A Murderer, A Witness, A Victim | Teen Ink

A Murderer, A Witness, A Victim

August 30, 2011
By Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

My eyes are glued to the fear and the madness of the killer’s face. At first glance, she wouldn’t be labeled as a murderer. She looks too kind, almost innocent. Her hair is short, and I recall having seen it done in a bob style. A layer of fringe comes down over her eyebrows, which she occasionally swipes while licking her lips.

She is nervous as well.

Who wouldn’t be? She knows of the blood that will be on her hands, but she thinks she can get away with murder.

My heart beats in apprehension, and my limbs are shaking from the terror. I abhor having to be here, having to watch this, having to live it.

She is about to end a girl’s life, somebody she feels does not deserve to live anymore. She more or less shouted that in my face.

On the bathroom counter, she fingers a knife with a gloved hand, forces a smile. The glint of the overhead fluorescent light on its cool metal is enough to make me want to stain the floor with the remains of the food in my belly, but I hold it back.

I watch her take a deep breath and snap her eyes to the girl she means to kill.

She says with determination, “You’ve suffered enough.” She sounds like she knows it very well. “You deserve… a better life. The others can simply… forget you.”

I want to object, but my voice doesn’t work anymore. Perhaps nobody loves her, and death will be a peaceful welcoming. I shut my lips tight, my eyes locking with hers.

Her eyes are on the victim, who doesn’t say a word. Acceptance lines the edges of her eyes.

The murderer lifts her weapon, no more qualms about the deed she’s about to commit.

The knife is plunged into her heart, and I, the witness, am faced with the reality of death.

We three are no more.

The author's comments:
I don't know if this is amazing, or if it has the effect I'm trying to give. I'd appreciate any sort of feedback anyone would like to give. Thank you:)

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This article has 2 comments.

on Oct. 27 2011 at 8:00 am
JillianNora SILVER, Forest Park, Illinois
8 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." -1 Timothy 4:12

Strong. Short, but strong. Beautiful piece, I love the manic way you described the murderer. I feel like this could be the climatic point in a book because there's so much backstory. Great work:) (If you're bored, I'd love some feedback on my novel "Stuck in the Past":)

on Sep. 11 2011 at 6:02 pm
CarsonFaircloth, Nowhere, New Hampshire
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Wow. This was a very---and shockingly---strong piece of writing. I chose to read this for two reasons:


1. I promised I would read some articles of yours in the thread where you offered free reads.


2. I love short stories.


I am very grateful I chose to read this one, and I'll probably end up reading a few more of your short stories. The writing was powerful, there were no gramatical errors...it was a chilling narration, to say the least.


The last line especially got me: "We three are no more."


Very nice job with this piece.