"Good luck." My teacher hands me a test. You know, it's funny how that phrase took me so far back in time. In my head, a sudden rush of unframed pictures, and nearly faded memories flash by. Wow. I cant believe i remember all of that. But instead of pondering my memories, i place them in a secret spot in the back of my head. Maybe i will think about them later, hopefully not.

Chapter one
" Oh steph, hold on your shoes untied!" We were at the door to the school. I wanted to go in. "Mommy, hurry!" i fussed. After she stood back up, i ran to the door and pushed with all my might. I heard my mom giggle. She came up begind me and slowly opened the door. I burst in. The smell of crayons, books, and stacking blocks take over my sences. There were tall people all arounf me. I instantly became nervous, and waited for my mom. She came up beside me and took my hand into hers. We were walking, and i tried to take in every noise, smell, and person in. it wasnt long untill we came to a giant door. my mom looked down to me and asked " are you ready?" i didnt know if i was or not, so i nodded my head with a big grin. as she turned the knob, i held my breath and counted to three. the door came open and a gush or air came out of my lungs, as i saw little kids my age all around, some playing with dominoes. some drawing on a chalk board. I noticed though, that one little boy was coloring, by himself. i walked past a big desk and an older woman. I heard my mom call for me but i ignored her. i came to a hault when the boy looked up at me. " Hi im Stephani!" i smiled big. He looked down at his "BLues Clues" sneakers and whispered, "Jordan" my smile grew bigger, " My dogs name is Jordan!" he looked up at me and smiled, " what colors your dog?"
* ten years later*
i was running so fast i didnt see or hear the teacher yelling at me.my heart was pounding; breath lost. "JORDAN!" i jumped on his back. " geeze Steph haha" i hopped off and just stared at his solid brown eyes. " So how are you?" i sighed. " Just ducky" he laughed " you know i never really understood that phrase, what is a ducks mood anyway?" i laughed too, " Good point." i then noticed the saddness in his eyes. i thought i heard him say something, but the bell rand nad he left. he will tell me later, he always does.
*one week later*
it was dark ourside. the stars were brighter then you could ever halusenate. the air was the perfect tempeture, and the moon was so big it looked like w we could touch it. It was the usual night for Jordan and i. we would lay on one of our trampolines, and talk about the day; try to find the same star twice, and listen to the night time noises. " Steph?" he was whispering. " whats up Jordypop?" i had never heard him speak with such shakinness in his voice, it made me nervous. " i have to tell you something." i didnt like it already. i sat up and he did too. " remember how we were going to that concert this summer?" " yes.." " i..i wont make it." i breathed. " thats all? oh god Jordan, i thought it was something horrible." i laughed a bit. " im not done Steph.." i grew quiet. " i only have four months left with you.." i held my breath again. " your moving?? you cant! what about graduation, and prom?" i was so frustrated. he kept shaking his head. " Steph.. im not moving." he wouldnt look at me. i didnt understand. i resaid his words in my head, " i only have four months left.." i heard a crack then a shatter. my heart colapsed in my chest. Liquid pain fell from my eyes with no warning. " jordan?" i whispered. still no eye contact. " i have brain cancer Steph." My eyes were overcome by a wave of tears that came crashing over my face. He pulled me close and held me while i let in the scary truth. My bestfriend, the one who helped me up when i got a scraped knee in gym. The one who always got me a birthday card. The one who knew more about me then me, he was dying. And the time he needed to be held, I had fallen apart, and he was holding the broken heap of what was left of me.
