Her Inevitable Identity | Teen Ink

Her Inevitable Identity

December 11, 2014
By lizrybacki SILVER, Franklin, Wisconsin
lizrybacki SILVER, Franklin, Wisconsin
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

A lot changed after the truth was released. For centuries, people were living to rule, populate, and gain predominance. They were told that, before they died, they must contribute to the world. It was almost a force of nature to become relevant in society. Everyone worked, everyone produced offspring, and, still, everyone wanted to be more than a placeholder in time. It’s unfamiliar to think that six generations lived in such a way. I’m glad that concept is foreign now. Knowing that there is no purpose except to supply inhabitants of the human race is much more satisfying. Every year, the city enforces our disbelief in traditional social systems. For us, it’s an anniversary of realization. Today, I will finally have all my questions answered; in regards to purpose, that is. This year at the annual Launch, I will be one of the Reassured at last.
.....
The Launch buzzes with emotion. It is nearing that time of year when we all gather to remind ourselves what we are here for; nullity. From the outside, the simplicity of the Launch seems unappealing. But, to us, it’s the beginning of our sanity. Exactly four hundred years ago, Dr. Neo Tice spoke the forbidden words of existence; he spoke the truth. We all have it memorized down to his closing statement.

“I am here to reveal the truth and only the truth. We have all been wrong. For ages, we
have felt obligated to achieve greatness; to become greatness. It is clear now, in spite of our city’s recent rebellion, that greatness is not our purpose. Our purpose is to become nothing. We are to achieve nullity; to become nullity. We are naught.”

Dr. Tice’s last two phrases are our motto now. They’re even engraved on the walls of our homesteads, on the sphere, and, most notably, our souls. Every night, the speaker recites his words. We follow along in harmony, whispering “We are to achieve nullity; to become nullity. We are naught”. Long ago, mottos used to be chanted. But, now, we whisper ours under our breath. It’s because of the outbreak. And from that day on, we have lived up to our worthlessness. Today is no exception.
.....
It’s nearly dusk. Soon, the Launch will be open to the public. Soon, I will be registered as a Reassured. That is, if I prove to be my usual barren self. I’m not sure why, but today I feel different. And it’s not like I can talk to Sawyer about any of this. He’s far too busy with the annual preparations. So, like I often times do, I head to the forest for a brief visit with the trees. I trust them more than Sawyer anyways.
.....
It is not long before the sun disappears from the sky. After nearly an hour with the trees, I head back to the Launch. I can see the Launch in the distance, releasing a surrealistic, glowing light. I plan on finding Sawyer when I get closer. I send him a message.

“Meet by the sphere?”

Now, I am only a half mile away. Everyone looks so darn happy, enthused to be part of the city. It’s beautiful to see. If only I felt that way too.

My phone buzzes. Sawyer must have answered.

“I’m waiting for you.”

.....
The Launch is crowded. Millions of people surround me. Yet, still, the only person prominent enough to feel is Sawyer.

Trying to start some kind of conversation, I nudge him and whisper, “Do you see that woman in the navy and brown over there? To your right, with the curly black hair?”

Usually he would make some comment in regards to her lack of fashion sense, but tonight he whispers back, “Piper, not now; not here.”

It shocks me at first. We walk to our assigned bench. When we sit, I can tell Sawyer has something on his mind. He’s even wearing grey. He never wears grey. We sit in silence for a few minutes. He nudges me.

Turning in his direction, I notice a flare in his eyes. Before he begins to speak, I know what he is going to say. “It’s time.”

They warned us, you know, about those two words, and how important they are. But the way Sawyer lets them gently slip out of his mouth makes me uncertain. I stand anyways, following his lead to the east entrance of the Launch. Amidst the quake of movement, the speaker hums. Everyone pauses to recite the truth in entirety. My voice stumbles at first, nearly forgetting the first line. But somehow I remember; somehow everyone always remembers.

“I am here to reveal the truth and only the truth.”

I just barely notice that Sawyer’s lips aren’t moving. He’s not reciting the truth.

Looking down at my hands, I make subtle note of his unusual actions. As the truth comes to a close, the speaker hums again. The crowd silences as those becoming a Reassured this year continue to descend from the rest. We begin forming a line facing the audience. Sawyer stands to my right. I don’t recognize the girl to my left.

The ceremony begins with the wise words of Weber Tice, our current prophet. While he rambles about the purpose behind having no purpose, my eyes shift to the crowd. Everyone is still; their bodies move slightly with each breath. They look fascinated by Tice. It’s slightly captivating, in a sense, seeing all these people in a controlling trance. Refocusing, I blink. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sawyer doing the same. Instantly, we make indirect eye contact. His hand brushes against mine. Soon, I am in his strong grasp. I do not realize that I am walking in his midst until we reach the podium.

Sawyer slams his other hand on microphone, making the speakers release an irritating scratch. Then, we run. We run to the trees.

.....

I had never used my blade to do anything but carve thoughts into treebark. Never before had I thought about inflicting anguish upon another person, especially Sawyer. But that changed. He didn’t mind. In fact, he insisted. At first, I was hesitant. I was used to etching tallies into the trees, not his skin.That changed too. And, now, I realize that there was one reason that he ran with me. He knew I couldn’t resist the trees’ calls. He knew I couldn’t resist him. I have identified my purpose to be far more than nullity. I am alive to etch my mark into all living things. So that I must do. Now, I can’t stop embroidering the trees, the sky, or his skin. I will never stop, even when the trees have left, the sky has left, and he has left. Even when I have no one left but myself.



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