Emergency | Teen Ink

Emergency

February 8, 2011
By awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson


“James Tyler Sanders, get out here! Now!” A voice shouted, it echoed around the big old house, built nearly six decades ago.
James grimaced, crouching underneath the old bed in the guest room. He sneezed from the dust, collected underneath the old bed. He then clapped a hand over his mouth, wincing. Suddenly, his ankles were grabbed and he was dragged out from under the bed. The seven-year old shouted in alarm, but nobody heard him.
The boy looked at his father, tears in his eyes, he tried to struggle away, but his father’s harsh grip didn’t allow that. His father slammed the back of his hand into the side of the boy’s face. “I’ll teach you not to ignore your father when he calls for you!” He shouted.
James gasped, tears flooding his eyes. He managed to yank his arm away from his father and saw blood welling from claw marks where his father's nails had been digging into his arm. He turned and ran away from his father, fear bright in his panicked, brown eyes. He slid down the banister and landed at the bottom of the stairs. He heard his father thundering down the stairs behind him. He ran to the front door and fumbled with the lock but his father was right behind him. He ran to the kitchen, where the nearest phone was. He heard his father getting closer, screaming profanities. He looked around for the small, grey cordless phone that normally lay on the kitchen counter. He grabbed it and started to dial, 9...1...1... He went to press send when his father yanked the phone from his hands and threw it away from them, it bounced off the cabinet.
James reached out and grabbed the first thing he touched, a roll of tape. He threw it at his father’s face and grabbed something else and threw it at his father’s face without even registering what it was, fear and adrenaline running his mind.
James blinked, suddenly, all he saw was red. His father stumbled a few steps towards James, his hands reached out as if he were Frankenstein. He managed to clasp his large hands around James’ neck and looked him into the eyes. “You useless excuse of a-” His eyes rolled back into his head and he fell forward, crushing James against the ceramic tile floor of the kitchen.
James lay there trembling and all he could hear was the phone buzzing, the 911 operator screaming, “Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?!”



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This article has 76 comments.


waterlyli said...
on Feb. 21 2011 at 11:29 am
I was a little confused about the unknown object and the blood. Maybe add something like "he grabbed something else, feeling its sharp edge dig into his palm before he hurled it at his father". I think it would make more sense that way.

xLoveLuna said...
on Feb. 20 2011 at 9:45 pm
is it strange that this kind of made me want to cry. So amazing. 

currybun said...
on Feb. 20 2011 at 8:44 pm
<33333 LOVELOVE.

on Feb. 20 2011 at 7:55 pm
Even though i've read this before (when you posted the link earlier), it still chills me. That, my friend, is good.

on Feb. 20 2011 at 6:06 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

knife, blood.

Purpleinator said...
on Feb. 20 2011 at 5:28 pm
I really like this story also, but I do have a question; what happened at the end? What did he throw? And why did James see red...? Sorry, just a bit confused. -Purple

on Feb. 17 2011 at 9:46 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Thank you! (: I'm definitely considering making it longer, expanding it into a real story.

on Feb. 17 2011 at 9:45 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

you were write the first time haha. It's a homophone. Great is an adjective, Grate is a verb.

on Feb. 17 2011 at 9:45 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Thank you! That's what I was trying to get (:

on Feb. 17 2011 at 8:12 pm
very good, intense, a few grammatical funnies but over all very entertaining.  If you do write a sequel, I'd like to know a little more about James...I'm sure that impacted his life a great deal.

Cinder SILVER said...
on Feb. 12 2011 at 5:54 pm
Cinder SILVER, Auckland, California
8 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
''Curiosity kills the cat''

*Grate :)

 


Cinder SILVER said...
on Feb. 12 2011 at 5:53 pm
Cinder SILVER, Auckland, California
8 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
''Curiosity kills the cat''

Wow! That was intense, I was wondering what was going to happen the whole time. Great writing :)

McDovahere said...
on Feb. 11 2011 at 10:32 am
that sounds like an awesome idea

on Feb. 10 2011 at 10:08 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

you know i think I am going to add to it. maybe write as James 7 years later when hes older and in a foster home and like his dad survived but went to jail... what do you think?

on Feb. 10 2011 at 9:42 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Thanks Curry (: that means a lot.

on Feb. 10 2011 at 9:42 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

thank you (:

on Feb. 10 2011 at 9:42 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

thanks I guess, and im definitely considering it!

on Feb. 10 2011 at 9:41 pm
awritersesteem GOLD, Stafford, Virginia
17 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

thank you so much (:

EPiiCNESS said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 9:18 pm

amazing. I love this. So intense. 

you have a gift misery.


OMGITSMIKEY said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 8:53 pm
this is intense mann. write more of this shizz!