Twice I forgave you and twice you broke not only my heart, but my mind, body, and spirit also. You gave me trust issues. I now have a wall built up that was never there before.

January 3rd, 2012 use to mean so much to me. It was one of the best days of my life. It was the day I met him, Duke. McDonald’s drive-thru was never a great place to be in my book, before that day anyway. I’ll never forget it.

Your driving, Dillon’s riding shot gun, I didn’t see him at first, until he yelled, ‘You still dating Larry?!’
‘No, Dill, I’m not, thank god.’
‘Good, you deserve better’
He pipe in, ‘You were dating Larry…? Really? How does that happen? Look at you.’
‘I was desperate hun, but thanks, I think.’

After work, I messaged Dillon, ‘Who was that guy with you tonight? I typed.
‘That’s my brother Duke, he’s cute isn’t he?’ Was Dillon’s response.
I couldn’t honestly disagree. Compared to the last two guys I had dated, he could have been a model.
Two Minutes later I had a strange number text me, it was him.
The next day, we hung out. Flirting really badly in Wal-Mart.
I took his hat, told him he had to earn it back.
He got it back quiet easily, He, out of nowhere, kissed me, taking my breath away. I dropped it.
Later that night, He told me a secret. He was in the Marines, and was leaving again soon. I wanted him to stay. We spent as much time together as we could over the next, and last, few days we had together. I started to fall.
He left.
April 11th 2012, a few days before my junior prom. Duke was my date. He came home on leave. I had never been so happy to see someone in my life. We knew we didn’t have much time again this time, four days actually. We made the most of it. Spending time together, going on dates. I thought you were just busy the first part of your visit, and the days when we didn’t see each other or talk, or when you were late for our dates. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one you were seeing this time. He name was Payton. I found from Dill. I was pissed, I loved him, he made me think that he loved me, why would he do something like this? We stopped talking. I hated him. I didn’t understand why he went to prom with me, if he were dating her? Why would he kiss me, take me out, act like he wanted me, tell me that he wanted me?
June 7th, 2012. He called me, apologizing for everything. He told me he was sorry for ever hurting me, and that it was one of the biggest mistake of his life. I listened, I was still mad. I told him it would take time, that he would have to prove to me that it wouldn’t happen again. Even though he was stationed in Cali, he called me every night, and would talk to me until he went to bed. I started to trust him again. He would tell me every detail of his day. It honestly started to annoy me. I didn’t need to know everything, just that I was the only. We weren’t together in body, but we were together in soul.
October 11th, 2012. He came home again on leave. I had no idea when he was coming home, I just knew it would be soon. I was at work, getting ice. They had me up on a latter and I hate heights. I had just gotten to the top and looked around, that’s when I saw him, I had never gotten off a latter so fast in my life. I was so happy; I ran up and hugged him. Everything was perfect, except for the fact I was crying in his arms in the lobby of a McDonald’s. The next day, I went out of town for the weekend, Senior picture time. I wished I had stayed. I was so happy to come back and be able to see him, and spend time with him again. Love isn’t fair when the Marine’s have the other half of you. The day he left, I spent as much time with him as I could. I cried when it was time for he to head to the Air Port, he held me as I did. I had never felt so broken in my life. My heart was breaking as I walked away from him. I cried the drive home, and the rest of the day, until the night, when I cried my self to sleep, wearing your hoodie.
November 1st, 2012. Dill came threw the drive thru, he asked me if I was still talking to Duke. Of course I was. I loved him. He told me to message him later. I did, he never wrote me back so I just waited until the next time I saw him. I bet you can’t guess where it was? Yup, McDonald’s drivThuru.
‘I don’t see why you guys let Duke play you.’ Dill said when I asked him what he needed to tell me from the other day.
I just looked at him, ‘What do you mean?’ I said confused.
‘Do you think you were the only one? That Duke has changed since April?’
I was heartbroken and pissed. ‘Who was it this time?’ I said with a heavy heart
‘Payton…’ Was all he could get before I stopped him.
That’s when I lost it; I couldn’t hold back the tears. I loved Duke, Duke said he cared about me, and loved me as well. Then why would he do this again? I asked my self repeatedly. I needed to know, so when I went on my break, I mustered up every ounce of courage as I possibly could and called him.
The Phone Call:
Ring. Ring. Ring. It seemed to ring for an hour. Finally he answered.
‘Hey cutie.’ He said with, what seemed like, joy in his voice, joy to see my name pop up on his phone.
I was holding back not only tears, but rage as well. I didn’t want to be mad if it wasn’t true. ‘Is there anything you should or want to tell me about when you were home this time?’ I choked out, not knowing if I was going to get the truth.
He was quiet for a few seconds. He knew that I had found out. I heard a door shut in the background. The other voices faded away, we were alone.
‘I’m so sorry Katelyn, I really am.’ Was all he said.
‘So it is true? You did sleep with someone else again this time?’ I said with a hint of anger in my voice, hiding the tears that were about to flow.
‘Yeah, I did. I’m so sorry… you know I think with the wrong head. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do, or what to say really. I know you hate me Kay, I deserve it…’
‘No Duke, I don’t hate you. I’ve just completely lost all respect for you as a person. I loved you, I trusted you. You know how hard it is for me to trust people, and I let my walls down for you, only to get re-paid with this crap again. I’m just done.’ I replied slowly and angrily.
‘I’m sorry Katelyn… so sorry. Please, please forgive me!’ He cried out, I could hear the tears coming.
‘Duke, no. I forgave you the first time, and look what happened? Why should I do it again?’ There was no emotion in my voice I was blank. ‘I need to go, my breaks over. Enjoy your life.’
‘I’m so sorry.. I hope you find someone who makes you truly happy. I really do, you deserve better than me.’ With that, the phone line went dead.
I spent the rest of my break and my night at work, fighting back the tears, tears of anger, tears of hurt, tears of my broken heart.
I learned the hard way to never trust someone like him. It took my heart being broke twice to realize this. Sometimes you forgive people just because you want them in your life, I guess that’s why I forgave him the first time. I truly loved him and he abused the power he had over me. Now I know better, don’t trust people after they hurt you once before. Pick your battles wisely and never gamble your heart.