It wasn’t always like this… not for her. There were lots of things she’d been through. She felt not only worthless but weak as well. The pain, the necessary pain she needed. The way that her mind was working it was weak and just… plain weird. Once more she felt it, she’d felt the stab again, twisting in her heart and veins. Yet she didn’t have the momentum to leave fast enough. Once she saw him the whole world came collapsing again once more as it had that day. What was the point? Why not just give up? No, she knew why, because she couldn’t stand to be away from him. She couldn’t stand the emptiness that she felt when not thinking or being around him. Pathetic, I’m pathetic she thought. And where was she going now? The thought came but the realization hurt. If it had been a year ago she would have immediately gone to her best friend’s house. She laughed bitterly to herself. Of course she couldn’t because she wasn’t alive anymore. A tear spilled down her cheek, was it always going to be like this? Was the pain ever going to go away?
She hadn’t only hurt herself, she’d hurt possibly one of the greatest guys shed ever meet. She’s hurt him by just leaving. She took in a deep breath trying hard not to go back to the scene. Unsuccessfully, she remembered the face that Percy had when she stalked out the door without explanation or good bye. He was someone genuine if not someone with a better heart than hers. He’d accepted her when she was broken, not whole, someone completely…well, not her. Back she went to the day when her life was completely ruined. Ugh, will I ever forget that feeling? She knew the answer to her own question; no she wouldn’t, that evil thing inside her would remind her again and again.
When she opened the door she was first very mad not because of what she was bout o see, but because of what she heard when walking towards the room. The gossip, ‘cause that was all it was those few second before, just gossip.
The twisted pain she felt, at first all she could do was stand there shocked, that instant she would have thought she was dreaming if it weren’t for how real it all felt. She knew what she wanted to do, she wanted to scream, kick something, punch someone, anything. She wanted for the pain to leave go away, why her? What did the world have against her? Maybe it was payback, maybe she was the worst person in the world. In any matter she would never comprehend, if for what ever reason god had given her misery, well then he’d succeeded. ‘Cause that’s what she had felt like, her whole world came collapsing, the same way she did.
When she finally managed move her lips she’d asked the most obvious question, “What’s going on?” Yep, her genius question was that, as if it went clear enough.
He quickly disentangled himself from the sl*t that was in front of him. His first reaction was that he gasped. He gasped, like he’s the one being stabbed with a knife in the heart, she thought. “I…I don’t know what to tell you,” and just like that the little pieces that were left form her heart all shattered to the floor, where the rest of her was.