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You Are Gravity
I saw him come in the room from the corner of my eye. I was sitting on the couch under a thick blanket. I had my knees tucked up close to my chest.
“Hi Trinity,” Clark said sitting beside me.
I thought I was done with him. I thought I was over him. I thought I had promised myself never to allow another abusive man into my life again. I guess I thought wrong when I realized my heart skipped a beat when I felt his presence next to me. “Hi Clark,” I said biting my lip.
“May I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” I said, feeling as though there was nothing left to lose.
“Why are you always there for me?”
“I’m your friend.” I said, knowing that wasn’t the most honest answer. The most honest answer would be more along the lines of ‘Well Clark, you see I’m a stupid idiot because I’ve fell for another abusive guy. But I’ll always be there for you because I love you. I’m even more stupid for that. Stop being so abusive. You’re so moody, and so infuriating, and you take your anger out on me. It’s all these emotions. I don’t know why I’ll always be there for you, but I love you. That’s what matters, right?’ I could’ve said that, but I figured saying that I’m his friend would suffice. After all, he did put up with a lot of my cr*p too.
“But you’re always there. I can’t emphasis that enough. You come running every chance you get. But I haven’t ever really returned the favor.”
He hadn’t. Well, not as much as I did for him. But he did actually. It was subtle. I didn’t need him to come running as much as he did. I always had to drive him away from his mom so he wouldn’t make the fight worse. But he didn’t realize that he was the reason I got rid of Nate Matthews. But now he was the one hurting me, though there wasn’t a bruise on my body. “You have. You’re the reason I am not with Nate anymore.” I told him.
“Okay. Well Trinity, you’re gravity.”
“Gravity is what keeps us down. That’s what you do for me. When I’m too stuck up in the air not worrying about how others feel, or what I’m doing to other people, then I’m acting like a middle school student and not a soon to be graduate you’re the one who pulls me down. You keep me grounded. You remind me what is right, and what is wrong. I don’t know why you put up with me. Especially when I fight you. Which seems to be often, because gravity works against us. Trinity, you are my gravity.”
“Clark, in an extremely odd and confusing way, that is quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. I’m bad at apologies because I can’t find a way to swallow my pride. I’m sorry Trinity. I’m sorry I treated you so terribly. I promise you from here on out, it won’t be like that anymore. I swear. I wish I never hurt you. You deserve better. But I don’t want to let you go, so I will become better, and I hope to God that I can be the best for you.”
“I don’t want to let you go either. I’ve tried to Clark, and I can’t.” I gave him a big hug. I was his gravity. Knowing that made me feel better. I smiled and breathed in his scent, it wouldn’t be the last time I would do so because gravity is always there.