Staring into the night as the crickets chirp, I think about everything that’s going on; church, school, my home. Do I even want to be home? Because right now, at this very moment, my mind is fixated, only on him. I picture him right beside me, holding my hand and telling me that “Everything will be ok, you just wait”; whatever that meant. As I sit on the back porch my mind drifts away into dreamland, not thinking about life neither my teenage problems, just about Logan Mayes. His pale, yet warm skin next to mine, and his soft pink lips pressed against my cheek. I’m running my fingers through his short chestnut hair; and he’s holding my hand, whispering….

“Dakota! My mother abruptly interrupted my state of mind, “It’s getting late, time to come inside.” she’s carrying my little brother who won’t stop crying! Ugh, how I hated being home! “Dakota I hope you finished all your homework and studied for your test on Monday. I don’t want you rushing to complete any homework this coming Sunday, remember, it’s your Fathers’ birthday; and, you really need to study for this test, I don’t want you to fail Mrs. Burns’ class, she already has mixed feeling about you”, she takes a pause “How hard can English possibly be?”

The problem with Mrs. Burns is that she never gave me a chance. From the first day I met that woman you would swear she had it out for me. She practically failed me the whole freshman year. I’ve just managed to get my grades up in her class, but you know that old hag always had to find a flaw. I can remember it like it was yesterday, mostly because, it was. On Wednesday night Logan, my secret boyfriend came over to hang out. We talked so much he ended up leaving at 3:00am. Thus, on Thursday morning I woke up extremely late, and guess who I had first period, Mrs. Burns. As soon as I walked into her classroom I was overwhelmed with negative energy. “How dare you walk into my classroom this late? Tardiness is unacceptable! Ms. Greene, how do you expect to accomplish your ambitions and goals when you can’t even get your priorities straight!” there was a dead silence. “Answer me!” the sound of her voice delivered a violent harangue, some of my peers jumped with fear, the windows even rattled in terror. She grew impatient but what was I supposed to say, “Answer me you insubordinate adolescent!” so I replied in the most respectful way. “Um, I don’t know?” “Of course you don’t know, how would I expect a 15 year-old girl with young parents who can’t even  get their priorities straight, much less their daughters.” She exclaimed, with such pride, such haughtiness. Oh how I despised that woman, and how dare she comment on my parents’ age. God bless her soul and help me to forgive her. Now you see why school is such a repulsive place.

But that’s enough about my antagonists’, and now about me, Dakota Greene. I’m 15 years-old in my sophomore year turning 16 in May. I have a boyfriend who’s 3 years older than me and hopefully going to college. We’ve been dating since last year, at the conclusion of my freshman year and his senior year. “Surprisingly” I’ve managed to keep it a secret from my clueless parents. Moreover, I’m very pretty, at least Logan thinks so; he says he loves looking into my hazel green eyes, grooming my long dark brown hair, and kissing my peach mellow cheeks. Oh how that boy has me in awe.

Buzz! Buzz!......Bizz! My phone rings, vibrating on the floor in my room so loudly I rush upstairs to see all the commotion. It’s a text message from my BFF Genie, “Heyy chicka ready to party! I’ll pick you up at 12:00, be ready to sneak out!! T.G.I.F.!” Thank god it was Friday, I was ready to party, let loose, and see my hunk of a boyfriend. ****

Buzz! Buzz! It was another text message from Genie, “I’m outside”. I climb out of my window, and manage to land my feet on the ground. I walked around the house, making no swift sudden footsteps, having no intention of waking anyone up. Approaching the front I made my way to Genie’s car. “Who’s ready to partay!” Genie shouted, and soon enough we were on the road to having a good time. ****

As we approached the party Genie dropped me off in front, and parked behind the house a few blocks back.  I walked through the door welcomed to loud music and a drink in my hand, I drank up, let loose and started to dance, however I did make sure not to drink too much. It was just common knowledge, if you drank too much the possibilities were limitless, leaving you oblivious of what was awaiting you in the morning. So when another drink was handed to me I knew I was good for the night. Dancing away and having the night of my life I turn around to see my love, he wraps his arms around me leaning in for a kiss. “I’m happy to see you mi Amor” I say, “Come, follow me” Logan lures me to a room where we can be private. Hoping to myself this wasn’t “the night”, I simply wasn’t ready. “We have to talk” he says to me, relieved I respond “About what?” “You’ll see” he says yelling into my ear, only because the blasting music was drowning him out.

