Reveille | Teen Ink


September 23, 2009
By ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments

I’m going to die soon.

These were the five words your pretty little mouth would utter every time you wanted something very badly. I didn’t know that when I first met you. All I thought—being a silly 15-year-old teenage guy—was that you were one of the prettiest girls I’d ever seen in my life. Do you remember? I was hanging around the beach with my friends when I saw you swimming out in the open blue sea, wearing that white and red polka-dotted one-piece. Later on when I asked, you grimaced and said you hated polka dots—they made you look fat. I didn’t say it that time but I think you looked just right. It’s already been five months since then and I got to know a lot about you. Your favorite color is orange, warm and bright just like your smile. Why don’t you smile anymore? You like frilly and fuzzy stuff, although you don’t want to admit it. You’re filthy rich. You’re a spoiled brat. You scrunch up your nose—in a cute way—whenever it itches. And you’re going to die in three weeks.

That’s the most horrible thing. I only learned about it a week ago when I overheard your family doctor talking to your parents. Your dad sounded grim and your mother sounded like she would faint any minute. I wanted to barge right into the room and tell him he was making a huge mistake. But that wouldn’t change anything, would it? You knew it yourself.

Right now, I’m watching you from the window of your mansion. You’re in the garden arguing with your dad. Things aren’t going your way again. You’re tired of your wheelchair, you say, and you want the brand new model that you saw on TV last night. Your dad keeps shaking his head, saying it’ll just be a waste of money and he’s almost successful in refusing—until you say those five hateful words again: “I’m going to die soon.”

I want to scream. I want to run to you, grab your shoulders and shake some sense into you. My 3rd grade teacher used to repeat over and over again: “If you think you’re going to lose, then you really will.” I want to shout those words to you right now, because you’ve obviously accepted the fact that you’re going to die. I haven’t yet, so please don’t give up. Stop saying those words. They’re starting to appear in my nightmares, torturing me, reminding me of how short my time with you is. I want to get mad at you for giving up so soon, but I can’t. I want to—your head suddenly turns in my direction as if you heard what I was thinking. Now you’re smiling mischievously and rolling your chair towards the door, towards me. Why are you smiling? Why only now? A lump is forming in my throat. I take back what I thought before—you’re not one of the prettiest girls I’d ever seen—no, you’re at the top of the list.

I decide to say them now: those three words that no 15-year-old guy would ever seriously dare to say. Even though you’re the most spoiled brat I’ve ever met. Even though you told me you had a crush on that lifeguard at the beach. Even though you’ll probably laugh at me and tell me I’m being ridiculous. Even though my chest is pounding and I can feel the blood rushing to my head. So I say them. Those three little words that have been in my mind ever since the day I met you. Your jaw drops open and your eyes nearly pop out of your head. I hang my head, feeling my face get hot and my palms get sweaty as I stare at the cold green marble floor. Then I hear your reply. And I raise my head slowly to see if I heard right. Sure enough, your cheeks are as red, if not redder than mine. You come closer, maneuvering your wheelchair, tears in your eyes. I bend down and gently press my lips to your forehead, still dazed by your unexpected reply. We’re lost in our own little world, unaware of the servants and your parents staring at us from different viewpoints. As I pull you closer, memorizing the warmth of your body, I hear you vow never to say those five words again. Now all we can do is pray for a miracle.

The author's comments:
Well, this is my first piece on the site.. The style isn't really original but at the time I thought it up, I guess I didn't really think of anything else. I just let the words flow.. I guess the idea isn't all that original either but still.. Hope you like it!! Please comment if there's anything you wanna say..

Thanks a lot!!!


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This article has 69 comments.

on Apr. 30 2010 at 1:44 pm
Elle_phant SILVER, Barnsley, Other
7 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love you more today, than yesterday but less than tomorrow." <3
"Lifes a climb, but the veiws great." :)
"Laundry is the only thing that should be seperated by colour." <3
"Age shouldn't matter if the pair truly love each other." :)

I'm tearing up. It was well .. amazing, incredible.

on Feb. 23 2010 at 8:09 pm
the-ampersand PLATINUM, Ogdensbury, New York
32 articles 1 photo 106 comments
i think that this is perfect the way it is, with out any more added. it was so cute and sweet and short and perfectly summed up everything happening in those instances. =.=

on Jan. 10 2010 at 1:54 am
-raining-grace- BRONZE, Allisaw, Alaska
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
-Live Laugh Love-
Its the only way to survive this life.

just saying i think that the kiss on the forhead was perfect. he doesnt try to kiss her passionatly because he is comforting and being happy with her.

on Jan. 5 2010 at 7:50 pm
natygrace1217 PLATINUM, Jefferson, Maryland
24 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
trying is failing, doing is succeeding.

i liked it a lot....i will be interested in seeing what happens!

on Dec. 19 2009 at 8:13 am
EHunt96 PLATINUM, Swampscott, Massachusetts
32 articles 0 photos 215 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about."

