Pulling My Heart Apart | Teen Ink

Pulling My Heart Apart

February 17, 2012
By Cortney.Lynn GOLD, Hughesville, Pennsylvania
Cortney.Lynn GOLD, Hughesville, Pennsylvania
19 articles 2 photos 12 comments

Who knew my best friend could cause a mess with my best relationship.

One summer day, when Myspace was the “in thing” I met this boy named Matt. He was friends with my best girlfriend and that’s how we came to becoming to talk. Then on one sunny summer day when I was in doors just to speak to him on the computer he asked me out. We thought we were in love and spent day after day talking on the computer. Our relationship never stepped out of the internet until school swung around. Then we had no choice but to see each other for the first time in person. We were everything we thought we were going to be and everyone would say “Aww you guys are so cute!”

One day he rode his bike all the way into town for me to hang out at a little fair. That day was the first day my mother saw him and her words were “Your dating him” She didn’t mean it as it sounded. That day I went home and sent him a message and broke up with him. He rode his bike all the way home to get the heart shattering message from me on the computer. Confused and unhappy with the news.

After that we didn’t talk much. Go figure, I mean what do you expect.

Then a merical happened, we became best friends. No that doesn’t even explain it, we became more then best friends. We become brother and sister, so close you would think we really were related. He was the only person I could even be my complete self around. The only person who understood me the most and knew exactly how I was feeling. He always had my back. He was the only boy in my life that I was close to.

That changed a year ago. I met this boy who completely swept me off my feet, yes just like the fairytales. We fell in deep love, fast. So quick I couldn’t even wrap my mind around it. He then became another boy in my life that meant the most to me and I was closer to then close.

Seems like a perfect story right? The best boyfriend and the best, best friend. That’s what I thought at first too, until things took a U turn right down jealousy lane.

The perfect boyfriend started hating how close I was with Matt. Understandable. I stop hugging Matt and hanging out with him outside of school. We still were close, but not as close as before. I understood that there is another boy in my life and that I have to respect his feelings and I love him and definitely don’t want to lose him. That was the hard part.

I didn’t want to lose my best friend either, I didn’t even want to change the tiniest bit of the way our friendship was. I started getting upset, then all Mitchel and I would do was fight. So I changed, not only did I change but I changed the way Matt and I were around each other. Matt didn’t like this.

He started getting mad and that broke my heart. Mitchel and him were friends. Now Mitchel complains to me about Matt and Matt complains to me about Mitchel.
I was stuck in the middle.
I was being pulled back and forth, them both having a hold of my heart and pulling with all their strength. Then one day they both pulled to hard and my heart split in half.

I felt like I couldn’t make them both happy. That I needed to give up one of them. But I couldn’t give up either. I loved them both.

Mitchel wishing I would end my friendship with Matt.

Matt wishing I would break up with Mitchel.

Both wishing I would stop being the sweet, can’t be mean girl and just stick up for myself for once.
So that’s what I did.

I had it set in my mind that theres no way in hell that I will lose them both. So I went to Mtichel and told him what had to be said.
“I will try not to be as close to Matt, but I will still be close with him. I will always be friends with him and if you ever ask me to stop being friends with him that will be the end of it.”

He was alright with that and accepted it.

Everything was fine after that, good relationship with him and we were deep in love again without any bickering and fighting. Matt was still my best friend but I tried to be less like we were.
He is still my best friend and he always will be. No one will ever come between us.
Mitchel is my true love and I will never lose him.
But if they both love me, they will both deal with each other. And they will both try to look out for me. They neither want to lose me as for I don’t want to lose them. But if they continue to hate each other and talk to me about stuff they dislike and start pulling my heart apart again.
Then my life will be over.


The author's comments:
This is based on a true story of what happened to me. When you are put into a posion where you have to pick between the two people you love the most you feel like you are going to die if you have to get rid of one of them. So don't give up anyone, if they really love you as much as they say. They wont put you in that situation.

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