Dirty Laundry | Teen Ink

Dirty Laundry MAG

April 2, 2009
By Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
83 articles 0 photos 435 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's no fun if you're not insane, otherwise you grow up to be an accountant." -Moi

He is your world. He is the one you would live and die for. You love the color of his skin – different from yours – the perfect balance between light and dark, day and night. You love the way he tells you he loves you. He says he'll marry you someday.

But your mom does not approve. You wonder every day how anyone can be so bigoted. Has she not felt the way you do at some point in her life? She doesn't understand, just rants and raves about your “taste in men” in that nasally voice you hate – the one she only uses when she's angry.

Later you sit on your bed, and turn up the volume on your iPod. “All the Same” by the Sick Puppies blasts through the ear buds.

Wrong or right … black or white … if I close my eyes … it's all the same.

Your mom has forbidden you from seeing him again, and Dad's taken to keeping a shotgun in the living room.

In my life … the compromise … I'll close my eyes … it's all the same.

You remember telling him you were afraid but that you wouldn't stop seeing him. He asked you to run away with him, just drop everything and run, figure it out as you went. But you said you wanted to wait and see if it would blow over. The look in his eyes was sad, as if he knew your parents would never accept him.

You hop off your bed and start shoving clothes into an duffel bag, making a trip to the bathroom for your toothbrush. You head to your desk and stare blankly at a piece of paper, pencil in hand. You write a quote that has been in your heart from the minute your parents told you that you were making a big mistake. It's short, but it's all you need to say.

You head down the hall to the laundry room. Your mom has piles of clothes on the floor, organized by color. You grab bits from every pile and toss them to the middle, creating a mound no longer separated into lights and darks.

Green, yellow, red, blue, black, white – all heaped into one huge pile. You lay your message on the top. It doesn't say who you're with or where you're going, but it wouldn't be hard to figure out.

“Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.”

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This article has 455 comments.

d.l.breaux said...
on Sep. 10 2011 at 3:05 am
d.l.breaux, New Iberia, Louisiana
0 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Good concept, needs some work. Take it out of the second person, you're not telling me what to do or predicting my future. That's what it sounds like you're trying to do. Take it into first person, and there you can add personal thoughts and feelings if you'd like, or put in third person limited. Also, in the beginning, make it more clear that this forbidden boyfriend/crush is of a different race. The wording is just a little odd, and it's not 100% obvious. Don't say it explicitly, just make me clear of what he looks like. Lastly, I don't think you need to tell the reader "It doesn't say who you're with or where you're going, but it won't be hard to figure out." Since you tell exactly what the note says, there's no need to describe what it says. By reading "Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color," your reader knows that the note "doesn't say who you're with or where you're going."

Overall, it's a fantastic piece. I love it. If I didn't love it, I wouldn't take time to give you my opinion. This piece just needs a little tweaking. 

Good luck! :)

on Sep. 8 2011 at 6:36 am
singinginthegardn GOLD, Cowell, Massachusetts
16 articles 2 photos 158 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~Anaïs Nin

This is so amazing!! I love the point of view <33 and the quote is breath-taking!! :)

on Sep. 1 2011 at 12:39 pm
dia.dreamer GOLD, Kochi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 145 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." - Michelangelo
"I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart: I am, I am, I am." - Sylvia Plath

blown away.

-tags as favourite-

-rates 5 stars-

I loved this. It was just too good. Deserves to be published in the printed mag. Never stop writing. :)

and check out my work. :P

on Aug. 27 2011 at 9:45 pm
Peace.Love.Skittles BRONZE, Tacoma, Washington
4 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving up doesn't always mean your weak. Sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go."

This was amazing!!!

-Duckie- GOLD said...
on Aug. 22 2011 at 9:16 pm
-Duckie- GOLD, West Fargo, North Dakota
18 articles 0 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your heart is a weapon the size of your fist. Keep fighting. Keep loving.

