True Feelings | Teen Ink

True Feelings

September 22, 2009
By gincogirl05 BRONZE, Winfield, Texas
gincogirl05 BRONZE, Winfield, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I love the sound of the wind blowing the leaves around. The smell of the rain that will begin to fall any minute makes me feel so relaxed. The sky is cloudy and the tall trees sway from side to side as if dancing to the music made by nature.
I am laying on a large rock in the middle of the woods with my eyes closed. This is my place to get away from everything and think. The sky is cloudy and I can hear thunder in the distance. The rain is getting closer. I’m glad, I love the rain. I open my eyes and stare at the falling leaves and the darkening sky.
As I lay there, I hear the sound of crunching leaves. Someone must be nearby. I sit up and look around. In the corner of my eye, I see a slight movement and a flash or white. I get up to try to see who it is coming to disrupt my moment of peace. It is a boy, and he is walking as if he is determined to get to a destination. I follow him. I try to catch up, but he is walking fast. He stops and bends down to tie his shoe. As he stands back up I see his face.
It is him.
He who I thought I would never see again.
I had stopped abruptly when I saw his face and now that he had started walking again I was further behind him. I decided I would follow him and try to at least say a few words to him.
I started to walk faster and when I was closer I called after him.
“Bruce!” I yelled out.
At that time, the sound of thunder drowned out my voice. And all at once it started to drizzle. I began to jog and kept calling his name, but it seemed he could not hear me. As I got close enough to him that if I reached out I could touch him with my hand and just then, he walked into a clearing. I stopped at the edge of the clearing waiting for him to acknowledge that I was. He kept walking in to the middle of the clearing, I didn’t know if he was ignoring me or he just hadn’t seen me.
I noticed there was a tombstone in the clearing ad suddenly I felt uncomfortable. I felt like I was interrupting a moment that he might want to be alone. I started to walk away, now hoping he hadn’t noticed me, when he started to cry. It started out as a soft whimper, but it got louder until he was crying uncontrollably.
It hurt me to see him suffer like that so I stepped closer to him. I wanted to comfort him, to do something to make him stop crying.
I was only a step behind when I reached my hand out to touch his shoulder. I took a step closer and I tripped over something on the ground. I fell forward and barely missed falling on him. Even so, he still seemed not to notice my presence at all. I had landed right on top of the tomb. It had to be my luck for something so stupid to happen to me. I started to stand as he fell to his knees, still sobbing.
I was filled with compassion for him. I leaned over to try to put my arm around him and somehow missed his shoulder.
“Bruce, are you okay?” I asked as I walked around him to face him.
He didn’t even blink. He didn’t move at all. It was like he was looking through me at the tombstone. I reached out to wipe a tear off his face. My hand went through his cheek. I tried to touch him again, and once more my hand passed through him like he was made of air.
He started saying my name very softly. I hardly heard it at first. At that moment I assumed he finally saw me and I tried to hug him. At the same time he bent down to wipe leaves off the grave…I felt nothing as our bodies passed through each other.
At that moment I realized something terrible. I looked down at the tombstone and confirmed my suspicion.
I was standing over my own grave.
As I stood there in awe, he whispered “ I’m sorry…I know I’m too late, but I love you…”

The author's comments:
This piece is based on a dream I had a few weeks ago.

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This article has 13 comments.

on Mar. 11 2012 at 7:49 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
"it's impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default."

WOW that was so good! What a great story. The suspense was incredible. I am in love with this!! I'm speechless.

on Jun. 21 2011 at 12:53 pm
vampiresrock GOLD, Cornish, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you oranges, make grape juice and sit back and let the world wounder how the hell you just did that.

Love it! I really liked it. Kudos!

sha009 said...
on Mar. 25 2011 at 9:47 am
wow it's just amazing i love it...nice story..

on Mar. 3 2011 at 10:35 am
amandajeysing SILVER, Kuala Lumpur, Other
8 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am my Beloved's; His desire is for me

Song of Songs 7:10

The Holy Bible

WOW! didn't see that coming..

seriously, it wasn't one of those obvious and i-noe-what's-gonna-happen-next kinda thing..

great suspens..

bobun16 SILVER said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 12:16 pm
bobun16 SILVER, Mesa, Arizona
7 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
is this a trick question or what?-Calvin and Hobbes

this is fantastic! I love the neding! Sad/happy. This is great stuff, magazine material! Could you please read some of my work, if you ever get some time. I'd appreciate any feedback I can get.

on May. 21 2010 at 10:05 pm
CanYouSeeTheCrazy PLATINUM, Cle Elum, Washington
21 articles 0 photos 125 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I know why everyone in this world is so desperate to find love."
"Oh yeah? Why then?"
"Because, it's the closest thing we have to magic."

wow, i really liked it. like, a lot. like, i'm speechless. awesome!!!

KellyR GOLD said...
on Jan. 13 2010 at 2:30 pm
KellyR GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 258 comments

Favorite Quote:
We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

I sort of expected the ending but it's not your fault I watch and read a lot of thriller/mysteries. I loveeeed it.

on Oct. 22 2009 at 4:17 pm
actorsarecool SILVER, Zanesville, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can be happy, you just haven't found it yet."~ A random stranger.

I actually cried int his piece .absoueltly wondeful by the way. Godd job

on Oct. 10 2009 at 1:49 am
EternalMadness GOLD, Fresno, California
13 articles 1 photo 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I want to save their light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide

That was very good. your use of vagueness throughout the piece led to an unexpected greatness :p

on Oct. 8 2009 at 1:42 pm
yumichris BRONZE, West Palm Beach, Florida
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935), Illiterate Digest (1924)

Oh my goodness that was so sad...i didn't see the ending coming. It was really good. I applaud you! =D

lagov said...
on Oct. 7 2009 at 5:15 pm
This article of writing is interesting and thrilling. It gave my chills all through the story. In the passage it states, “I noticed there was a tombstone in the clearing ad suddenly I felt uncomfortable. I felt like I was interrupting a moment that he might want to be alone,” when I read that my first thought was what is the relation between him and the deceased. I t really made me think about the situation and made me want to read on. Later in the story it is still exciting but suspense is building like in the part when it states,” I leaned over to try to put my arm around him and somehow missed his shoulder.” It was well written because it had a good sequence. I like how later in the story its tells that it is her grave because it had a twist I also thought it was his. My favorite part of this passage is in the last line saying, “As I stood there in awe, he whispered “ I’m sorry…I know I’m too late, but I love you…” That part I would say is my favorite part because you want to know more about the relationship between the two. It also makes the reader realize sometimes you say something to late. Overall I like how this piece was wrote and it was suspenseful and thrilling.

poertner said...
on Oct. 6 2009 at 11:16 pm
poertner, Norfolk, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
awe, thats sad but cute, at first i thought it was his own tomb but. . . awe

jessi GOLD said...
on Sep. 26 2009 at 9:00 pm
jessi GOLD, Nunya, Florida
15 articles 4 photos 115 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty."

WOW. that is amazing!!! did not see that coming, LOVED IT!!! keep writing!!!