I can’t move I am paralyzed. my lungs feel as though they are on fire and as i try to catch my breath I realize this will be the end. I stop fighting to gulp air. As I lay down in the cold case of the person I once was.

2 WEEKS PRIOR

It has been one whole year since the disease has ravished our community.no one knows how to fix it. Scientists all have been looking at symptoms for links to illness and where it came from. People of all ages are affected, but primarily the elderly.
Symptoms of the disease that we know of include hallucinations, feeling of being watched constantly, outbursts, vomiting blood, abdominal bleeding, seizures, difficulty breathing, and brown spots all over the body. if the disease doesn’t kill you, you will kill yourself. Religious people have speculated that demons are eating away at your soul. Scientists think it has something to do with prior mental and physical health problems that manifest differently.

they say that most people over the age of forty will have problems so I wasn’t really worried when i saw little brown spots on my skin I always had issues with psoriasis so i thought nothing of it, just put on my skin medication and moved on.  

i wasn’t worried about it until I went to the house where I babysit after school and I saw a bloody corpse hanging from the ceiling. I see that her body is completely covered with brown spots. 

She had the disease.  I think of all the signs I ignored. I called her husband telling him what happened he told me he was coming. I called 911 ten times but due to the world being in critical conditions no one answered. I hear a car and I can’t remember what happened next I might have passed out all I know is I am sitting in a room that looks like the hospital with an older pale woman.   

¨I am the biggest idiot of all time, thinking back I should have read the signs. Obviously, she had the disease  ¨, I say, holding back hot tears.

I look around in the white, cold room that had a stale moldy smell, figures the hospitals are constantly rotating people in and out of the rooms. looking down I saw blood all over my jacket and clothes.  

the pale woman in the white coat gave me a look of sympathy. normally that would make me angry, I had been running away from idiotic sympathy all my life 

The woman came up to me, she had a name tag and it said, Emily. ¨hi Marie, I am the psychiatrist and I was wondering if there were any signs you noticed from the woman you babysat the husband is being questioned as well and take a pen a number for an emergency contact “I walk to the desk and wrote down the number and address for my mother and older brother . walking back to the bed my legs felt heavy and sore. 

¨ Well I mean I know that she was vomiting I would walk into the kitchen and she would be throwing up.” I felt a sharp pain course through my stomach. 

“ do you think you might be infected?'' Emily said in a  hushed voice. 

“Maybe I don’t know I have these spots on my skin and I threw up yesterday and I have been having terrible stomach pain” I reply.

Emily is writing in her notebook 

“At the beginning of the appointment you said that you should have noticed the signs, what did you mean by that” Emily asked 

I don’t know where to start. I think back on looking for jobs all day and finding the right one as a nanny.  ¨ok so my family does not have a lot of money. My mom works until twelve AM  every day to provide for me and my older brother so I was thinking I could help out when I turned fifteen on march 4th¨. Emily is writing rapidly on a sheet of notebook paper. ¨i remember the day when everyone found out about the disease, my school was going crazy but I didn't think anything of it, because it said the disease mostly affected the elderly .¨   

Emily nodded her head.

I remember that day in the most vivid detail, my teacher saying that they don't know what is causing the disease or how to catch it and that we might go into lockdown.

¨so anyway I finally found a job working as a nanny for two kids a mom and dad.  ¨   

I remember the first day the butterflies in my stomach I was excited and nervous.  The dress I chose was pink and complimented my dark skin. I put my dark curly hair in a ponytail  ¨well anyways when I came in I saw the mother crying because she had to go to work and she couldn't finish making breakfast.¨ I don't know if that was some sort of sign. I remember the tall blond mother laying on the floor crying because she couldn't finish making breakfast. So I offered to finish making breakfast for her and she looked extremely grateful.

¨she had splotches on her back ¨ I exclaimed. How could I have missed it? I should have seen the signs. the memories come flooding in  ¨ she definitely had the disease. she would get mad at me to the point the veins in her neck were popping out of her neck for ridiculous reasons, I remember hearing someone laugh maniacally and screaming at the top of their lungs I was worried so I looked for the source of the screeching and I saw the mother in a dark room laughing like a maniac and screaming. I had to push it out of my mind, I needed the job, it paid well. My family could barely afford to keep the lights on. but the children weren’t showing signs of disease and the dad was rarely there ¨   I was now sobbing streams of snot and tears rolled down my face.  Emily handed me a tissue box.

Before I could get the tissue box I began heaving it felt like I was throwing up a lung. I look down and see the ruby-stained vomit all over the bedspread. I remember that being one of the symptoms of the disease.

Emily just stared blankly you would think she would get new sheets but she doesn't. ¨ Honey, I know this is tough but you gotta tell me everything¨  Emily remarked with mock sincerity.  

¨umm I just uhh threw up on myself though isn't that an uhh vital phase i remember it on the chart saying if the person throws up blood then that means --¨ i start to stumble over my words.

¨You're fine, you're in the hospital now, keep talking, tell me something I can use, how many of these symptoms did she have   ¨  she shouted, handing me the clipboard with a list of symptoms. 

It has been 1 year of dealing with the fatal illness with no answers of course she is upset I tell myself, but I feel unsafe.

¨i remember the mother taking her inhaler all the time  ¨ I was shaking. ¨she had hallucinations or at least I think so from the night in the darkroom.  she always looked pale and like she ran a marathon when she got home. ¨  i remembered her being sweaty and her hair looking drenched.  I feel like I might have caught it from her, every day for the past two weeks I swear someone was out to kill me and I had weird splotches on my arm. but I haven't had seizures. with the realization that I might have the illness, I felt sick like I might vomit again and I do. I vomit more blood than the first time. all of a sudden I can’t hold myself up like my weight is being pulled to the bed. I try to get up but I can’t.

Emily's face appears over me   ¨can you get up ¨ she asks annoyed

I nod my head no I start to cry but I am gasping for air trying to breathe the splotches on my arm start to bleed.

¨I am losing blood¨ I croak. but it is too late.   

I can’t move I am paralyzed. my lungs feel as though they are on fire and as I try to catch my breath. I realize this will be the end. I stop fighting to gulp air. as I lay down into the cold case of the person I once was.