Dear XXX | Teen Ink

Dear XXX

October 11, 2009
By BriMeister BRONZE, Dana Point, California
BriMeister BRONZE, Dana Point, California
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"When you reach the end of the line, jump on the line next door,\" - My head,


Dear, XXX


Yesterday I was reborn, and today I died. It was because of you again. Every time we speak something inside of me changes, and while I fight to remain as myself, I change more and more everyday. You twist my mind, and you make me happy, and you treat me nicely. Then you kill me soon after. It's how it's always been, and until it is truly over, that's how it will always be.


Does this bother me? Somewhat, but I know that the good times are more amazing then the bad times are horrid. All I have to do is repeat that to myself, all I shouldn't do is repeat that to myself. Every night, I think of you, every day, I look forward to speaking to you, and so do you.


I'm full well aware of how bad you are for me, but I cannot give you up. I refuse to give you up.
You're my source of strength and I need you, at least that's what I've brainwashed myself into believing.


I love you, but I will the day to come when I don't. I'm you're friend, and you're my hero, but you'll never fully accept me into your heart. Not all the time anyways.


I think I've now realized what it is you do.


When I'm sad, you're there, you bring me up, and then drop me hard on head.


I know you don't mean to do it, you don't even realize when you do it, but no matter how much I tell myself that, it refuses to sink. It floats on the top of my mind, then I rip my heart out over it, and it stays out.


Thankfully though, you're kind enough to shove it back in for me.


I regret to say that I do love you, and I do trust you. You deserve that, and I don't deserve you. I'll see you soon, and I hope you'll be kind enough to once again mend my broken heart.

Love, XxX


The author's comments:
I don't know why some of the things you say bother me, maybe it's just me being selfish. Yeah, that must be it.

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This article has 1 comment.


Saudade said...
on Nov. 8 2009 at 11:40 am
Saudade, Dallas, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 7 comments
exactly the way i feel.