The Ice | TeenInk

The Ice

January 15, 2009
By Anonymous

Hi-yah! I am Bob the potato ninja. I live in Canada. Right now I am at war with the dreaded shovels. If they catch you, they will bake you in an oven until you’re dead. They captured one of my friends, Barney, and I never heard from him since. Then just recently when I knocked out a shovel I saw that he had something of Barney’s in his backpack. It was his shoe. That meant that they had killed Barney. Then I got very mad. I got so mad that I threw the unconscious shovel of a cliff and let him die. Then I went back to my cave and started making weapons to attack the shovels. I made daggers, swords, grenades, arrows, and rifles. After that I snuck through the woods to the outskirts of the shovel base. It looked like a castle with machine guns everywhere. There was the smell of burning potatoes hanging in the air. Along with the smell came the sounds of dozens of buzzards circling the castle, waiting for food scrapes to be discarded out somewhere. I started sliding on my stomach towards the entrance. The ground felt hard and bumpy, making it almost impossible to slide across it without being noticed. As I got closer to the entrance, I could hear the guards talking to each other.
“Can’t wait till supper, since we caught that big fella this morning. Right Bill?”
“Yea, that sucker was big!” Bill agreed. Those sick shovels. How could they just eat the poor dude? Suddenly my eyes started to feel like soggy pieces of cereal as I thought of that at poor potato. Then I made a decision. I would rescue the big fella, and then blow up the castle. So I crept behind the two guards. When they both turned around, I stood up and judo-chopped them both.
“Ouch!” one of the guards said.

“Suck it up,” I whispered to him. Then he fell unconscious. As I proceeded down a long corridor, I heard the distant screams of what might have been the man I was trying to rescue. Finally I got to the end and saw a Potato restrained to a wall. Those two guards were right, he did look fat. I also saw an oven behind him though, which meant that I better hurry up. When I walked in, a shovel caught me off guard and jumped in front of me. I pushed him towards the tied up potato because I couldn’t think of anything else to do. He tripped on something sticking out of the ground and fell in the hot oven, and died.

“So what’s your name?” I asked to the potato while I was untying his restraints.

“My name is Fred, and thanks for rescuing me.

“No problem,” I said while putting a C-4 on the wall to blow up the building. “Now lets get out of here.” We ran back down the corridor and out the entrance. When we got to the outside, I heard an explosion from inside. I looked up and saw a huge fireball were the castle use to be. I could feel the heat of it against my rough skin. And we ran into the woods and lived happily ever after.

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This article has 13 comments.

on Dec. 19 2011 at 4:39 pm
U2_Fanatic GOLD, Westbury, Other
19 articles 0 photos 18 comments
I'm afraid of shovels now.

on May. 17 2011 at 9:45 am
scarlite BRONZE, Monahans, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if youll live forever, live as if youll die to day.

that was prity cool.i give you 4 stars this was one of the best  things i've read. you could make it far i the athour world. ;)

yourmom said...
on Apr. 25 2011 at 11:20 am

replace the c with a H


yourmom said...
on Apr. 25 2011 at 11:19 am
replace the c in corney with a H haha

on Apr. 14 2011 at 6:59 pm
theartgeek97 SILVER, Greenville, South Carolina
6 articles 3 photos 40 comments
Wow...somebody was bored! lol, but who am I to critisize.  I was laughing the whole time. If you made this a lot longer it would make a funny book. 

on May. 24 2010 at 5:57 pm
V.T.Summers BRONZE, Longview, Washington
1 article 16 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Things rarely turn out as expected.

potato ninja, lol

i wish i could come up with somethin tha random

great job

Striker GOLD said...
on Apr. 6 2010 at 4:42 pm
Striker GOLD, Wichita, Kansas
11 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who care about you and forget about those who don't."

This is kind of corney, but is very creative. I think you could come up with a better title.

JeanGrey GOLD said...
on Apr. 4 2010 at 12:33 am
JeanGrey GOLD, Mason City, Iowa
10 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."-Oscar Wilde

wow...patato ninja? lol that is hilarious and random and awesome and i love the wierd awesomeness of it all :)

on Feb. 27 2010 at 9:00 pm
wishing4thebest2day GOLD, Redmond, Washington
10 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving will ultimately make you happier in life. It is rewarding for you to brighten up someone's day." -Anonymous

Great job Anonymous!

on Feb. 26 2010 at 9:54 pm
Fireflie BRONZE, Danville, Pennsylvania
4 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and wonder how the heck you did it.

i was laughing the whole time i read this. hahah this is great

on Feb. 20 2010 at 9:16 pm
SarClark BRONZE, NC, Connecticut
2 articles 0 photos 534 comments
Uhummm... yup!

on Jan. 7 2010 at 7:34 pm
evrycloudyday7 PLATINUM, Wappingers Falls, New York
28 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what counts." Seneca
"I'll just read a book instead. I don't care if we're just friends. I can hang out with myself I'm old enough now to pretend. Bam ba dum ba dum ba dum." kate n

I LOVE IT!!! It's funny.

on Nov. 26 2009 at 9:55 pm
waiting_to_be_found GOLD, Conifer, Colorado
10 articles 1 photo 73 comments
Wow, seriously?