Intensity | Teen Ink

Intensity

June 13, 2009
By Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell


The tears poured off her eyelids; slid down her cheeks; fell to the floor. Slowly she sank to the ground, trembling slightly. Her breath came in deep sobs, wracking her chest. She barely had enough air. She did not hear the soft footfalls coming ever closer. She did not see him as he sat down next to her. She did, however, feel as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Turning slightly, the girl buried her face in his shoulder. Her friend held her tighter, resting his head in her soft chestnut curls.

The two of them sat that way for what felt like hours; the girl sobbing loudly on the boy’s shoulder, the boy holding her quietly, steadfastly. Finally, the girl released her last tear. She looked up at the boy, eyes red from crying, cheeks flushed. He turned to her, a small crooked smile on his lips. To the girl’s surprise, tears were slipping down his face as well. “Why are you crying?” she asked softly, voice cracking. The boy considered the question for a second.

“I am crying because you are crying,” he replied truthfully as yet another tear trickled down his handsome face. His smile was still there, unwavering.

The girl stared at him with wide eyes. He stared back at her. A chill like an electric current flowed through both of them. The air around them tingled with static. Slowly, as if pulled by some invisible force, the two teenagers moved closer. Their faces were within a hair’s breath of each other’s. “Why me?” she whispered. “Why did you choose me?” Her eyes darted back and forth, looking for an answer written on his face. “You are the only one who’s real. The only one out of all those girls who knows what it means to truly love someone. Even though he broke your heart, you just keep going. I like that. I think… I think I may even love that.”

His eyes gleamed with a passion long suppressed. “I think I may love you.” His sweet breath lingered on her lips. The girl’s heart began to beat frantically, as if trying to keep up with her rapidly changing emotions. “I think I may love you too,” she admitted.

Without meaning to, the girl shut her eyes. The two leaned even closer, closing the gap between them. His soft lips pressed against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his arms coiled around her waist. The kiss deepened.

Gently, they pulled apart. Both were smiling softly. “Thank you,” the girl said under her breath, so quiet that the boy sitting right next to her wasn’t sure he had heard her at first.

“For what?” She stared deeply into his eyes. He held her gaze, reciprocating the intensity. “For giving me a reason to live again. For saving me from falling.”

“Anytime. Thank you, too. Thanks for letting me in. Thanks for not pushing me away.”

At the same time, the two teenagers said, “I love you,” sealing their fate.

The two leaned in closer, their foreheads, then lips, pressing against the other’s.



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This article has 377 comments.


Lindsey_O GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2010 at 2:52 pm
Lindsey_O GOLD, Marshfield, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 180 comments

Favorite Quote:
Words slide off the lead,
creating permanent marks;
writer's secret code.
~Lindsey O'Connell

Wow! thank you so much! :D I'm ever so glad that you liked it! And by the way, I'm impressed that you managed to pick up on all the little details that you did! You got the characters and the story line completely right! most of my friends needed help figuring all that our! But thank you so much for you comment, once again! and thanks for reading! XD

on Mar. 26 2010 at 8:02 am
CardinalRunner BRONZE, Holland, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 42 comments
Wow. I LOVE it! its real cute

on Mar. 20 2010 at 3:01 am
xoxoLissieM SILVER, Manila, Other
6 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stop acting dumb cause your usually the smart one and I'm the dumb one!"

i really felt the intensity of da story!! nice title..nice story:)

on Mar. 18 2010 at 7:09 am
paranomial PLATINUM, Hyderabad, Other
21 articles 0 photos 55 comments
amazing...n the title is perfect for the write up...it makes u feel every bit tht 1 reads..gr8 work

on Mar. 17 2010 at 9:30 am
Anique_ThePoet GOLD, Indianapolis, Indiana
10 articles 33 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A writer should write with his eyes and painter paint with his ears." ~Gertrude Stein~

Intensity was a great name for this. this was really amazing. i'm not one for romance unless i know its real, and this brought it to me. this is a great piece. the characters were real, u can imagine their situation without it being spoken. it gives assurance at the end. romantic pieces need the passion, emotion, depth, and other things u could feel in this story. bravo, this is one of the best.

Mericals said...
on Mar. 16 2010 at 10:19 am
Mericals, Denver, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Flaming girl's frozen heart shattering ice.

The short story, Intensity, by Lindsey_O, focuses on character development. I really love the guy character in this story. I don’t think that you could have made him any sweeter. Once you said that he walked over to her, and put his arm around the girl you really had me hooked. That really made him seem so secure about himself, and that he had a heart. Unlike that jerk who broke the girl’s heart, he is very sympathetic. The last part of the story that made me feel really good about knowing the character was when he said, “I am crying because you are crying.” I just felt like he was not only a sympathetic person, but also a empathetic person. He made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside.

