Big-Footed Blair and The California Adventures | Teen Ink

Big-Footed Blair and The California Adventures

March 20, 2015
By botekay20 BRONZE, Cedarburg, Wisconsin
botekay20 BRONZE, Cedarburg, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
when life gives you lemons make lemonade

It's about a girl named Blair. She was born with really big feet. Then for reasons she runs away to California. Then has many adventures with friends she makes along the way. 

Chapter 1: Big Footed Blair

Now, you've heard of the popular John Henry and Paul Bunyan, but you probably never heard of Blair. Or maybe you do know her but only by her infamous nickname: Big-Footed Blair. Now you would guess by her nickname that she has big feet, and yes, you are right. By big, I don't mean size ten to twelve feet, I'm talking bigger-than-the-state-of-New-Hampshire feet. Blair could probably take out the whole US Army with just her feet! You’re probably thinking, big feet equals a big person. Nope, that's not the case for Blair. She's still the size of an average human being; she just happens to have abnormally large feet that are not proportional to her body.

Blair’s feet didn't just magically become large one day. They were huge long before she was even born. You know how when babies are born their head is three times as big as their body? Well knowing that, think about the fact that newborn Blair’s feet were three times bigger than her head.  Even when her mother was pregnant, her feet were ginormous. Blair's feet were so large that doctors thought her mother was having triplets! After dozens of ultrasounds, the physicians quickly realized that it was just Blair's enormous feet.

After Blair was born, her feet proved to be quite the inconvenience. Young Blair wasn’t too fond of the confinement of her crib and would often kick through the wooden bars to get out of it, which resulted in Blair’s parents buying  more than a hundred cribs throughout her baby years.

During Blair’s toddler years her dad, like every other dad,   would sometimes go all “tickle monster”. He obviously wasn’t the smartest tool in the shed because one sunny morning he decided to tickle attack her from behind. That resulted with him getting kicked square in the jaw.

Oh, and you should’ve seen it! His cranium must’ve done a full three-sixty before he fell into a three week coma! From that day forward his mind has been quite off, and the only thing he has been able to say is: “peanut butter”.

As Blair grew older her feet grew with her (if not faster!). You probably guessed she got teased for her feet, and yes, she did sadly get judged for her abnormality. She would often, however,  kick the people who bullied her. People could usually see her bullies soar through the sky and land with a SPLAT.

However, eventually the constant teasing and the hurtful nicknames, like "Big-Footed Blair" and "Hobbit Blair", got to her and she ran away. She traveled all the way to the sunny state of California, which of course was only about four steps for her. Even though she was escaping her bullies, there was one minor setback to her leaving: her parents. The two, of course, did not know she left and constantly mourned her disappearance.

Blair stayed in California for awhile and resided in a little house in the mountains. Blair would follow the same routine every single day. Every morning she would venture out of her house and make mountains (yes, I mean actual mountains). Then she would walk on the same area so many times that the ground would end up with large indentations in it. These indentations made the land very uneven, with low peaks and high peaks . These peaks are what we now know as the San Bernardino Mountains.

Even if it was lonely, Blair enjoyed it in the peaceful mountains of California. No one bothered or teased her there.  Most animals felt threatened by the presence of Blair’s feet so they avoided her, their hiding being completely unknown to her. Then there were the hikers who avoided her side of the mountain in fear of her stomping them to death. Some people even believed she crushed up humans and used them as the main ingredient of her favorite “Everything - But- The- Kitchen-Sink Soup”.

One day, while she was on her usual excursion, she found something peculiar— a village full of people. However, these were no regular people. These people had bright pink hair, blue skin, and were no bigger than a brand new Dixon Ticonderoga pencil. As she approached their camp she accidentally stepped on one of the strange people, causing great commotion among the pink haired creatures.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry!" Blair cried.

"You, you... MONSTER!" a young Fuzziwitz yelled up at her.

"Really I didn't mean to step on that, um, person! I mean no harm, I've just never seen anyone on this side of the mountains," Blair stammered.

"Fine, but you must repay us for the loss of our brethren," the leader Fuzziwitz declared.

"Anything, I'll do anything!"

" You must help us in any way possible so we can live easily in this new settlement. We have just arrived here from our home Fuzziville, for we felt we needed a change."

"Very well, I know these mountains like the tip of my toes!" Blair told them.

"That's great! We are the Fuzziwitz."

"I'm Blair, but most people call me by my nickname, Big-Footed Blair!" Blair exclaimed, proudly.

It took a bit of adjusting at first, but eventually they got used to each other. Blair kept her promise to help the tiny people and developed a way to help them travel around faster and easier. She made giant clay bowls and tied them to her feet. A Fuzziwitz would then get inside, and she would take them wherever they needed to go.

Blair made a strong relationship with the Fuzziwitz and they started to feel like family. So when the Fuzziwitz made the decision to go back home, Blair didn’t know what to do. The Fuzziwitz  understood this predicament she was in and gave her some time to think about it. They decided to leave in three weeks time.

There was one major problem for the pink haired people: to actually get to their home they were required to dig a hole deeper than the ocean. This hole would bring them to their home, Fuzziville. Day and night, the Fuzziwitz dug and dug. They didn’t stop until one of them fainted. Unfortunately, Blair was unable to help because she was still contemplating her decision whether to go with or not.

Finally, after a week of just sitting and thinking, she made the choice to go to Fuzziville. So off they went, the Fuzziwitz and Blair. It took them weeks just to get all the Fuzziwitz into the hole!

That was the last time Blair was seen in the United States. Some say she’s still searching in the depths of the Earth. Or some people think the Fuzziwitz and Blair found their home of Fuzziville and are living peacefully. Though every now and then, you can feel the ground quiver and shake in California. Some people call them ‘earthquakes’, but you, the reader, know better. You know that’s just good ol’ Blair clomping about under the ground beneath you.

The author's comments:

This was inspired by the idea of Paul Bunyan

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