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I Found You. I Loved You. And Now I Miss You.
She was at the beach the day she fell for him. Running on the soft warm sand not knowing what was coming. She collided into a boy with tanned skin, dark damp hair, and breathtaking emerald eyes. She thought this was all a dream. Her dark hair billowed in the light breeze tangling her saltwater drenched hair into wavy perfection. She looked at the boy as he stood up and held out his hand. She took it and was gently eased back onto her feet. Her legs shaking slightly she almost fell towards him. Looking into his eyes, she felt her heart ache in a way that was unimaginable. A thrilling ache, her heart racing but still fighting to keep beating. She couldn’t breathe. Those eyes. Those perfect, clear, sparkling eyes that stood out so perfectly against his dark brown hair. His hands were intertwined with hers looking directly into her dark, chocolate colored eyes. To her they were ordinary and unnoticeable. To him, they were mysterious, and fierce, yet gentle. She looked away, thinking that her staring at him was weird. After all, he was only a guy that she ran into right? But deep down, she knew he wasn’t just a guy. He was the guy that she wanted to be with. Needed to be with. But she was sure he didn’t feel the same. But in fact, he did. Suddenly he said,” I’m Ryan.” She looked at him incredulously. His deep, velvet voice still ringing in her ears.
Finally she gathered enough air to say, “I’m Nicole.” He smiled at her, his perfect movie star worthy smile. This was stupid, she thought. I just met him and I’m already falling for him. There was nothing for her to say anymore. She started to walk away, saddened by the thought that they couldn’t be any more than two clumsy people who just randomly bumped into each other. Suddenly she felt a hand softly touch her arm.
“Wait,” He said. He sounded eager, slightly nervous. She looked back at him as he said, “Do I know you from somewhere?” She shook her head slowly. Then he said, “Why don’t you take a walk with me?” She wanted to, but was hesitant to do so. A small voice inside her head spoke up. You love him. Yeah, you just met him. But there is a thing called love at first sight. And he loves you. Just look at the way he looks at you. Don’t be afraid. He sensed her hesitation and held out his hand. “Come on, just a little walk, I wanna get to know you.” Slowly, she took his hand and they started walking near the shoreline. The sun was starting to crawl back under the horizon but was still visible in the sky. They talked about endless things, from their childhood life to just life itself, from their favorite music to what they wanted to be when they grew up. Ryan wanted to be a football player, and he was well on his way. Nicole didn’t know what she wanted to be yet; she never really gave it much thought. But Ryan was confident that whatever she wanted to be, she would excel at it. After a few hours of endless talking it was finally time for them to depart. They exchanged numbers and parted ways also exchanging reassuring smiles. When Nicole got home, she realized something. Ryan understood her. He understood her like no one else could. But then a thought reached her mind. Her parents would never let her be with him. They never let her be with anybody. How could she tell Ryan they couldn’t be together? We could always keep it a secret she thought. She called Ryan telling him the problem. He said, “If it’s meant to be, it will be. And if it is, we’ll be together. It’ll be our little secret.” She smiled at his words, wishing she could see him again. They went to different schools, lived in different parts of town. There had to be some way to make things work. They talked for hours on end until it was midnight. At this point, she knew him better than she knew herself, everything started to fall into place. But if it was meant to be a secret, no one could know. NO ONE. The relationship continued in the most perfect ways possible with barely any conflicts. The relationship was solid, and still a secret. In times of loneliness, Ryan would go to her house, in the middle of the night, both of them talking until one of them fell asleep. And each night he stayed with her, when she woke up, he was already gone. The next summer Nicole and her family were going on a cruise, and coincidentally Ryan and his family were going on the same one. They continued to be with each other throughout the cruise, telling their families they simply met while in the pool. The two families let them be together as often as possible in hopes of keeping both of them occupied. Little did their families know that they spent their time either by the poolside or walking around the island they stopped at sharing perfect, romantic moments each day bringing them closer and closer together. The last night of the cruise also happened to be the exact day they met one year ago on the beach. Both of their families were in the casino or watching a show in the theater. Nicole was on her bed, lying down, just replaying the perfect moment one year ago when they first met. Then there was a knock on the door. She opened it and there he was. Standing outside her room smiling. They greeted each other with a passionate kiss and then walked inside the room. He sat her on the bed and told her to close her eyes. She did. Ryan placed a small red box in her hand. As she opened her eyes, she looked at him in confusion. What was this? She thought to herself. She opened the box to reveal a diamond ring that looked like it cost a fortune. She looked at him and he took the ring out of the box, placing it on her right middle finger saying, “This is a promise ring. I promise to be yours for all of eternity and beyond. I know what people would say about us. That we’re so young and so naïve, that we don’t know love the way other people do. But I know we do. I’ve never doubted us one bit. You are the one I want to be with forever. I love you.”
This brought tears to Nicole’s eyes as she said, “I love you.” They both felt a rush of relief knowing that they both loved each other.
Ryan took her hand and kissed the ring saying, “This is forever.” She knew she couldn’t wear the ring in front of her parents, but she’d find a way to wear it somehow. By the end of the cruise, they all parted ways driving home. A week later she hadn’t heard anything from Ryan at all. She ran up to her room after coming back from a shopping trip. She found a note on her pillow folded into a perfect square with her name on it. She opened it and it said:
Nicole,
You have no idea how hard it is to write this; but there is no other way to tell you this without it hurting both of us. By the time you read this note I would’ve already left. I’m moving away, far away from here. Please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be. Seeing you one last time would make this so much more painful. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Never forget that. I will come back for you some day. I’ll be thinking of you every day that I’m away from you. Try to forget about me. I want you to be happy, with or without me. I love you.
- Ryan
She read the note countless amounts of times trying to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She called him to find that the number was disconnected. She couldn’t breathe. He was gone. She would never see him again. After everything that happened through the past year, how could she possibly forget about him? She looked out at the stars, hoping that Ryan was looking at them with her. Wherever he was, she knew that he would come back for her. Or maybe not.
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This article has 24 comments.
Great but just a few suggestions.
1) When describing his eyes you used "perfect" a little too much. Try going for a more vivid adjective.
2) It's a little bit unrealistic for Ryan to say "I want to get to know you better" when they just met. Also the line about "It's our little secret." Instead of their first meeting, you might lenghthen it out for a few days before saying that.
3) The letter thing was really sweet. =+)
and 4) I can't stand heartbreaking romance!!!!!! I want to know more. You have got to write a sequel! I'll be looking for it. Great job. <><
Ah...the "love at first sight" plot. It was rather typical because of how they met - as an accident i.e. running into each other. But you did I pretty good job on the sensory details in the story. Like how you described how Nicole's hair "billowed in the light breeze tangling her saltwater drenched hair into wavy perfection". I was even able to visualize the image which is a very important factor for an author to consider. So, great job on that.
And also, you forgot a punctuation mark here and there - like in the sentence I italicized.
Other than the fact that there really weren't many surprises in the story, and the punctuations, I actually did enjoy reading it. For two reasons. One: I'm a sucker for a romantic plot. Two: You really had a way with how you pieced together the sentences.
-normgrl