You know how you see the cutest guy in the entire school walking down the hall? Well he completely ignores you. He’s there stopping by a girls’ locker, smiling and flirting with her. He uses his “charm” on her and says how good he is at all his sports and tells’ her how hot she is.

He doesn’t even notice me you think. But then here he comes walking towards your way. You look into your locker mirror and make sure your hair looks ok but you see little bumps and strands of loose hair. C***! You whisper to yourself. Now you have to think fast and beautify yourself.

It’s just a matter of seconds before he passes by you and might even notice you for once. You take your hand and reluctantly lick your hand and smooth the bumps in your hair with your spit. And of course the hottie stops in front of you and sees you lick your hand and put your own spit on your hair. He looks at you disgust and says to his friends “what a freak!” They all chime in and point at you and laugh. At least now he knows you but as “Spit Girl.”

You sigh as they finally walk away from you and head to class. Now everyone knows and laughs at you while walking to class. How much more embarrassed can you get? Well it gets worse. Sure it was gross but it will die off and you’ll be able to try and impress him again-hopefully.

It’s been exactly one month and the remarks of “Spit Girl” are completely gone-finally. Today you know you’re starting fresh again and definitely want to make him drool and fall head over heels for you. So you take your best set of clothes and dress to impress.

You eat your cereal and brush your teeth twice, use mouth wash and floss extra times to make sure you don’t have bad breath when he finally talks to you. Here comes again the scene in the hallway. He’s there again flirting with another girl by her locker. He uses the same compliments as yesterday. This time he takes longer. So you skipped using the bathroom this morning to make sure you look extra good so you go now and then impress him.

You look in the bathroom mirror one more time and make sure you look perfect. Great, now it’s time. You walked out the door without checking yourself in the back. Everyone stares as you walk out the bathroom. Turns out you have a piece of toilet paper sticking out your pants and being dragged out behind you. But you haven’t noticed yet because you keep staring at the guy’s hotness.

You walk in front of him ready. You smile at him (the flirty kind). He just stares at you with a straight face. What’s the matter? You ask yourself. I checked in the mirror and I looked fine. Now he starts to laugh-again with am loud roar that vibrated his large chest.

He started slowing down his laughter to reach behind me. He was laughing because of his joy of the view of-me! He’s going to bring me closer and finally kiss me! You think, but yet again your wrong. He reaches behind you and pulls out the piece of toilet paper that was hanging down you pants. Your face turns bright red and your mouth drops open with shock. He laughs even more now at how ridiculous you look.

The laughter gets louder and louder until you can’t bear it anymore. It’s just too much. You run outside the school and rush to the farthest tree and puke. Great now you smell like puke too! This is just not going to work. He thinks I’m a loser and a freak-that’s all and nothing more. After walking and walking along the shore and looking at the sunset out in the horizon you realize something: he’s not worth your time. He’s just a player. Now you smirk. He doesn’t deserve someone like me-not at all. Now no need to impress anybody.