When we got into the room we sat down and he began, “I’m leaving” “What do you mean?” I answered, bewildered. “Chris (Logan’s best friend) sent a producer our demo, and he wants us to come to California to record, if he likes what he hears we stay and work for his label.” I jump for joy, “Oh my gosh I’m so proud of you”, but yet disheartened because my boyfriend was leaving me. “What did your parents say?” I asked worriedly, he turned away from me as if hiding something. “I didn’t exactly tell them, but it’s not like they would care. They simply don’t take initiative anymore.” he said with self-pity.

“Oh, so what are you going to do?” I ask “Well, I’m still going to go, after all I am 19 now, besides I don’t need them anymore.” “So that just leaves me, I love you Logan” He walks over to me and takes my hand.

“Kota you see, It’s not just that I’m leaving, but I also want you to come with me!” there was dead silence for a moment, I was speechless. I wanted to tell him, there was no way I could ever leave, especially not at my age! “There’s no way my parents would let me.” “Parents, you can’t tell your parents! You have to come with me, don’t worry about your parents. Remember when we talked and you would tell me all the hell they put you through; how your mom doesn’t understand, and how your dad is always working.” I gulped. “Yeah, but…” “But what Dakota?” he cuts me off, and his tone was uneasy. I sat down overwhelmed, immersed in emotion, I try to grasp and untangle my feelings but they were all in a blob. He was right about all those things, but how could I just get up and leave? “Listen don’t get mad at me, you just dumped a huge decision in my hands, in which I can’t contain.” I responded with a little aggravation. “I know….I know, I’m sorry but I need you, you’re my number one girl.” That made me blush; he kissed me which made me feel a bit better. I think I was actually starting to consider it, the whole proposal. “So when do we leave?” I asked atheistically, “Sunday night”. My face was in complete shock, that was the day after tomorrow. “I know that’s soon but the boys found out yesterday, and I told them I would meet them there before Monday. I just had to bring my bowl of lucky charms or as Mrs. Burns says “my fellow talisman.” he continued, me silent. “Babe, its either you’re with me or against me.” Was that the case because I honestly didn’t feel like I had a choice, but I did love him. “Well, I have to go”, how could he be leaving me in a time like this.  He continued “I have to pack, but I’ll call you.” we kissed passionately for the last time because I knew this would be the last time I would ever see him…..of course until, Sunday night. ****

Three PM Saturday I awake in my bed? That’s weird; I guess I’m hung-over; I must have been falling and flailing everywhere because I had bruises and scratches all over. After thinking about the crazy night and my circumstances, I wrote a goodbye letter to my mom and dad explaining why I was leaving and apologizing. As I wrote that I would miss them, wet drops smudged the ink on the paper. Tears streamed down my face, I felt apprehensive but I knew what I had to do. I called Logan a little later and told him I was all in. Ecstatic, he began bolstering and encouraging my decision. ****

Sunday night. This was it! And I was ready.  Mom took me to church this morning and of course I was hesitant to go because I never felt like church was for me. How could God still love me and forgive me for all the crap I do. Anyway this time it was different, I felt like I was meant t to be there, something compelling my heart. Although the preacher had much to say he caught my attention when he said, “…stay and wait, be patient on the Lord, for the best is yet to come, all you have to do is trust in Him the almighty.” What if the preacher was talking to me, “stay and wait”; life wasn’t fair for me right now, but what if it got better, what if I just casted all my cares onto God and waited for the best to come?****

