Her Creature | Teen Ink

Her Creature MAG

July 9, 2012
By Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)


He was a strong, sleek, beautiful animal. She loved to show him off at her frequent and lavish dinner parties, such as the one in which she was currently engaged. Her laughter rang out, sweet and melodic to her guests. To him, this laughter covered up the true woman inside. A careful sort of look-away-my-dears-and-laugh-with-me type of laugh. She laughed this way often. But never to him. When she laughed to him, it was a laugh one makes while finding pleasure in someone else's pain.

She turned now and snapped her fingers once. “Come here, dear boy, where are you?” she let out another girlish giggle as her guests sat forward in their seats. From the shadows of the stairs he regarded her coolly. He would procrastinate, wait for her second snap, and then he would calmly approach her as if he were prepared to do her bidding. This was his life. Or rather, her life for him.

As expected, the second snap came briskly, within seconds of the first. (Come! Now, or you'll bleed for it.) She thought to him. His golden gaze shuddered, and closing his eyes for a split second, he opened them and stepped out obediently. He went up to her and allowed her rough petting.

The guests oohed and aahed, each aching to touch him as she did, but without the courage to do so. Or perhaps without the foolishness to do so. Maybe they simply had more intelligence, a mind that warned against this thing, this creature, that clearly was divine and did not belong in such an environment.

One bawdy guest stepped forward with a laugh like that of his mistress, yet what it held dear and hidden was different. This laugh concealed, as it well should, fear. The guest, a young woman with flashy gems adorning her throat, knelt near him. His eyes slit, turning from shimmering gold to stormy brown with hints of jet black. His jaw lowered just enough to show the tips of long, hard, glossy teeth. The guest patted him quickly on the head, barely touching him at all really, and then stood, smiling uneasily, and briskly returned to her seat.

(Mistress, do you wish anything else?) He thought to her.

Her response was swift. (What do you think, mangy animal?)

One guest's voice rose slightly. “My, what scars he has! What would dare attack a creature such as he?”

(Only you dare attack, Mistress. Will you tell her so?)

She smiled tightly. “Oh, he gets into fights all the time. I can't keep him out of them! He was in one just this morning. I had to save him.” The guests squealed in fright over their hostess's intervening in a fight between this creature and something else so daring as to provoke this creature.

(You lie too well, Mistress.)

(And you cannot tell the truth either, so we are at a stalemate, no?)

(Perhaps.) He watched her, fixing his now pale yellow gaze upon her as she carefully and daintily shoveled food into her mouth, answering queries between bites. The guest closest to him noticed.

“Darling, he looks so hungry. Do feed him so we may watch!”

His mistress laughed again and explained that he can only be fed outside as he is such a messy eater. (No dinner at all if you continue to stare like that!)

(I have not eaten since this time yesterday eve, Mistress.)

(Do you think I care?)

(Do you want me dead?)

(Mangy animal! You will live, you ungrateful wretch.) She slammed her fork down indelicately.

(Indeed. Indeed, I will live. Will you?)

Her cheeks were turning a deep red and a sheen of angry sweat shone on her forehead. She struggled to keep her composure. Her guests noticed and suddenly were in an adoring uproar about her, declaring that she looked ill and should lie down immediately. She played along, all the while feeling uneasy in the gaze of the animal. The guests apologized for her sickness and promised to check with her tomorrow. She nodded stiffly and agreed to lie down.

Only when she reached her room did she look for her animal. Aloud she said angrily, “Come here, you dratted thing!”

He more than obeyed. She screamed in fear as she glimpsed the fire in his eyes while he leapt, paws flared out. She glimpsed eyes that were a shocking bronze, flashing metallic burgundy. His huge paws landed on her chest, knocking her down. (See if you whip me again.) As he lowered his head, her shrill screams died quickly.






The man walked quickly to the newspaper stand and grabbed a copy. “Anything interesting in the news today, Arnold?”

Arnold peeked from behind a stack of paper-filled crates. “No, sir, not ­really. Oh! Oh, yes, I forgot! Page seven! You must read it! Most outrageous! I met the thing myself once. It looked trained to me, though husky and scarred like a war veteran. Read and let me know what you think on it,” Arnold declared.

The man nodded and laughed, barely hearing what the paper man was saying, but flipping to page seven anyhow. As he walked away, he skimmed the headline: SOCIETY WOMAN KILLED BY PET. He slowed down, a strange look crossing his shadowed face, and ambled over to a bench to sit, reading further in the story of the wealthy woman who lived alone with her large trained bobcat, which one night turned wild and killed her. The cat had ­disappeared much to the panic of the town.

