I ran out.

The coldest day of the year and I ran out.

The sky was gray and blank. Snow was carelessly sprinkled on the ground. Icy puddles coated the road.

And I ran.

The wind was sharp. Aggressive, it scratched at my face, tugging on my hair. I pulled my hat down, tucked my head in, and ran.
My hands were numb, frozen. I shoved them in my pockets and ran.

My breath puffed out of me in spastic shots, hanging in the air like icicles. My lungs seared with the frigid air rushing into them. My eyes watered and narrowed, shut against the harsh wind. Inside, I was frozen solid and my legs begged me to stop, but my feet obeyed my mind and kept running.

I tired down to a walk, but I still never stopped. Cars passed and I pinched my nails into my numb palms to keep myself from jumping into the road.

I kept going.

The trees around me stood dead and naked. Their exposed branches stabbed up at the bleak sky. Vulnerable to the cold they still stood strong.

I kept going.

I approached a clearing between the trees. A small opening led to a vast field. Frozen, gray, and huge. I slowed to a stop, my legs thanking me.

I stood in the clearing and looked.

The land reached on and on. Dipping down, rolling up, folding over itself. The trees lining its edge shrunk in the distance. It kept going. It kept going until it collided into the sky. Even then it fell over the side of the horizon and I knew it would keep going.

I closed my eyes and breathed in. I allowed the frigid air to seize me. It breathed over my face, slid down my neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps. It penetrated my thin coat, stabbing my skin underneath sharply. It soaked into me. Cutting into me, it flowed into my veins, mixing with my blood, flooding my body. From my toes to the crown of my head, I was perfectly numb, feeling nothing and everything.
“Hey, Little Sister, where you goin’?” My eyes shot open at the voice.

Spinning around I found a man standing a few steps away. Stunned, I blinked at his sudden appearance. I hadn’t heard anyone approach me.
“I said, where you goin’?” He repeated. His voice was smooth, slow. It sounded like warm honey, dripping down lazily, in sweet spirals.
“I-I don’t know,” my voice rasped.

I looked him over. He was neither young nor old; his skin neither fair nor dark. He wore no coat, just a simple white shirt. He seemed immune to the chill. His face was youthful, yet wizened. The corners of his thin lips gently tipped upwards. His hair was in long dreadlocks, whipping in the wind. His eyes were smiling at me, black and full of color.

“What d’ya mean, you don’t know? Everyone knows where they’re going,” he stated.

I pondered his question again. “Away, I suppose.”

He looked at me curiously. “Well, then Little Sister, what you runnin’ away from?”

“I’m not running away from anything,” I defended myself.

He laughed out loud. His laugh was warm, sunny. It sounded like a summer breeze, lazy and comforting as it flows over a stream.
“Now, I know you ain’t runnin’ from nothin’, Little Sister. Anyone who is going away is running from somethin’. You runnin’ from a past, aren’t ya?” He said it more as a statement than a question.

“A past...” I echoed his words.

“You runnin’ from a life. A life you don’ want no more. You runnin’ from people that hurt you, people you hurt. You runnin’ away to find something, ain’t ya?”

I didn’t respond, his words melting into my mind.

“I-I don’t know what I’m looking for though,” I started, hesitantly.

“Well, now we are gettin’ somewhere ain’t we!” He clapped his hands.

I looked at him, confused. “I don’t know where I’m getting--”

“Exactly. Now, first things first, did you say goodbye?”

“Goodbye?”

“Yes, goodbye! Little Sister, dontchu know anythin’? You gotta say goodbye before you leave!”

“Who would I say goodbye to?”

“Shoo, I don know. How ‘bout a tree? Best things to say goodbye to. Them things will stick around forever waiting for ya. They’ll be in the same place you left them when you get back. Lemme tell you, I’ve said goodbye to plenty of trees when I’ve left, and they’ve always been there where I come back to say hullo!”

I stared at him. “A tree?”

“Damn straight. Here, take this one,” he gestured to a tall oak tree beside him. Its trunk was wide and thick, rough bark hugged its sides tightly. It stood taller than all the trees around it, stretching up the closest to the bleak clouds. “He’s a trusty one, bet he’s been around for ages. He ain’t goin’ anywhere anytime soon. Say goodbye to him.” He patted the tree as if it was an old friend of his.
“You want me to say goodbye to a . . .tree?” I asked him, silently questioning his sanity.

“Gotta say it to someone, Little Sister. Now, go ahead, say it to him.” He stared at me, waiting for me to say it.

When I didn’t move he impatiently said “Well, don’ just stand there. You got places to be. C’mon now, don’ be shy, he ain’t gon’ bite.”

I hesitantly walked up to the tree. Glancing at the man, he nodded encouraging. Shaking my head slightly I faced the tree. Its bark stared back at me. “Um, goodbye?”

“Aw, no! That ain’t no proper goodbye. Sheesh, Little Sister, don’ you know how to give a goodbye?” he sighed. “Repeat after me now.”

“But I-”

Ignoring me, he cleared his throat and spoke. “Goodbye ol’ friend,” he started, nudging me to echo him.

“Erm, goodbye old friend,” I muttered.

“I am leavin’ soon, but don’ you worry,”

“I’m leaving soon, but don’t worry,”

“If I come back I’ll be sure to visit you and tell you all about it.”

“If I come back I’ll be sure to visit and tell you all about it--wait. If I come back? I’m not coming back?” I asked him.

He shrugged. “Shoo, I don’ know, Little Sister. You may, you may not. You never know.”

“But. . .where am I going?”

“I can’t tell you that, Little Sister. That’s for you to find out. Truth is, I know as little as you do about where you goin’. You gotta get there, and when you get there, you’ll know. But, hey, I’ll meet you there when you get there.”

I looked out at the horizon where a deep red had begun to burn the land’s edge. Staining the gray sky like watercolors on a canvas, the bright pigmented light grasped onto the wan sky. Like burning embers the light grew and grew until a blazing fire danced across the sky.
“A sunrise...” I whispered.

I closed my eyes as the beams of radiance embraced me. It enveloped me, conquering the chill inside me. The warmth drenched me, merging into my veins as the cold had. Like a river it rapidly flooded through my body, thawing out my core. I opened my eyes, staring right into the blazing light.

I knew where I was going. Or at least how to get there. My final destination was still a mystery.

I turned to thank the man, but there was no man there.

There hadn’t been a man there.

“Thank you,” I said to the man that hadn’t been there and started to walk towards the breaking dawn.

Where did I end up? I’ll let you know when I get there so you can tell the tree.

Until then, I’ll keep going.

And going.