Wow, your article was AWESOME! I want to see so much more! You have pure, talent!

KEEP WRITING!!! If you wanted to you can check out some of my work such as, "A birthday to remember" or "Him..."

I loved this article!!!

ps13795 SILVER said...
on Oct. 3 2009 at 1:25 am
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments
Wow, you won't believe just how much of a compliment that is for me! Thank you so much! But "Sky" is definitely better than mine. Haha!


ps13795 SILVER said...
on Oct. 3 2009 at 1:23 am
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments
Thank you! And i absolutely loved "How did you know"! :)

Roryl SILVER said...
on Oct. 2 2009 at 6:21 pm
Roryl SILVER, Mt. Olive, North Carolina
7 articles 14 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. ~C.S. Lewis

This article was amazing! I am wishing for more. I see that we have something in common-both writing first in the guys point of view. I noticed that you said you were going to switch characters next time, which is what I did, also! (more of my story is on my website, I agree that it is kind of difficult to do that, but you get used to it. Thanks for reading my article and providing such positive feedback, but I think your article is better than mine. Keep writing!

on Oct. 2 2009 at 12:53 pm
liltrinhle SILVER, Raleigh, North Carolina
8 articles 6 photos 37 comments
This is great. you did a wonderful job describing the characters feelings.

Check out my work!



ps13795 SILVER said...
on Oct. 2 2009 at 6:26 am
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments
Sorry about the "kiss on the forehead" issue :D. Kisses on the lips will most definitely be included in my other stories. Thanks for all the comments and encouragement, everyone!!


BookLOver808 said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 7:27 pm
It was really good and kept me really interested. i like that it from was the guy's view that's refreshing. I loved everything but i have to agree that the forehead kiss through me off. but i absoultely loved the whole "three words" and "i take it back you're not one of the most prettiest girl I've ever seen. you're at the top of the list" something like that and i thought that was the cutest. loved it.!!

on Oct. 1 2009 at 5:04 pm
SeeTheStars BRONZE, Sammamish, Washington
1 article 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men"
-Charles Darwi

really really good! i like how there wasn't much detail about why she was dying, because it was a unique style and gave it an heir of mystery. I think your writing style is really good, the only thing i noticed was the kiss on the forehead? seems kinda awkward. like a full on kiss wouldve been more like passionate. but definitely overall it was a greatttt story :)

ilovesteve<3 said...
on Oct. 1 2009 at 4:23 pm
ya i like it to!!

:) :) :) :)

on Sep. 30 2009 at 6:26 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.


ps13795 SILVER said...
on Sep. 30 2009 at 5:58 am
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments
To everyone who commented and will comment, thank you so, so much for your feedback, whether bad or good!! I'm sorry I won't be able to reply for every single comment from now on (^_^), so I'm just thanking all of you in advance with this one post that I hope you'll read, So to whoever's reading this out there right now, thanks (x100!)



on Sep. 29 2009 at 2:55 pm
liban605 BRONZE, Kent, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than You."
-Dr. Seuss

really touching, i love how it's from a guy's point of view. great writing, great details. i feel like i'm write there :) i even got butterflies in my stomach! :)

on Sep. 29 2009 at 10:24 am
Nonnalucero SILVER, San Bernardino, California
6 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
is it solveable?? is it entertaining?? does it sparkle???

this story is touching i can relate to it, somehow.... dont forget to read Paul and Alice from my bestie. thanks your new fan= me

ps13795 SILVER said...
on Sep. 29 2009 at 6:00 am
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments
Thank you!! It was kinda hard thinking like a guy for the story, all the time thinking "What would he do?". I'm pretty busy lately and I'm trying to find time to write the continuation. Oh, and it'll be in the girl's point of view this time!


on Sep. 28 2009 at 11:58 pm
grnlver114 PLATINUM, Seal Beach, California
23 articles 0 photos 12 comments
This story is amazing! Its cool to read from a guy's point of view. I think it has a mega potential. :)

ps13795 SILVER said...
on Sep. 28 2009 at 8:59 pm
ps13795 SILVER, Baguio, Other
9 articles 5 photos 43 comments
Okay, thanks for the advice!! I'll make sure to put all the details in the next one. ^_^