With the girl character I think that at the beginning of the story when you said that her tears poured off her eyelids, rolled down her cheeks, and fell to the floor, that really made me feel like she was the kind of girl that wore her heart and emotions on her sleeve. Also that she had really been hurt, because for a girl to cry over a guy they must have really, really liked them. Also when the girl kind of nuzzled her head into his shoulder made me feel like she was an excepting and inviting person. She seems like the like of girl that could be friends with anyone. I love both of the characters.

The girl's reaction to the guy being there for her, and him loving the way she could move on and let someone in after a heartbreak made the story that much more interesting. My favorite part of the story is when they both said I love you at the same time and that sealed their fate. You are a very good writer. I think that you developed the girl character very well, with again the way she reacted to whatever the guy did. I think that you developed the boy character very well with a lot of his nice gestures. You really made them connect. I LOVED IT!!

Mericals said...
on Mar. 15 2010 at 7:58 pm
Mericals, Denver, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Flaming girl's frozen heart shattering ice.

Hey! i really love the guy character i this story. I dont think that you could have made him any sweeter. The girl's reaction to him being there for her, and him loving the way she could mpve on and let someone in after a heartbreak made the story that much more interesting. My fave part of the story is when they both said i love you at the same time and that, that sealed their fate. you are a very good writer. i think that you developed the girl character very well, with agaid the way she reacted to whatever the guy did. I LOVED IT!!

on Mar. 13 2010 at 4:58 pm
Skittlelover SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sick of crying, tired of trying. I may be smiling but inside I'm dying

Wow. That is all I have to say. Wow.

Rennie BRONZE said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 9:43 pm
Rennie BRONZE, Abbeville, Louisiana
2 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
You only have one life, so don't mess it up.








-Logan (My little brother)

Shha! That's so cute! Now I can't sleep cuz I'm thinking bout this guy i really really like! He is almost as perfect as the guy in this story! LOL :)

on Feb. 23 2010 at 8:06 pm
the-ampersand PLATINUM, Ogdensbury, New York
32 articles 1 photo 106 comments
....A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. it was so cute and sweet! i loved this! not too much excess information, but not too little, loved the conclusion. =.=

on Feb. 23 2010 at 10:17 am
MyFairyTaleEnding SILVER, Villa Ridge, Missouri
7 articles 0 photos 86 comments
Aww...that is soo sweet...I LOVE IT!

on Feb. 23 2010 at 9:44 am
alisha14 BRONZE, Parkesburg, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 7 comments
you described this so nicely. i could feel what the girl was feeling. i love this story =) keep up the good work

bookgrl16 said...
on Feb. 23 2010 at 12:32 am
bookgrl16, Lakeville, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
..."So the lion fell in love with the lamb"... Twilight

This story was heartwarming and i love how it sends a message of hole and love! =)

JessicaAnn said...
on Feb. 5 2010 at 11:55 am
JessicaAnn, Atlanta, Texas
0 articles 26 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's my life and I'm writing what happens, but I'm writing in pen so i can't erase my mistakes. <33

This is amazing, breath taking at that, it made my stomach get butterflies as if I was the girl.

Keep writing you are wonderful at it.

on Feb. 4 2010 at 4:05 pm
VampiericRain GOLD, Amarillo, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
Would you like a side of epic with that fail?

This is amazing. I love how passionate it is when its such a short passage. I wish something like that would happen to me........

on Feb. 2 2010 at 4:49 pm
Fall.with.me16 BRONZE, Houston, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Did my heart love till now? Foreswear it, sight. For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night:)

Breath- taking. so simple so romantice! Such passion! I could relate. Beautiful!!!

on Feb. 1 2010 at 3:22 pm
iloveryoualot BRONZE, Fonda, New York
4 articles 4 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a box of chocolates.~ Forest Gump

I LOVED IT!!! It reminded me of someone that I konw.

on Feb. 1 2010 at 3:10 pm
AmazingGrace88 GOLD, Lake Oswego, Oregon
13 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
No boys are worth your tears,
and the ones who are wont make you cry.

OMG this is sooooo sweet it makes me think of the guy i like and how we relate its very very good keep it up!!

on Feb. 1 2010 at 1:28 pm
OMg!! i loved this story so cute!! What a great idea to write! I lovedthe details in this story! Keep it up :) :)

J!!!! said...
on Feb. 1 2010 at 1:21 pm
I love Kati!!!!!!