killer, parts 1, 2, and 3 | Teen Ink

killer, parts 1, 2, and 3

October 3, 2009
By arElana PLATINUM, Fair Lawn, New Jersey
arElana PLATINUM, Fair Lawn, New Jersey
24 articles 0 photos 94 comments

I like to think that I would have actually been able to help if I hadn’t died. I like to believe that things would have ended up differently, better. But I know I would just have wimped out again. Isn't it ironic that I died only because I was too afraid to risk my life?
You know how people say that when you die, you float through a blue tunnel, well; it’s obviously not true because here I was, floating down a red tunnel. I don't mean red like what you usually see. I mean a brilliant bright red that made everything else seem so dull. I wondered of I was going to hell. Does killing someone make you automatically go to hell, even if it was to help the world... or even by accident? I hadn’t meant to kill Lorena, but she was trying to kill me. I didn't have a choice.
I didn’t think I was a cold blooded killer, but I was just slightly biased.
The tunnel became brighter, so bright I had to shield my eyes.
Then I was falling...

I was in a room of white mist. Or at least, I thought it was I room. I couldn’t be sure because I didn't see any walls. Maybe the land of white mist went on forever. Then Lorena stepped out of the mist. Her long red waves of hair cascaded down her shoulders, and her piercing green eyes were so intense, that she seemed like she was barely not killing me back. Maybe that was my punishment for killing her.
I didn't know what to say. What could you say to a friend who you killed by accident? My throat was dry, and I had trouble breathing. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and suddenly I was on the ground bowling.
"I'm so sorry. Oh, how could I do this to you?"
I was hysterical now, "I missed you so much, but I couldn't fight. I’m not brave like you. Why? Why?" I screamed.
My normally sleek black curls were tearing stained and dirty, and my white dress was turning grey from all the dust. That was probably what woke me up, pathetic as it sounded. My dress had cost a lot of money, and I didn’t have the heart to waste good money, even though I was dead.
Then suddenly it hit me. I was dead. I would never learn to drive a car, never have a boyfriend. I wouldn’t even see my friends and family again. I was dead.
I thought about the events that led to this.

I was only your average teenage girl. I was pretty, definitely, but not beautiful. I had curly black hair and bright green eyes. My skin was so pale it looked white. My friends said it made me look like a vampire. Little did they know how right they were.
It was on my twelfth birthday, when my life fell apart. I started to feel thirsty. I drank ate, did everything, but it wouldn’t go away. After a week, I was sick. After two weeks, I was dying. Then, I woke up.
No, I wasn’t dreaming, but I had fainted, at least, that's what I was told. I didn’t wake up until I felt a straw in my mouth. I drank the warm liquid, and immediately I felt better. There was a boy in front of me, holding the straw.
“You’re awake.” he said, “That's good.”
I moaned and tried to get up. The boy gently pushed me back down. “You're weak from loss of blood,” he continued, “Here, this will help.”
He pushed another straw into my mouth. I felt energy rush into my veins, and I sat up gingerly.
I looked at the mysterious boy who had saved my life. He had black wavy hair, and skin like mine, pale white. His face was, well, perfect. He had a square jaw, and a small nose. His face didn’t look real; it was like a perfect marble sculpture. Hen I looked at his eyes. They were a bright green, like mine. They seemed to see right through me, and made me nervous. I hoped my eyes didn’t have the same effect.
I didn’t know what to say to him, but luckily, he broke the ice. “My name is Delos.”
“I'm Iris.”
“Nice name.”
I started laughing, but laughter echoed strangely in the room or cavern or wherever I was. I stopped laughing. Why would Delos bring me here, and care for me for no reason. He had to have a purpose.
“Doles,” I said, before I could lose my nerve, “What do you want from me?”
He laughed. “You are not strong enough to get what I want. But you will learn, oh yes.”
“Learn what?”
“How to survive.”
“You're avoiding my question.”
He laughed again, “You don't understand what you are, and I will teach you. You can become invincible under me.”
“What am I?” I whispered, even though deep down inside, I knew the answer.
“Vampire,” he said, and I collapsed into a dead faint.

