The world was in chaos. It always was. The sky was filled with dark clouds that swirled into one another before letting a barrage of freezing rain onto the ground. The sound of guns could be heard from every direction. Many screams pierced the air from people that fled from the latest attack or from the fact that they were already wounded. There were even some still that cried out for loved ones that they had just lost or were about to lose. I was sure that I would be one of those people soon. I hoped not though.

I hid inside a closet keeping very still, barely breathing, heart racing. My father had told me to stay here. "If the enemy can't find you, you’ll be safe," he said to me before leaving the house to join in the fight against those that wished to hurt our people.

I was terrified. I wanted my father to stay with me, but he had left me alone again. I didn't want to lose him. He was all I really had left in this world. Nothing else here was worth anything anymore, but I needed to stay safe for him. I needed to be there for my dad. That’s what would help keep him from giving up his life in the fight, which he would. After everything that has happened to us both I wouldn’t be surprised, but he promised he would always be there for me ever since mom died.

My mother died when I was four. I always felt really bad because I could no longer remember the color of her hair, the color of her eyes, or even the sound of her voice. She was just a fuzzy memory to me and that fact makes my heart ache with guilt. But after her death everything in my life began to crumble down around my father and I.

Dad lost his job soon after because he couldn't focus with all of the grief that now filled his heart. He was always crying and talking to himself as if she could hear him and respond back. I sometimes wished that he really could see her and that she was still there with us, even though I knew that there was nothing there in the house with us.

My dad raised me alone in the god-forsaken town full of only hate and misery. Also to make matters worse we were evicted from the apartment building we lived in when I was six. This forced us to live wherever we could; in an abandoned building or in a back alley where no one would find us were normally the main choices for a temporary home.

We always moved around a lot to avoid confrontation with the authorities too. Father had to explain to me just why we always moved around because I wasn’t really the type of person who understood a lot of things. I always had my dad there to help me do thinks that I couldn’t do. I don’t know how to write or read because I never went to school. Our little family couldn’t afford that luxury.

Then one day when I was eleven the first shot of the war was made. A child had been killed dead in the middle of the road. My best, and only friend had been shot to the head when he was walking home from school. I cried a lot after that day and began to really distance myself from the world, the town I lived in, as well as the people in it. Everyone except my father though.

Whenever I was scared or angry I would close my eyes and see a beautiful world; the world that I always wished to live in. It was my world. No one was able to enter it and disturb me from this peaceful place.

Today, while I sat shivering in the closet with my knees pressed tightly against my chest I began to drift away from this pain stricken world again.

The world that I always discovered was always different. Each time I came here there was a new land to explore, or a mountain to climb, or even an ocean to swim in. Today, I entered into a very colorful world known only to those who came as UTOPIA. The first thing that I found was a grassy meadow that was a light shade of purple. This meadow was not the only thing that I saw though.

Wandering a little further from the meadow, I found an light green ocean that crashed onto a sandy yellow shore. Trees floated above the ocean their roots growing long enough that they actually touched the ocean creating ripples and splitting waves depending on how close the threes were to the water. Some of the roots though, could not reach the green water so they just dangled there in the open sky. A bright light shone from between the limbs of these gigantic trees and I guessed that that light was what held them above the water, but I didn’t really feel like actually figuring out if that was true or not. I had an entire world to explore and I had no clue how long I was going to stay here. It could be hours, days, weeks, months, or even more.

I walked to the edge of the ocean; my feet covered with sand, and waded in. The water came up to my knees when I stopped and looked at the many reflections in the water of different planets, trees, stars and clouds. There was a large planet with blue and green colors that was suspended in the sky that really caught my eye out of everything. There was a small moon that orbited this planet though and it reminded me of my home. The name of this planet echoed inside my mind and I was compelled to repeat it. "Earth," I said quietly looking at this new planet.

Something about this new planet intrigued me. I stood there watching it for a few minutes just thinking. It looked beautiful. The colors were similar to the colors from my own world before the war began. The crystal blue oceans of my home were now as black as oil and the once lush green of the land was now covered in ash, blood, fire, and the scattered bodies of the unnamed fallen citizens.

As I looked at this planet I wondered if people live there like they did in my world. If there were people that lived there on that far away planet, I was sure that they had it much better off then on my own. It looked a lot nicer then the place that I had come from. Much more color and a kind of light glow about it that made me wish that I did live there. That wish quickly grew, but I knew for a fact that it would never come true so I looked away.

I gave up on my wish and turned my back to that planet called Earth. Instead of thinking about what I could never have I began to explore this world that I had thought up. I moved down the edge of the ocean and began climbing over rocks that opened up to the ocean and the meadow. The high plateau stretched for miles to my left. I began to walk in that direction on the soft, sturdy rock that molded to the bases of my feet.

