Killer Eyes; part 1 | Teen Ink

Killer Eyes; part 1

September 26, 2009
By unwrittenlove DIAMOND, Mount Berry, Georgia
unwrittenlove DIAMOND, Mount Berry, Georgia
61 articles 11 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be" -anonymous


I laugh as my friend, Max, shoots another spitball at the nerd in front of the room. Max gives me a high-five and rolls up another paper ball. Hearing the faint squeak of the door, I glance up. A girl walks in and heads to the teachers desk. I turn my attention away, uninterested. My eyes swept over the classroom checking out the scene. Max continued shooting spitballs while girls looked on admiringly. My on again, off again girlfriend, Carrie, was with her usual posse of mean girls. A group of punks huddled in the corner arguing about a new punk CD that came out today.
“Excuse me,” an annoyed, high-pitched voice spoke beside me. The girl who walked in earlier eased by Max and me to sit in the desk behind us. I shot her a disgusted look and turned back to my realm of students.
Being the most popular boy in school, star quarterback, and student body president had its perks. I ruled the school, with the most popular girl by my side. I smiled at the group of girls whispering and pointing in my direction. They giggled and turned away. The sound of clacking stilettos neared me. Carrie leaned down and kissed me. I pushed her away and she glared at me with her arms crossed.
“Why won’t you kiss me?” she demanded.
“Carrie, I told you this past weekend we are over. For good now,” I leaned back in my chair. I heard an audible gasp throughout the room. I could see the fire flash in Carrie’s eyes.
“Why do you have to be like this?” she sputtered.
“Why do you have to make fun of all the other girls that aren’t cool enough or aren’t skinny enough? I happen to know that some of them are really awesome,” I retorted. Carrie opened her mouth to retaliate but nothing came out for once. She stormed off and I grinned. The bell rang, signaling the end of the period. I grabbed my backpack and strode into the hallway. Luckily, my locker was close by, so in less than a minute I was turning the dial to open my locker. The bell rang again and students rushed to get to class. I took my time, putting in books and taking out my Chemistry textbook. The hallway was soon silent. I sighed and let the silence comfort me.
That all ended when there was a loud crash a few feet away. I turned and saw the new girl sprawled out on the ground. Her dark brown hair was spread out around her and her eyes were closed. Panicked I ran over to her and checked her out. I noticed that her small, blood red dress clung to her body in all the right places. I took her head in my arms and leaned down. She was breathing really fast and shallow.
“Hello?” I whispered. Looking down at her schedule, I saw that her name was Alexandra. “Alexandra?”
“Help me,” she whispered lowly. I leaned down again to hear her. “Help me.”
“What happened?” I almost shouted. Her eyes opened a little and I could see that they were a dark blue with a little purple around the edges. They were the most beautiful things I had ever seen.
“Help.” Her mouth formed the words once again. She closed her eyes and her body went limp.
“Help me! Help me!” I screamed; tears streamed down my face. “She needs help. Somebody help me!” My vision blurred and I heard a sea of voices around me. I shut them out. I had to help the girl with the killer eyes.


The author's comments:
My friend inspired this one. He loves to help people and I knew he would like this story.

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This article has 42 comments.


on Apr. 22 2010 at 1:40 pm
LeeAnn1996 GOLD, Vernon, Alabama
11 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
There's nothing to be afraid of if you face it first.

This was amazin and the crying at the end just shows how good and emotional and dramatical it will be. Great!

on Mar. 31 2010 at 8:25 pm
writergirl13 GOLD, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
11 articles 8 photos 261 comments

Favorite Quote:
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bierce

Wow! that's really good so far, you should continue writing this, i'm anxious for more!

on Feb. 15 2010 at 1:08 pm
Lauren101 SILVER, Mansfield, Texas
5 articles 3 photos 21 comments
That was good! I liked the ending, it left me feeling curious about what would happen.
Could you read this and give me feedback? http ://www.teenink .com /fiction/historical_fiction/article/97138/The-Tripoli-Chronicle/

on Jan. 27 2010 at 1:08 pm
TheStoryWeaver GOLD, Sofia, Other
12 articles 4 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The Aenied is an Odyssey of epic proportions." - Caleb
"Eve was deceived and ate the fruit, Adam ate it out of stupidity." - Mr. M
"Begone ye map of woe!"
"I'm the map..." - Lydia and Caleb.