The night of my father’s party I tried to spend as much time with my family and friends, getting in all I could before I left, each time I hugged and kissed a person something inside me broke. I felt the guilt and agony getting deeper within; I cringed at the thought of what awaited me, maybe if the producer didn’t like what he heard I could come back. Logan had texted me, so I told my mom I was making an ice run so she wouldn’t wonder where I was going. I ran inside, changed into something more travel appropriate, got my bags and I was out. I met Logan outside my house in a cab heading to Grand Central Station. When we arrived at the train station I noticed that it was crowded not just with people but with officers patrolling the unit. “Come on we don’t want to miss the train! They are already boarding!” Logan says pulling me through a labyrinth of people, with twist and turns. “Good we’re on time.” These last minutes were the longest and most silent moments of my life. All I could do was think to myself, I can’t do this, but this is for Logan the love of my life. Unexpectedly there was a voice in my head that said, “I’m here now, I’ve always been here, you’ve just never acknowledged me, heed my instruction and make the right decision stay, don’t go.” Hopeless I responded, “I have to leave it’s for Logan.” But it answered, “Love is about caring for ones future and not savoring it for one’s benefit.” Was this my conscious, or was it God? But it was true why did I “have to go” with Logan, why did he “need” me, what about my future, I had dreams, I had ambitions. Why does he get to carry out his, but I don’t. And I if I stayed I would get the opportunity to do so. Did Logan even love me the way I loved him?

All these questions arose, “Tickets please” the ticket usher politely called. “Come on babe” Logan says optimistically as he pulled my hand forward, however when I wouldn’t budge he looked at me. “Come on!” he said and this time a little anxious. He kept tugging my arm harder and harder, it felt like a game of tug-a-war. “Dakota, what are you doing!” “No, no, I can’t go with you, I can’t go!” I shouted. “What! What do you mean you can’t go?” his voice now yelling at me, very rough, and most importantly his eyes, the way he looked at me with such resolution and anger. “Why do I have to come with you, do you even love me?” I cried. “Of course I love you Kota.” he replied. “You have to come with me, stop being so selfish!” Logan had pulled my arm so hard this time I fell to the ground. My eyes filled with water, so much it was practically blinding. Logan picked me up from the ground and I tried to push him off but he yanked my arm ferociously, and soon enough the police were surrounded. They tried to pry away Logan’s grip, and when they did, I realized the silver bracelets that were enclosed around my wrists. ****

At the police precinct I was brought into the holding area were a detective asked me numerous questions. Soon after the questions the detective notified me that Logan had been arrested not only for assault, but for kidnapping! I fell into a pit of confusion, my face felt very hot and I felt tears running down my cheeks; my stomach began to cramp up as if someone was stabbing me. “When your mother realized that you were gone for more than 2 hours to get ice she went to call you but found your letter instead. I guess she told your father, because my phone was ringing and we set out to every train station in the area to find you.” the detective explains. “But I wasn’t kidnapped?”  I cried, “Technically you were, Logan is 19 he’s considered an adult, and you’re only 15 which makes you a minor”. “So what happens now?” I asked impatiently, and when I did I wished I had never even asked. It just so happened that Logan had been working with criminals! Logan wasn’t taking me with him to California for his bands’ audition, but to sell me into a sex trade. In fact the detectives had been investigating the ring for years. They suspected two guys but never had enough evidence. Apparently, guys like Logan are paid to find hopeless and broken girls, treat them with love, compassion, and make them feel wanted; soon after their hooked the co-conspirators take the young “broad” on a vacation, only on this trip you never return. This was obviously preposterous, I thought this couldn’t be true, not my Logan. But it did kind of make sense, why was a senior so interested in a freshman? And I did tell Logan all my problems like a personal therapist, and he made me feel loved. However, would he really do that to me, ruin my life to boost his? What an ass! ****

It had been weeks since I saw Logan, and he was indeed a part of the whole corruption, faced with many charges against him. I went to trial were I testified against him, still feeling sorry for him, because he landed 15 years in prison. Soon after, things went back to normal, I went back to school and everyone felt empathetic towards me; even Mrs. Burns sympathized with me. My parents and I grew closer and church became my best friend. I dropped my childish ways, and matured. Logan didn’t just leave me with a broken heart, but also with a lesson. Before you begin a relationship with someone, make sure that the relationship with yourself is where it needs to be.