Idiots, he thought. Who would dare try to tame such a wild animal?

He shook his head and dropped the paper into a trash can as he stood to continue on his way. Some people, he thought, as he stepped off the curb into the street. His golden-bronze eyes flashed to copper in the sun. Some people almost don't deserve to live.


The author's comments:
My cat has golden eyes, and one night when I got this weird feeling, I looked to the foot of the bed and saw her watching me. Thus, inspiration struck. However, I would never hurt her, and as fierce as she is when she is hunting butterflies, I doubt she'd hurt me. :)

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This article has 15 comments.


on Sep. 3 2015 at 7:19 pm
DarkeRose13 BRONZE, Toogoolawah, Other
1 article 0 photos 42 comments
I like how the pet attacked he she deserved a lot worse, it would be a lot better if the pet kept her as one

on Mar. 11 2015 at 7:53 pm
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

I like how the pet's personality shines through, the mental conversations were also very fresh. Congratulations!

on Aug. 29 2013 at 6:46 pm
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

Thanks! I intended it to seem strange to have such an animal at a dinner party, actually. I did that to show the woman's confidence in her tamed "pet". Thank you though, for commenting. :)

on Jul. 31 2013 at 3:54 pm
Quartermaster PLATINUM, Los Angeles, California
21 articles 8 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They tell us sir that we are weak. Unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when will we be stronger?"

I liked how you rounded out the pet's character. He's calm, submissive, and self controlled in the beginning. Then he commits murder and is unrepentant, a chilling contrast. The matter of fact and cold way the pet talks shows the reader whose really in control. I like that the pet's a bobcat, but bringing a bobcat to a lavish dinner party stretches it just a little. Maybe she brings him to a different kind of party? Great story, I really liked it. 

on Dec. 15 2012 at 1:46 pm
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

Thank you! Comments like this are some of the reasons I still bother to make time for my writing. I love it; but life interferes. 

KatsK DIAMOND said...
on Dec. 14 2012 at 10:30 pm
KatsK DIAMOND, Saint Paul, Minnesota
57 articles 0 photos 301 comments

Favorite Quote:
Being inexhaustible, life and nature are a constant stimulus for a creative mind.
~Hans Hofmann
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
~Ray Bradbury

This is amazing. Seriously, awesome job. Congrats on getting it published in the magazine; you deserve it.

on Nov. 13 2012 at 8:59 pm
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

...I think that just made my whole day. :D I will try endlessly to meet your expectations. haha thank you so much! I just wish that I had more time to write nowadays. 

on Nov. 12 2012 at 7:59 pm
Padfoot507 PLATINUM, Omaha, Nebraska
23 articles 2 photos 138 comments

Favorite Quote:
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
-Albus Dumbledore

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle,
Life is a maze, and love is a ridde."
-Lenka

Kessssssss I just wish I had your talent. You. Are. Magnificently. Skilled. Keep it up please!! :D

on Nov. 1 2012 at 3:32 pm
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

Thank you! I wrote this back in June I think, so having this sudden burst of attention because it's on the Fiction page was really unexpected and welcome. Getting compliments is even better. :) I have a more edited version that's also more graphic, but looking back I always feel like this one has a raw feeling that works better. Think it could be improved? I've rewritten it three times, haha. 

on Oct. 31 2012 at 5:24 pm
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 402 comments
Wow! I loved the ending. Great work! :)

on Aug. 2 2012 at 9:19 pm
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

Thanks! Will do!

on Aug. 2 2012 at 3:47 pm
PurpOreos SILVER, Macomb, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
Keep smiling...Because life is a beautiful thing. And there is so much to smile about!
"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing" Benjamin Franklin

Wow Amazing! Haven't read anything like this its really appealing and intersting and it kept my intrests. Great job and countiue to write!!

on Jul. 16 2012 at 9:50 am
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

Hey, for anyone who rates my story below a 5, would you please tell me why in the comments? Someone rated this a 1, I'd really like to know why. What can I do to make it better?

on Jul. 13 2012 at 4:14 pm
Kestrel PLATINUM, Warrenton, Virginia
29 articles 11 photos 189 comments

Favorite Quote:
-There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. (Shakespeare, Hamlet)

Thanks! I like the Twilight Zone stories, so I guess I naturally added a little element of those into it with the ending. 

on Jul. 13 2012 at 4:10 pm
werty5love SILVER, Temecula, California
7 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I love how he transformed for her. It was really interesting.