Fantastic! Good imagery, and to the point. I could understand the story you were telling, which was much appreciated. Keep up the good work!!!

on Aug. 20 2011 at 1:18 pm
Lola_Black GOLD, Harrison, Michigan
11 articles 2 photos 276 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've always been famous. It's just everybody's just now finding out." --Lady Gaga

Normally, I would tell you to watch it before you judge it, but that was dead on! The movies really are too cheesy. I loved the books, though. The movies did not do them justice.

. said...
on Aug. 20 2011 at 12:40 pm
I have never watched any of the movies in the Twilight series; from what I have heard from others, the movies seem too cheesy. I'm don't have anything against cheesy movies (I have actually enjoyed many myself) but Twilight is where I draw the line. If Twilight is considered as a chick flick, I am ashamed to be called a chick!

. said...
on Aug. 19 2011 at 9:03 pm
thats beautiful.

on Aug. 19 2011 at 7:55 pm
Gypsyrose7 BRONZE, Binghamton, New York
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments
I really like this. It makes a good point. Keep writing :)

on Aug. 19 2011 at 7:17 pm
Lola_Black GOLD, Harrison, Michigan
11 articles 2 photos 276 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've always been famous. It's just everybody's just now finding out." --Lady Gaga

So true. It would suck if this ended up like Twilight, completely ruined by the theaters.

on Aug. 19 2011 at 6:55 pm
I love this story! I would say that it is movie potential, but it's to awesome to be ruined by the theatres.

on Aug. 19 2011 at 12:39 pm
Lola_Black GOLD, Harrison, Michigan
11 articles 2 photos 276 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I've always been famous. It's just everybody's just now finding out." --Lady Gaga

I love the last sentence! But, I don't agree with the messege behind the rest of the story. Seriously, I have a best friend who has wanted to run away with every loser boyfriend she has had, and every guy she has dated treated her like dirt. My only suggestion is to really reinforce the idea that this guy is what is best for the main character. But aside from that, I like it ♥

on Aug. 19 2011 at 8:38 am
consumedbygrace247 BRONZE, Durham, North Carolina
4 articles 2 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Change the way people think, and things will never be the same." -Steve Biko (South African civil rights martyr)

I love the last sentence, its brings the entire thing together, wonderful!

on Aug. 10 2011 at 3:39 pm
writergirl2 BRONZE, Gaines, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The Constitution gives people the right to pursue happiness...you have to catch it yourself."
(Benjamin Franklin)

That last sentence ties it all together so well! Very good

on Jul. 28 2011 at 11:36 pm
KayleeRae PLATINUM, Arvada, Colorado
34 articles 49 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Either write something worth doing or do something worth writing."

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Short and sweet... The way i like it!

a-punk BRONZE said...
on Jul. 28 2011 at 11:35 pm
a-punk BRONZE, New York, New York
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Oh my gosh, I really love this! Very relatable for me and some others...nice job :)

eMiLyP GOLD said...
on Jul. 28 2011 at 2:28 pm
eMiLyP GOLD, Jeannette, Pennsylvania
13 articles 6 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is short; speak your mind, say what ya wanna say, and do what ya wanna do (as long as you don't get caught!).

I love this! You did such a good job and I really love that quote! Nice work! : )

on Jul. 28 2011 at 12:21 pm
trampledsun_ BRONZE, Bristol, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whatever happens, happens. If you waste your time clinging to the past, your whole life will revolve around a figment of days gone by.

First of all, this is amazing. And I love that song.

on Jul. 28 2011 at 3:15 am
Alyssalicious BRONZE, Whittier, California
3 articles 13 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are one."
~JK Rowling

This is really, really good! You got straight to the point and I was able to relate to the character perfectly. Keep up your work! :D

on Jul. 17 2011 at 11:47 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
I loved the story! and was impressed! Great job! Perfection! :) (Sorry for the advertizing!) If any of u coulld read my two stories called the beast and nightstalker, that would be great! Also please post comments saying if u liked it or not. Thanks! And keep writing! :D