As I continued on that path I spied a river that cut though the rock and flowed into the ocean. I then looked in the direction that the river had come from and saw a forest. The trees stayed on top of the water of the river as the liquid rushed past the trunks. These trees looked quite content; their leaves a flourishing purple color with bright red veins crisscrossing through the plant’s trunk and thousand upon thousands of branches.

I wanted to explore the forest terribly now so I stepped to the edge of the plateau and grabbed on to one of the many branches. It pulsed with life under my fingertips as though it had water running through it, like blood in a body, which probably was the case. A smile formed on my face as I held onto the high branch letting my feet swing from the rocky edge. It supported my weight as I dangled on it. I slowly climbed down from the tall tree and actually stood up on the dark deep water.

It wasn't surprising to me that I could stand on the water. I could feel that this was one of the different structures that this world contained. Sometimes in the worlds that I create I am able to fly, or walk through objects like a ghost, and even sometimes walk on water. This was one of those times.

It was difficult to walk on moving water though. It always has been no matter what world I create because it was not only slippery, but never moving in the same direction as well. A few times here in Utopia, I lost my balance and ended up soaked in the end, but I really didn't care too much. I was too excited about what I would find here in this forest.

A few birds occasionally called out or swooped down toward me from the tops of the purple leafed trees. These birds here were different then the ones that I had seen in my home world. They were brilliantly colored and none were alike. They made me smile. None of the would come up to me all the way, but they would come pretty close so that I could gaze upon their majesty. They seemed to enjoy the attention I was paying them. They followed me and kept me company though out my trek through the watery forest.

When I made it to dry land the trees became even taller and closer together and they seemed different. No longer were the leaves purple, but still they were beautiful. Each one was changing colors as if the seasons were changing within seconds. Brilliant reds, yellows, and oranges were on the limbs of these trees. The sunlight shone through the leaves onto the dirt-covered ground. I held out my hands to try and catch the light but it continuously slipped though my fingers. Maybe that’s how it will always be for my kind. So close to the light, but never able to actually reach it.

Soon, the sunset and the light disappeared. The birds left me to go to sleep in their nests, wherever those were formed, and I was alone again in the darkness. But I wasn’t surrounded in darkness for long because lights started to rise from the ground. Multi colored lights bloomed and once they reached a certain height, that they chose, they hung and did not move. I looked around at these lights and reach out for them. When I touched one it flared brightly as if surprised and then dimmed back to its original state.

The lights wouldn't move but whenever they flared out it reminded me of a heart beating. Whenever one flared it seemed that the rest of them would answer back to it with their own small flares. The lights were all the company that I had right then and they flared as I spoke with them. They listened to me as I told them about where I came from. They responded in their own way but I couldn't understand. I didn't have to though. It was just nice to think that someone was listening to me and understood what I was saying, even if they couldn’t.

Sitting down, I leaned back against one of the trees just feeling the pulse that ran through it ever second. It was comforting to listen to. I closed my eyes and rested taking in the momentary peace of this place. There was no sound but the soft beating. Thump-thump-thump- BANG!

My eyes shot open and I was knocked out of that amazing world by a blast to the back of my head. The walls of the closet, which I sat in, were coming down around me. I jumped up and threw the door open to escape, but it didn’t help me at all. The floor underneath me gave away though and I fell through it to the first floor of the building where even more debris was falling around me. I crashed hard onto the ground and screamed before gripping at my leg. Standing up suddenly became a problem because I couldn't. My leg felt like it had been snapped in two, but I had to get moving or I wouldn't be able to escape.

I had to keep going. I had to find my dad. Dad, where was my dad? I called out for him over and over again, but no one came. No one ever comes for those that are going to die. Was I going to die here? I didn’t want to die here!

Tears streamed down my dust-covered face as I cried in pain trying to get free of the collapsing building around me. Breathing was becoming difficult as dust got caught in my lungs and the walls pressed against my back. I crawled and wriggled around trying to escape my fate, ignoring the searing pain that ran through my leg, still no matter what I did I appeared to be trapped here in this place. I laid my head down on the ground closed my eyes and cried even louder wanting to escape back into my little private world where the light was.

Wanting to be in some other world then this one. Any world where I could get help. Where I would be safe. A world where nothing bad would happen to me anymore. “Please,” I pleaded. “Please, take me away from here,” I yelled out to anyone that could hear. But still no one came for me. Not a soul from any world came to my aide and I wondered if any soul would have helped me. I doubted it.

The other worlds were good. They are always perfect. They are in the light and they wouldn’t help someone like me from an imperfect world full of anger and pain because my kind is fated to stay in the darkness where the light can’t reach us.