Please help… I’ve lost my mind. I know I had it the other day, because I could finish that spreadsheet at work…but I can’t seem to locate it now. I’m not quite sure when I lost it-I just noticed it was missing when I closed my eyes last night. I couldn’t seem to be able to think of…well…anything. I’ve looked high and low for it. It isn’t under my bed, behind the sofa, or in the bathroom. I double and triple-checked for it inside the car, because at first I thought it could have fallen out in there when I was on my way home. But I haven’t had any luck.
I wonder if someone took it. Maybe it was that man at the post office who looked at me strangely. Or perhaps it was that lady down the hall with all of the books? There were plenty of people out and about when I went to the store to get more milk, but I can’t seem to figure out what they would want to do with my mind. Though now that I’ve thought about it, it was probably that funny little hazel-eyed girl who I see standing next to me in the mirror. She talks to me sometimes. She’s sly, that one- I know this because when I look away from the mirror, she isn’t there anymore. For now though, I have no proof. I’ll be sure and check on that one.
So you see, I’m trying to raise money to hire somebody to help me find my mind. It’s just that, since I went and lost it, I don’t know if I would be the best person to try and find it. I hope it’s safe when it’s returned to me… I wouldn’t want it to be harmed. I’ll accept any kind of donation, so long as it’s something somebody would accept in exchange for help. If you could just check your pockets for spare change, I’d be much obliged. I’m discovering that life is quite difficult to get through without a mind, and I’d really like mine back. Because, as it stands, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to leave this stand until I have a mind that will actually take me home. So please, I’ve lost my mind- will you help me?