Was the reference to the Christy Miller Series intentional? Anyways, I really liked it.

on Jan. 24 2010 at 5:25 pm
Adele Campbell BRONZE, Noblesville, Indiana
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments
I really liked this, but i don't think he has the right personality to be crying for a girl he just met so early in the story.

reesha SILVER said...
on Jan. 22 2010 at 1:06 am
reesha SILVER, Rawalpindi, Other
6 articles 15 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
Walt Disney

"Hakuna Matata!"
Lion King

"The British policy was 'unite and conquer'. But I say 'unite and conquer'."
Greg Mortenson (Three Cups of Tea)

I really like it, but the crying was a little too random. it was really good though!!

on Jan. 6 2010 at 9:16 am
BeautifulSimplicity BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
We keep it light, until it's time to go dark. Then we go pitch black.

haha ohhhhhhhhhh

on Jan. 2 2010 at 8:02 pm
unwrittenlove DIAMOND, Mount Berry, Georgia
61 articles 11 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be" -anonymous

Haha he thought she was dying

on Jan. 2 2010 at 7:25 pm
BeautifulSimplicity BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
We keep it light, until it's time to go dark. Then we go pitch black.

i really like it, but y is the guy crying lol

book_worm said...
on Jan. 2 2010 at 4:51 pm
Ahh! love it! can't wait to see what happens!!!!!!!!

Emeris SILVER said...
on Dec. 11 2009 at 5:49 pm
Emeris SILVER, Glenwood, Iowa
5 articles 11 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's better to try and regret rather than regret not trying at all :/

...very true

on Dec. 11 2009 at 5:41 pm
unwrittenlove DIAMOND, Mount Berry, Georgia
61 articles 11 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be" -anonymous

Well, wouldn't anybody be crying if you thought soemone was dying in your arms? :)

Emeris SILVER said...
on Dec. 11 2009 at 4:12 pm
Emeris SILVER, Glenwood, Iowa
5 articles 11 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's better to try and regret rather than regret not trying at all :/

It's great! It is a bit wierd that the guy starts to cry, but I love the book.

on Dec. 11 2009 at 12:18 pm
Rachel_Beth GOLD, Rainsville, Alabama
11 articles 3 photos 19 comments
truely amazaing i must say ;)

on Dec. 11 2009 at 12:18 pm
Rachel_Beth GOLD, Rainsville, Alabama
11 articles 3 photos 19 comments
amazing! ;) ;)

Anj16 GOLD said...
on Nov. 17 2009 at 2:49 pm
Anj16 GOLD, Eagan, Minnesota
19 articles 0 photos 74 comments
the guy crying at the end ruins it a bit. but yeah nice job with this

on Oct. 23 2009 at 9:33 am
unwrittenlove DIAMOND, Mount Berry, Georgia
61 articles 11 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be" -anonymous

lol there is

on Oct. 22 2009 at 9:08 pm
xxxVanessaxxx SILVER, Alexander, Arkansas
9 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"i CaNt Be AwAy fRoM hEr BeLlA, iT hUrTs ToO mUcH." (Jacob from the breaking dawn book)

if there isn't a sequal, i am so getting mad, i have to find it, it has to be in this website somewhere.....where to look though......gotta go, gotta find the sequal. (lol)

on Oct. 13 2009 at 5:07 pm
SilverAngel SILVER, West Carollton, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is an open book, we take the journey until the end." ~Me

OMG, there's a sequel right?!?!?!?!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!

iPonder GOLD said...
on Oct. 11 2009 at 3:49 pm
iPonder GOLD, Elk Grove, California
14 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
The bad things happen first,then the good things, then more bad things, then more good things: God helps us through the bad things so we can enjoy the good ones. :)

woah loved it. it had me from beginning to end. killer eyes id say.