* two months later*
I was walking ro Jordan's house after school, alone. For nearly a month, i did the same thing everyday. Worry, cry, see Jordan and pray. Our time together was running out fast. Like an hour glass, but this one would never be turned back over. I reached his house and walked up the steps. I knocked once and walked in. As i slid past the staircase, i made my way to the small room near the living room. I knowcked twice, snapped my fingers once nad coughed. I heard a weak giggle. The sound of his attempt of happiness, hit me in the stomache. I wiped the tear away and reached for the door knob. I took a deep breath, trying to fight the tears, adn opened the door. The room was the perfect tempeture. The hospital bed he lay in, may be more comvinent, but i wished i could see him once more, in his skinny-jeans and hoody, sitting in his room upstairs playing his guitar. I walked over to him and sat down. I looked into his paling eyes. His skin was pale, and sick. His brown tossled hair, now gone. "Hey Steph." He said in a whisper with his eyes closed. "Hey Jordan, your looking better today!" Who was i trying to comfort more, him? Or me? " Ha! Yeah thanks, although i probably look alot better then you, Steph are you eating?" i shook my head. "Sleeping?" I just looked at him. "Steph why dont you in my room and lay down? You have been so helpful, take a break, go find some food and take a nap." He said it as though he really thought i should. To be honest, i really wanted to. "Okay." He smiled. I fluffed his pillow and fixed his blanket and changed the channel for him. i walked up the stairs. I was concitering turning around and going back. But i didnt. When i reached his room, it was like he never left it. His bed was a mess, laundry everywhere, adn sheet music scattered everywhere. I went to his closet and found my favorite hoody of his. I put it to my face and took in his scent. I could never define his smell. It was unique. I put it on and layed down on his bed. I didnt even bother moving anything. I wanted to keep everything the way it was. As i drifted off into a sleep, i heard an ambulince. I thought it was my reacuring nightmare. Then i got up and looked out the window. The sight of my bestfriend in the strecher, made me scream.
*two days later*
De ja vue? Maybe. Id rather call it a horrible nightmare that i was living in. I was in the hospital room sitting next to my bestfriend. The contraption by the bed, was the only thing keeping him with me. I was being selfish i know. His parents were hurting, but i only cared about me. I wanted to be the one in the bed, not him. Not Jordan. He was in a coma. How? Im not sure. All i knew was, he would never wake up. "Stephani hunny?" His mom placed her hand on my shoulder. "Yeah?" "Can you get me some more coffee please?" I looked into her puffy red eyes. "Of course." I reached for the cup that was in her hands. She wouldnt let go. She pulled me into her arms and embraced me with the biggest hug id ever recieve. She pulled away and sat down by her son. I left and walked to the cafiteria. On my way out, Jordan's doctor walked in. I wanted to stay and find out what was said, but id find out whe i came back. After i filled her cup and was on my way back, i seen a family leaving. They looked happy. I realised, Jordan would never walk out of here. I walked into the room. I could smell tears and feel hurt. Jorndan's mom lay in the chair crumpled and fallen apart. I sat the cup down and she sat up. Her face showed more pain then she would ever be able to explain. "What he say?" It couldnt be good. A part of me hoped it was tears of joy. Another part of me said "Dont be stupid." "Steph, they gave us another option, besides letting him live like this." I didnt say anything. "Hunny, i know you dont want to but if we pull.." I cut her off. "Can i spend the night with him?" No emotion in my face. "Sure, tomorrow then." She kissed my forehead and walked to her son. Kissed her two fingers and placed them on his nose. Id seen her do that many times growing up. She laft me then. With the most incredible guy i would ever know, and my bleeding heart. I walked over to him and climbed on the bed with him. "Hey Jordy-pop." I breathed through my tears. i layed down. i was so gentle not to hurt him. I actually waited for an awnser. When i didnt get one i spoke again. "Do you remember in second grade, and that boy, oh whats his name? oh yeah carter. Do you remember when he told you i was pretty and you cut his hair?" I laughed a little and stopped. "Jordan, the night you told me you were sick, i wanted to read you something." I slowling reached into my pocket and pulled out a peice of folded paper. "Im going to read it now, okay?" I looked at his unmoving body. Tears crashed on my arm. I unfolded the paper and started speaking again. "Jordan, I know we are bestfriends, but i cant help it, i am honestly in love with you." The tears were even worse now. I was sobbing uncontrolably. I touched his cheek. "I love you Jordan." I waited one more minute. No awnser. I layed my head down, and fell asleep. Before i fell into my fanticy world where he was okay, i kissed his lips and took his hand into mine. That was the most sleep ive ever gotton; the sleep of the dead.