pink blanket.

“Meet Avri.” She says with so much joy.

The Appointment

It started as just a routine checkup, then they wanted a second test to be run. Now we wait for a call that has the potential to change our entire life. Days pass, I stare at the phone each time I walk past it, telling myself that it’ll ring, and they’ll say it was just a fluke, that everything is normal. The call finally comes asking us to make an appointment to discuss the results.

I can tell by the look in his eyes that he knows. He knows the news is bad, but he puts on a smile and tells me everything is going to be okay. We head to the office and have a consultation that changes everything.
“Cancer,” The doctor's voice echoes in my head the entire drive home. I hear it every time I look at him, I know he’s terrified but he puts on a brave face, singing along to the radio. We don’t say a thing until we get home. As he turns the ignition off, I reach my hand out and touch his arm.

“You’re going to be okay, we can fight it. Right?” I ask quietly.

“We’re going to fight.” He says squeezing my hand once.

Anniversary Party

I told Sam that I didn’t want to do anything this year, I just wanted a quiet evening to myself. I made an apple pie but it sat untouched on the counter for hours. I can’t bring myself to even put it away. The heavy rain kept me away from visiting him today, this weather wreaks havoc on my bones. I sit in the living room thinking of our last anniversary. Drew surprised me by taking me to the sunflower field he proposed in, he had set up a beautiful candlelit picnic. We sat there talking and laughing for hours.

I cut the memory short when I feel the tears start to form. This is the only day I promised myself I would not have tears, today is for remembering all of the good. Drew would have wanted that. Drew would have wanted that I tell myself again. With that, I get up slowly from the creaking recliner and head to the kitchen. I grab a knife and carefully slice a small piece of the pie.

“Apple was always your favorite,” I whisper to myself as I take a bite.

Today is Tomorrow

“Mom, did you take your medication today?” She asks picking up the fallen pillow, placing it back on the couch. I look over at the chart that appeared on my wall one day, I see the photo that looks like the woman in the room and see ‘Sam’ written under it.

“Yes,” I say, certain that I had. I smile at her as she looks at the end table by my chair, I follow her eyes and see she’s looking at my container. I keep it there, so I remember. She walks over, picks up my container and opens it with a sigh, pulling my pills for the day out.

“Let me get you some water for these.” She says with such a sad smile.

“You should smile more, you are so pretty when you do,” I say adjusting my blankets. She doesn’t say anything, just leaves to get water. Soon she’s back and watching me take my pills.

“Avri wanted to stop by later today.” She says as she sits on the couch.

“Oh! I haven’t seen her in ages, I love that little girl. Have you met her? She is such a good kid, her mother must be so proud. Look there’s a picture of her,” I point to the chart on the wall, where I see the name Sam again and remember.

“She’s beautiful, I would love to meet her,” Sam says. I watch a tear slowly fall from her eye, she quickly wipes it away and I can’t help but wonder what made her cry.

You Won’t Forget

Avri tried to slow her heart rate with some controlled breathing before she opened the front door. Running around all day was starting to take its toll. The smell of freshly baked apple pie filled her nose as she walked in.
“That smells amazing!”, she says, walking into the kitchen, where her grandma was sitting.

“Thank you,” she smiled a beaming smile, “It was his favorite, you know.”

“I know Grandma. I know.” She says resting her hand on her shoulder. “How about we take the pie down to the community center, while they’re setting up the B.I.N.G.O game for tonight?”

A short drive later and they were in front of the doors, just about to go in when Avri stopped her grandmother.
“I know how much you miss Grandpa and how hard this year has been for you. I didn’t want you to be alone today, so I set up a little something for you. I really hope you like it.”

She steps forward and opens the door for her grandmother, taking the pie from her as she walks through. Her eyes tear up as she sees the transformed community center, friends and family are smiling and waving, seated at covered tables throughout the room. Beautiful flower centerpieces adorn each table, and walls are covered in photos of her and her late husband.

“You told me a month ago that you were afraid you’d forget him.” Avri says gently taking her hand, “As long as you have all of us, we won’t let that happen. Even if we have to remind you every single day.”