Previosly: echo found out she is adopted. she is sealed off from the world overall and she and galaxy are no longer capable of being on good terms. frost of course is not on her list of favorite people, because even tho she saved her it was just for the pack. her phone is dead, and with it all communication with her parents. secret is now friendly with he but unclear where in the pack standing she is. not that she really wants to be 'friends' with secret of all people. Shes an owl... wlaker, i guess.

Echo dropped the phone in furious horror. that was her last tie to her family, her life, the world. she tried to run toward the town and slammed with force against an unseen barrier. what now? could unbound wolves get it charged? maybe. but why her? did she really have to lose everything for who knows what? and what exactly could she even bother to do now? she couldn't care less about the wolves, frost was dead to her, galaxy was on the other side of a border of hatred that neither could cross, and her parents were in another world. what exactly could she do now? was she really thinking about suicide? yes. it was only a thought. but she really had nothing to live for. and even if the wolves accepted her she still wasn't one of them. and as far as she was concerned they were all brainwashed slaves.

she stared immobility down at the phone, subconsciously noting that it was raining as tiny drops fell on the screen of the dead phone, though the sky was clear. everything she knew faded-, no, snapped out of view.

'I was there on the day that you were changed
You were scared and prepared for the heartbreak
Everything you knew faded out of view
Stole a piece of you*'

she was adopted, too, though it didn't matter.  she kinda wanted to know who her real parents were, but they didn't raise her, so she didn't really care. her parents were gone. her friends were gone. her world was gone. frost used to tell her thatif she lost everything else, she would always have her dreams. her dreams were gone. all she had was pain, and it was spilling into the rain falling on her phone during the clear sky. but it wasn't enough. she didn't know what to do with it all. she had never felt like this. before she was marked she was happy free and imaginative. when she was sentenced to die she didn't feel quite like this. but now she did. and what does a person do with so much pain and anger? she was hurting and she didn't know what do with it.

'If I could, oh, I would be a hero
Be the one who would take all the arrows
Save you from the pain, carry all the weight
But I know that you're brave*'

who was she anymore anyway? she had an identity before, but fear and so much else had stripped it away. she wasn't changing into anything, just losing herself. she felt like a flower on a little raft or leaf or something. plucked from her vine and pushed out, adrift. dropped into a river going to fast, and everything she saw, everything she loved was rapidly torn from sight. ahead, she didn't know. maybe a waterfall. and she was wilting. shrivled and confused and sad. and she was lost. what could she do about anything?

'Fight on, fighter
Don't let anyone steal your fire
Fight on, fighter
The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah*'

was there some crucial piece she was missing? something in her? did she need to get something? what if she just embraced the owl and let whatever its identity was be hers? was that just how to survive? abandon being human? what if frost had to face something similar and just let- no. never mind. but if she did just embrace being an owl or whatever, what would that do to her? espaically her humanity? would she just lock herself up and throw away the key? smother herself? was she smothering the owl part of herself? did it matter? it wasn't her. was she supposed to do either? was she actually harming either side? were there even sides?

'There's a part that you hold that you lock down
Let it breathe, give it wings, set it free now
Time to make ya walk, break the prison bars
Show them who you are*'

what if she just rebeled against the whole stupid system anyway? did she have a choice? should she fight it? she just felt so tired. she could deal with more heartbreak that the fight would create. and even if she did what wouldshe fight? the wolves? bing an owl? the wind? the moon? the lions? what about the divide between the lions and wolves, sun and moon? what if she fought the idea that they were enemys? should she just submit and do as she was told? but then who did she take orders from. she was reminded of frost asking a load of questions about her existence. were they so different? yes. that was a divide she would fight to keep, even tho it hurt. but being close to frost as not frost would hurt so much more.

'Fight on, fighter
Don't let anyone steal your fire
Fight on, fighter
The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah*'

what did it matter if she did fight? she was weak. she had unknown powers, but she was utterly at the mercy of circumstanceand surroundings. she was weak and powerless. she had been told that she was so strong, so unbeatable, so resiliant and undeterable before by frost. her frost, that was. but here she was. beaten. giving up. turning away from everything and not sure which way, if any, was right. and if she did know, she wouldnt pursue it. 

'Stronger than you than you ever thought
I know you're stronger
Braver than you were before
You know…*'

the black night sky, the phone, had many moons on it, little rain puddle reflections silvery in the clear day sky. another fell, and one hit her cheek, sliding down it.she reached down and picked it up. she sighed and switched to owl form, flying back to the wolf cave.

"there you are. so what role exactly do you play?" secret greeted her.

"i think I'm mainly just an advisor. I'm also supposed to do something with the magic stuffand the wind." she sighed, landed, and returned to humn form. for once secet was tactful(or maybe just found it illogical to waste time discussing it) and didn't mention the tears on her face.

"ok. what do you need to do on the magic stuff?"

"i dont know."

"ok. do you want to move to a tree? or we can assign you a section of cave." oh, a private space all to herself!

"yeah, i should probly have a cave in case i need to do something that could explode a pup or something."

"ok. Country, you know the cavern near the cave? bring echo to it and let the wolves know she is not to be disturbed there." echo nodded, and accidentally ended up looking upside down behind her. she righted her head and switched into human form, finding it easier. she passed frost, conversing with zephyr, who was expressing sympathy at her fall in pack standing. odd. she should have been a hero for saving them. so what was she meant to do?dusk was just about to fall. she wrote a poem in her journal, not a regular habit but she didn't really know how else to express her feelings, just as she finished night feel, and a moon beam travelled in thru the caves directly to her, as if she were to follow it. 

the poem read:

What words are there when my all is lost?

When words are lost, when paint struck dumb.

What words are there if I'll be like frost?

When humanity is lost, when the world is numb.

What words are there when already i feel cost?

When home is lost, when joys end has come.

What words are there when pain can never be glossed?

When dreams are lost, when to misery i succumb. 

(*The song being quoted is Fight on Fighter by For King and Country, my favorite band)