The Becoming of Tatsu | Teen Ink

The Becoming of Tatsu

February 21, 2019
By leah-sugita BRONZE, Norfolk, Nebraska
leah-sugita BRONZE, Norfolk, Nebraska
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

From the beginning I knew I was strange, but I never knew how strange. I lived a pretty ordinary life, I mean as ordinary was it could be for a girl without ears. My best friend, Clara and I would go running through the woods when we had tough days. Nature calmed me. Whenever I felt down or blue, going to the woods always cheered me up. One day we ran and ran, and found something that would change our lives forever.

“Lily Elizabeth Tate, you better be up and ready for school!” shouted my mom down the hall.

“I’ll be ready in a second!” I responded as I stared in the mirror. I have this birthmark that’s shaped like a dragon on my back. It is so mysterious that I can’t stop looking at it. I’ve always wondered if anyone else has a birthmark like mine?

“Young lady, where are you?”

“Coming!” I screamed as I ran to the living room,  in order to not get in trouble for being late. As we drive our normal route, I can’t help but think about my birthmark. It feels smooth against my shirt, almost like a snake’s scales. As we arrive at school, I’m lost in my own mind.

“A penny for your thoughts?” my mom was always saying this ever since Jack disappeared.

“Mom, I’m going to be late for school. I’ll see you later. Bye. Love you.”

“Love you, too” my mom said as her voice got lost in the stares and whispers. Now I’m no ordinary student, and most definitely don’t have ordinary days at school. Ever since I can remember I’ve been able to hear really well, and I excel in about everything. And I don’t mean your average perfect grades and athletic kid, I mean literally the perfect child. But when you’re really smart it’s almost funnier to pretend to be dumb. So, that’s the role I played in school. The freak that has no ears. The freak that ran her brother away. On most days I can channel the whispers out, but sometimes they’re all I can think about. They consume my brain until there is nothing left but memories of my brother and my dad. Jack Charles Tate Jr., named after my dad, Jack August Tate.

August fifth, the day my brother left, is etched into my brain forever. I remember waking up in the morning, and thinking that it was going to be the best day ever. However, the best day took a turn for the worst. It all happened so fast, I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I walked into his room, as I did every morning, and saw him packing his bags. “Are you going somewhere? Can I come with you?”

“Not now Lily.” He never used my real name unless I was in trouble. We had cute nicknames for each other. I called him Char, and he called me Beth, after our middle names.

“Oh, okay.” I left his room, and went into the kitchen to get some breakfast. My mom made bacon and eggs, Jack’s favorite. As I ate my breakfast, I saw my brother’s plate sit collecting dust. Jack never missed bacon and egg mornings, it was like his thing. I had finished my breakfast when I noticed that the house was oddly quiet, and my parents weren’t in the kitchen any more. In fact no one was even in the house. I ran from floor to floor checking ever room, and opening every door. No one was inside. So, I ran outside, and what I saw was something from my nightmares. My parents stood sobbing in the the driveway as Jack drove away without even looking back. I tried to run after him, but didn’t see the hole in the yard and fell. My parents rush to my side, “Lily. Lily. Lily…” As my vision clears, I see Miss Besey and my whole class standing over me. “What happened?”

“You fainted and hit your head, but you’re going to be okay,” Miss Besey assured me. Now not only was I the freak without ears or a brother, but I was the freak that fainted. How could this week get any worse? On the bus I sat in the front hoping to try and lessen the ridicule and whispering. However, sound of laughter filled the bus, as the news of my fainting spread. This was officially the worst day of the year. To top the embarrassment at school, this was the day my brother left, and the day my parents got divorced.

When I got off the bus I waited for Clara like we always did. “Hey, are you okay? I know this is a tough day for you.”

“Ya. Actually to be honest, it has been the worst day ever. I’m sure you have heard of what happened today.”

“I have. I’m sorry, but I know what will cheer you up?”

“A run through the woods!” we shouted in unison. We sprinted to my house to put our bags down, and then we’re off to the woods. We ran and ran and didn’t stop. This was the furthest we had ever gone from my house. I ran ahead of Clara, but got stopped short when I almost bashed my skull into a stone wall.

“Lil where’d you go?” Ava shouted from behind. I tried to answer her but my mouth formed no words. “Lil are you okay? Lily! Lily, I was so scared I thought you were hurt or something.” Just like that she stopped and looked up at the wall in front of us. “What is that?”

“A wall.”

“Lily, right now is not the time for your sarcasm.” I hadn’t ever tried to be witty. My mind was like the woods, a huge wall blocking my mind from my brain not allowing words to come out. “How long has this been here? Probably a good amount of time since it’s covered in moss and weeds. I wonder how far it runs? Lily? Lily!” Clara shouted as she shook me, trying to get me out of my ghastly mood.

“I’ve never seen this my whole entire life. Do you think that Jack is on the other side, and can’t get back home?”

“ Maybe, but..” without letting Clara finish, I started running along the wall trying to see how long it was. “Lil, stop we don’t know how long or how big the wall is we could be running for days. Maybe we could ask your mom about it? She might know something about it.” Noticing Clara’s body language I decided to give in to her reasoning, but I never gave up on the wall. When we got home it was nearing dark, and my mother was looking out the window. When she saw us walking out of the brush she threw the door open and ran to us. She threw her arms around us, and I could feel the tears falling from her face dampen my shirt. “You girls nearly scared me to death. Where have you been? You know you’re supposed to be home well before dark.”