I woke up moaning. I had a nightmare, I didn’t remember what it was, but I woke up shivering in fright. Delos was once again standing over me, nursing me back to health.
“You are awake.” He said flatly. His green eyes were cold and harsh, evil eyes.
Suddenly, I had a thought, one that brought horror, and revulsion. “Delos,” I started, nervously, are you feeding me blood.”
He nodded
“Wh-where d-do you get it from?” I asked.
He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, his eyes were calm, kink, full of concern. “You don't want to know.” He answered gently
I nodded without protesting. I had a feeling I didn’t want to know.
He leaned in toward me. “What are you doing,” I asked quickly. My heart pounded, and I could barely get the works out.
“Checking your heartbeat.”
“Vampires have heartbeats?” I asked.
“Stupid stereotypes,” he muttered, “I hate how humans pretend they know so much about our type, when they treat us as myths. The only thing humans have right is that we need blood to survive.”
“Look Delos, I don't understand what you want with me.” I said. He didn’t seem like the type to help anyone, let alone me.
“I don't know either.” There was weakness in his eyes, weakness I couldn’t see before.
I wasn’t sure what I thought of Delos. He was very dangerous, that was obvious. But he didn’t seem cruel. I hoped he wasn’t cruel with all my heart. I had never had a crush before, but I was pretty sure that I was feeling one. For Delos. Even though he was a bloodthirsty vampire who wanted me for…something.
“Is this something you usually do, rescuing starved vampires?” I asked conversationally.
“No,” he started, and then looked into my eyes, then back down again. “Iris, I'm not a nice person. I am very mean, and you should stay away from me.”
“Okay,” I tested, and stood up, and stumbled towards the door.
Delos was a blur, as he crouched and sprang, knocking me down. I blinked and found him standing over me, one foot on my chest.
“Just because you should leave, doesn’t mean I'm going to let you.” He said calmly, and lifted his foot. He helped me back to my bed. “I'm sorry. I lost my temper. You are the only company I've had for a long time, and I didn’t want you to leave me. you can leave whenever you want.” He apologized.
But I knew he was lying. I was trapped with a crazy vampire, who I would never escape from.

The author's comments:
please comment and tell me this doesnt suck. i hope you like it cuz my family hates it

Similar Articles


This article has 9 comments.

Fizza SILVER said...
on Aug. 4 2011 at 1:38 am
Fizza SILVER, Raipur, Other
7 articles 2 photos 177 comments
where's the other part?

on Mar. 3 2011 at 2:50 pm
Thief_of_your_heart SILVER, Knox, Tennessee
7 articles 3 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
live long and rock on!

POST IT!!!!!!!! it great! ;)

on Jun. 22 2010 at 7:56 pm
Robsessed PLATINUM, McKinney, Texas
23 articles 1 photo 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I may be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

"Did you know 'I told you so' has a brother, Jacob?" she asked cutting me off. "His name is 'Shut the hell up.'" - Bella Swan, Breaking Dawn

i was confused at first because I thought the other post was part one, but then I realized you re-ordered it. Anyway, I didn't really understand the beginning or how it ties in with the story, but maybe that will be explained in future pieces. Also, you need to proof read or do spell-check because you have some typos and at times the wording sounds weird. The story and concept is really good though. I loved the part where she was like "Vampires have heartbeats?" that was so funny.  I hope there is more. Please check out some of my work. I've got chapter one of a vampire story that is part of a Twilight Continuation / Spin-off Pending Approval that you might be interested in when it gets approved.

on Feb. 25 2010 at 10:09 pm
arElana PLATINUM, Fair Lawn, New Jersey
24 articles 0 photos 94 comments
thanks :)

(i hate the 10 characters rule lol)

erika4964 said...
on Feb. 25 2010 at 6:04 pm
I don't really see anything to critize it was well written, you could picture the whole thing, and you got to the point in the story. So I believe you did pretty well.

on Dec. 4 2009 at 6:13 pm
arElana PLATINUM, Fair Lawn, New Jersey
24 articles 0 photos 94 comments
thanks. can anyone also rate it and give me constructional critisism, because i wasnt to learn to become even better

heartwriter said...
on Dec. 3 2009 at 8:51 pm
Yes post it!!!!!!!!!!!! It was written amazingly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Dec. 3 2009 at 5:55 pm
arElana PLATINUM, Fair Lawn, New Jersey
24 articles 0 photos 94 comments
thanks. its been 'pending approval for months. i actually almost finished the story, but i dont know if i should post it or not. can someone tell me what they think?

RLJoy DIAMOND said...
on Nov. 19 2009 at 7:04 pm
RLJoy DIAMOND, Glen Rock, New Jersey
56 articles 0 photos 86 comments
OMG this is so good!!!! im soo happy its finally posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!