I spotted the dove.

We had been together for 2 years and I had been utterly convinced that we were in love. He everything to me. I was completely myself when I was around him. I told him everything about my past. Not once did he turn away. I knew he loved me too.

We had many dates in those years. Carnivals, picnics, walks on the beach, dinners… You name them, we did them. The laughter, the romance… How would I live without him? He was my beam of sunshine. He even told me that he never felt truly happy until I came into his life. His mother even loved me. I felt at home. Finally.

On the second year I’ve known him, he told me straight up that he used to be in a gang. And that he still misses the “thrill” of choking a victim to his death. I didn’t want to believe it. So I chose not to. I’ve been in denial for a full year. I mean, besides that little dark cloud, he still completed me… Isn’t that what matters? For that full year my mother, my father, even my sisters… They all told me he was a dangerous man after I told them my story. I ignored them… They don’t know him the way I do.

On the same day of our 2 year anniversary, my friends and family provided an intervention. Even my pastor was there. Coming from the words of the same man who delivered speeches about Jesus, reality hit me. They were right. He was someone to be afraid of. Sure, he never did harm me… but I didn’t want to wait around long enough to find out.

***

5 years after our break up, I knew I couldn’t live in fear. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I went back to the park where I met him. I sat dazed on a bench. A friendly man came up. Introduced himself. Said his name was Charlie. He was single. He proposed a coffee date with him.

Was it time for me to move on? Was I ready to open my heart?

Then I saw the dove.

I asked him for his number.