“Sorry Mom. We got lost. It won’t happen again.” She hugged us one more time before letting us go inside. Clara decided she was going to stay over instead of walking to her house in the dark. As we got ready for bed, all I could think of was the wall, and what might be on the other side of it. Clara and I had been friends from birth. We lived next to each other, and always went to each other's houses or played in the woods. We’ve never disagreed or not seen eye to eye, yet I knew she thought I was crazy to think that Jack might be out there. “Look, Clara I know you think I’m crazy, but if Jack is out there I have to try and find him. Now, I would never put you in harms way or try and get you in trouble, but I need you to not tell my mom I left until the morning.”

“You want be to lie to your mom?”

“No you can tell her I left, but not until the morning so I can have time to find Jack.”

“Lily, you sound crazy. Jack left he’s gone. You saw what happened to your parents when he left. Do you really want that to happen again?”

“Don’t you talk about Jack. I know what happened but he’s my brother I have to find him, and bring him home.”

“Lily, he’s gone and he’s not coming home you have to realize that.”

“I thought that you were the one person that never saw me as crazy. You were the one that I trusted and counted one to always have my back, but I never thought that you were the one that would call me crazy.” With that I grabbed my bag, and headed back to the woods, not looking back. When I got out of view, I kneeled over and started bawling my eyes out. Clara and I had never had a fight before, but I couldn’t let that hurt my chances of finding Jack. When I got to the wall I could feel my heart racing in my chest, and something on my back was tingling, burning almost. As I felt where the burning was I realized it was my birthmark. So many thoughts swirled in my head. What was going on? I could hear the pattering feet of a mouse running through the grass. I could see an ant crawling over a rock, and I could feel the leaves swaying in the wind.

I woke up with the sun beating down on my face with no recollection of what happened last night. As I sat up I saw the destruction of a bulldozer. Trees knocked down all around me, and ground tore from the earth. What could cause such devastation and not lay a finger on me? “It’s you”

“Hello? Who’s there?”

“It’s you. You did this.”

“Who are you?” I said trying to steady my voice.

“I’m you. I’ve been with you since birth. Don’t be afraid it’s a part of you.”

“What what is a part of me?”

“Tatsu.”

“Tat-who?”

“Tatsu of courage. Embrace what is inside of you. I know you feel it. Now use that anger and sadness to transform into Tatsu.” Confusion swirled inside my head, but I could feel the anger of my brother leaving. The sadness of his absence, and of losing my only friend. The worry that my little brother, Oliver, would grow up without an older sibling like me. I felt my birthmark warming, and starting to tingle like when your foot falls asleep. I can feel my bones growing and elongating. My body morphing into Tatsu. The trees start to shrink, and the horizon grows. I can see the tops of houses, and the forest looks like an insignificant patch of grass. I turn towards the wall, and see the twinkle of street lights and the bustling cars in the city. Without an warning I shout, “I am Tatsu,” as if I’ve known my whole life that that is who I am. I was on top of the world, which only means it’s a ways down to fall. I heard something in the distance, “Lily. Lily, where are you?” My mom is calling my name looking for me. I have to go. Please, I’ll come back soon, but my mom is looking for me I can’t let her see the wall or Tatsu.

“Don’t forget Tatsu is you, it is inside of you, Lily Elizabeth Tate.” Just as I had turned into Tatsu, I returned to the ground. The trees grew, and the horizon shrunk. I was no longer Tatsu the courageous, but Lily Tate the lost. I followed the sound of my mother’s voice, and ran into her arms. “Lily, where have you been you had me worried sick. Don’t you ever do that again, Lily Tate.” I could feel the courage disperse throughout my body. Tatsu was inside of me. Yet, one question lingered, what is Tatsu?

At the time that we were returning home, I saw Clara running to meet us. I ran to her and jumped into her arms. “I’m so sorry for what I said.”

“I know. I’m sorry, too.” We stayed in each other’s arms for what seemed like years, but I couldn’t let her go again. That night I snuck out again. I just had to know what was Tatsu. I ran to the wall faster than I have before. I channeled my anger, and curiosity into Tatsu. Before I knew, I could see the house tops, and the twinkling street lights. “What is Tatsu? What am I?”

“You are Tatsu the courageous. You make up the circle of dragons. Tatsu, the courageous, Shenlong, the strong, Yinglong, of water,and Jiaolong, of earth.”

“I am a dragon?”

“Yes, you are the leader of the circle. Find the others, and start your quest.”

“How will I know who the others are?”

“Tatsu will show you where to go. Follow her lead, and you will find them.” As the last words were said I saw the sun beginning to rise. I saw the trees grow, and the horizon shrink. I ran home, and snuck to my room as I tried to see the others.

The next night I returned to the wall ready to find the others. I flew over the city in search for a feeling from Tatsu, as I secretly hoped that I would find Jack along the way. I saw the sun rise, and knew I had to return home. I made a promise to Tatsu, that night, that I would return each night to search for the others until I found them. I won’t quit until I am reunited with my brothers and sisters of the circle. As I looked over the city, before going home, I could feel a sense of longing to find the others. Tatsu had instilled in me a new sense of courage. I looked at the city and ferociously shouted, “I am Tatsu.”


The author's comments:

“The Becoming of Tatsu” is about a young girl who is half dragon, but hasn’t grown into it yet. Her brother left when she was younger, and her biggest her is her little brother not growing up with a big sibling like she did. One day her fear makes her inner dragon come out, and she discovers her true self.


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