The green men came early in the morning. Of course, most people were asleep, but Max saw it. He was on the toilet, after a night of partying too hard. But when the green things and their flying saucers arrived, he saw them with his very own eyes. They were only around our feet tall, with four very long arms and three pairs of eye stalks. At that time, he thought he was hallucinating and attributed the image to too much drink. Max finished his business and crawled back into bed, somewhat confused by the images he saw. Before he dropped back to sleep, he heard beeping sounds and the roar of engines overhead. Sighing, he closed his eyes and blocked his ears.

In the morning, everything seemed fine. “Must have been hallucinations…” Max muttered to himself. Frying some bacon and making some coffee for his breakfast, Max still seemed half asleep. But when he turned on the TV to look at some news, he was instantly wide awake. What he saw at dawn were not hallucinations. They seemed to have landed all over Earth. At a press conference, the President and one of the green things were busy discussing matters. “We come in peace” it said. “We mean no harm and are just here to observe the planet. In the mean time, we will be passing out free cookies”. Grunting, Max snapped off the TV and went back to sipping coffee. It was far beyond his current train of thought why the aliens would want to visit Earth. He just wanted some of those free cookies. As everyone knows, nothing is better than free food.

At first, everything seemed alright. The green things immediately ended all wars by blasting the warring countries with laser death rays, so there was no more violence. Everyone had free food and money, and the aliens guaranteed all crime was non-existent by simply shooting all criminals with lasers on the spot. But Max felt something wasn’t right. The aliens had to have some purpose in coming to Earth right? More and more flying saucers started to appear. The green things didn’t seem hostile, but they seemed to become busier. They constantly flew around in the air, and you could hear the beeping of loud noises and shouts. For a week, this kept on happening. Max knew deep in his gut that the aliens were going to do something, but he had absolutely no idea what. It just seemed to be pointless. But then, one day, something finally happened.

A week after the miraculous landing of the aliens, Max woke up and realized two things: He forgot to turn off the heater last night so his house was really, really warm. And secondly, there were no trees outside. He gasped, and then staggered to the window. Every single little bit of green and plant life was simply removed from the landscape, like it had never been there. This time, he was sure it was a dream. But sadly, it wasn’t. And the aliens didn’t stop there. Over the next few days, entire oceans, rivers, lakes, and mountains disappeared. Antarctica was cut up into convenient travel size blocks of ice and shipped away. The whole world was outraged, but there wasn’t much they could do when their enemies were the one with the lasers. From then on, the aliens cut off all contact with the remaining humans, and instead resumed harvesting everything. It appeared they green things didn’t care how many humans died, just as long as they finished their work.

At last, everything was sucked away. The forests, the rivers, even the clouds. Finally, they started taking away the atmosphere. As the sun’s rays landed on Earth and the oxygen level decreased, humans died by the hordes. At last, the green things gave their explanation: “We are resource hunters from the Planet Bagool. Our planet’s economy is based off selling natural resources to other planets. We are very sorry that we need to consume Earth, but it was the only one in the vicinity that had anything work taking”. As Max stumbled over and collapsed to the ground, finally dying from the lack of oxygen, the last thing he heard was an alien talking from a loudspeaker: “We are very sorry you humans had to die, but we prefer your extinction to the loss of our jobs”.