The Hall of Fenestella | Teen Ink

The Hall of Fenestella

December 8, 2011
By JakeDamon GOLD, Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania
JakeDamon GOLD, Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania
10 articles 4 photos 14 comments

I ascended the marble staircase with a sense of reverence in my step, careful not to blemish the untimely atmosphere with any unnecessary noise or stir. Each footfall was as precise and timed as a metronome, the sound faintly echoing off the narrow walls that surrounded me, every following step overlapping the third repeat of the one before. Keeping this rhythm gave the journey upwards a spirit of adventure; the resonant clicking of sole against stone resembled a drum role finale, and it spurred me on like an imaginary snake nipping at my heels.

The stairs levelled out in front of me, forming a large plateau as wide as a small house, and longer than any road or path travelled by man. I continued forward, taking in my surroundings but not losing pace. The walls andcellingg were adorned with every type of window ever created: an awe-inspiring smorgasbord of clear glass intended for peering  into the likes of other universes. Some were open, and some were locked. Some were broken completely with the weather and noises of that place leaking onto the floor below it. There were a great many that stood out because of their attractive colors and shapes, but these were the hardest to reach because of their inconvienient fixation to the high roof.

I knew the window I was looking for, and I scanned the lower walls closest to the floor for a sign of the familiar white stone opening that I unknowingly crawled through that fateful evening 13 years prior. Excitment built in my heart as I felt myself approaching the way home, away from this mad world that had kept me prisoner for so long.

Then everything went black.

It was then that I came to a halt, my tired legs buckling as I struggled to keep myself up. But I fell on my backside anyway, disorented by my lack of vision and bearings. My ears rang, and I smoothed my hair back waiting for something to happen. I lit my area with a flame on my index finger, swaying it to and fro like a candle, searching for the cause of the sudden blackout.  A long few minutes past and I regulated my heavy breathing, giving way to an eerie quiet that sent a chill down my spine. It was then that the luminescent purple light appeared as a speck about 300 yards down the dark corridor. I squinted, and noticed it was growing larger, as if it was coming towards me. I knew immediately who it was. I started, jumped to my feet with a speed I didn't know I had, and sped towards the light with a hatred I hadn't felt since Judastu took the life of my dearest companion . I summoned an unnatural amount of energy in the palm of my right hand, and it quavered slightly before taking the form of a brutish  longsword alive with blue lightning. I was determined to end his life.

It was Judastu, and he had come back for more.

The author's comments:
I actually wrote this excerpt as a book idea while in the Main Reading Room at the Library of Congress. I guess all of the literature surrounding me made for good inspiration! I haven't written in a while because of school, and I know it's rusty, but I thought it'd be good to hear what I needed brushing up on from the best critics I could ask for: you.

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This article has 5 comments.


JakeDamon GOLD said...
on Jun. 2 2012 at 2:18 pm
JakeDamon GOLD, Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania
10 articles 4 photos 14 comments
I would love to go further with the story...

Moonlitnight said...
on Dec. 18 2011 at 10:29 pm
i love that idea too. the work of creating the foundation for a story is really difficult. i really should try building backward...hmm...now i wanna start another story :P

JakeDamon GOLD said...
on Dec. 18 2011 at 3:17 pm
JakeDamon GOLD, Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania
10 articles 4 photos 14 comments
I'm not sure yet... This was just an excerpt for an imaginary novel. I really enjoy this concept (excerpts from nonexistent books) because it's like you're being plunged headfirst into the midst of a story, without having to spend the time building up to that point. That way if the idea is good, you can build on that excerpt, and work backwards and forwards from the middle and fill in the holes! You should try it...

on Dec. 12 2011 at 4:26 pm
KitKat125 SILVER, Somewhere, Indiana
9 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Always write first things uppermost in your heart." --Edgar Allen Poe

Rusty?! Are you kidding me? This was astounding! I would suggest proofreading, however ("andcellingg"). Other than that, my only complaint is it's too short! I would LOVE to read more! This idea has the potential to become a brilliant novel. Keep up the good work! (:

Moonlitnight said...
on Dec. 12 2011 at 12:47 pm
Wow. I love that. Your detail is incredible! Do you know if you're going to make it into a longer story??