Beginning Dust: Chapter 1 DiAnne | Teen Ink

Beginning Dust: Chapter 1 DiAnne

January 15, 2012
By JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin


I burst through the thicket, leaves, and sticks were knotted in my auburn hair. Blood oozed from my bare arms, and palms. My clothes were ragged from the twisted thorns, and the gnarled twigs that greedily grabbed for me. My face was bruised and most likely caked in blood from the branches banging into it.
Desperately I wanted…no, I dreamed of parents, soft warm beds, and only worrying about boys, or if my clothes matched. Realistically I have the common prison beds to sleep on, and worrying whether I’ve stayed in one place too long, and I have to eat prison food. Trust me as bad as that sounds, it’s a better situation than five years earlier. I’m not a criminal, my friend Tyler and I were just adopted by a seemingly generous man who happened to own a very small and forgotten prison.
Not having a choice… I stopped, my lungs were wailing for air, and it seemed as if I couldn’t take in enough. I dug my shoulder into a tree while my stomach twisted in agony. Curling around my belly, I cringed as bile burned through my throat.
“SNAP!” A twig protested under someone’s…or something’s weight. Immediately I stood up, and stumbled to my left, before I could even scream my back was smashed against a tree, and my breath was forced from my lungs. A black hooded figure stood over me clutching my neck with its cold bony hands.
Literally, it felt as if I were buried in cement. A strong breeze drifted through the trees blowing down the figure’s hood. When I saw its face I had a harder time trying to breathe. Purple veins were visible under its thin pale skin. He had a look to him that made me feel like I’ve seen him before. No matter how much I thought the words: ‘Go away,’ he never budged, when I added ‘please.’ He just bored into my soul harder with his soulless eyes.
“I’d stop trying sweets, wouldn’t want you to give in too quickly…that just wouldn’t be any fun.” He smirked; I tried to push against the cement barrier that kept me from fighting. I couldn’t, the cement would become heavier. Rather than just tiring myself out, I closed my eyes, and feigned giving up.
“Wise choice…” his voice blew like a harsh wind. A sudden wave of pain crashed upon me. “You won’t need this.” The cement was hauled off of me, but the pain continued to toss me around like a rough sea. I started to spasm like I was having a seizure. Then I realized it was something much worse. I felt air rush through my throat, and a high-pitched noise reverberated through my ears. I realized I was screaming.
This pain was a lot worse the pain I felt when I fell off a chain link fence twenty feet to a pack of three mammoth sized Rottweilers with foaming mouths’. As soon as I made contact with the asphalt half of my chest caved in. The only reason I’m alive today is because my best friend, Tyler was there to save me.
This time, however he won’t be here to save me, not that he could anyway. My world started to turn blacker and blurred around the edges, the moon and the stars started to waver. My vision tunneled to a point, from the thicket appeared a figure that I could barely make out to be…to my horror…my best friend. I shrieked out the most ear shattering scream/warning I have ever screamed in my fifteen years of existence. The world then collapsed on me.

To be continued…


The author's comments:
I have been working on this story since 6th grade (I'm now in 8th grade), there's more coming. This time I will finish it. Please read/comment/rate.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Feb. 18 2012 at 11:37 am
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

Okay thanks I'll keep that in mind!

on Feb. 17 2012 at 9:59 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 178 comments
This is super interesting. I also really like your style and form of writing. You have great word choice. My suggestions are to seperate the paragraphs a little more visually so it's easier for the reader-especially when you have dialogue or thoughts. Also, there was one part that really rubbed me the wrong way and didn't flow at all. The line, "Literally, it felt as if i were buried in cement," is SO out of character, i felt like i was reading something else. The way it sounded that way was the word "literally". It doesn't fit the personality of your speaker. Other than that, great job!