I have always been scared of the dark. Most of my friends and even my family laughed at me for it. They would say stuff like, “There are no monsters in the dark. There’s nothing in the dark but darkness” or “There’s nothing in your closet or under your bed.” The thing is that the darkness is what I was scared of. When I was around 10-years-old I just stopped telling people that I was afraid of the dark. I somehow ignored it as a whole and had forgotten about it. Until it started happening again.

I’m 25-years-old now, I have a beautiful girlfriend of 3 years, and the same friends I have had since kindergarten. I have been busy with my job, paying bills, and spending my time off with my friends and girlfriend. So, I guess you could say that my life being hectic and busy all of the time made me somehow forget about the fear that consumed my whole childhood and teenage years.

Last night I tried to fall asleep, but I could not seem to keep my eyes closed for more than what seemed like less than a second. I thought that it was maybe the soda I had before I went to sleep. The thing that did not make sense was that I have had my fair share of drinking caffeinated beverages before I have gone to sleep and they have never had this effect on me. So it had to be something else. That is when it all came rushing back. Every memory, every night screaming at the darkness to leave me alone, my parents running in scared half to death. I felt my heart drop and could not grasp the fact that I had forgotten these memories. “The darkness ruined my life...how could I have forgotten every single memory?” I thought. I decided to get out of bed and go into the other room where there was light. I also decided that I would finish some unfinished work to get my mind off of the whole thing. My girlfriend ended up getting out of bed a few minutes later, noticing that I was not in bed. She asked me why I was working so late. I replied with, “I’m just not tired, it must have been the soda I had before bed.”
“Oh yeah, that must be it. Well, I’m extremely tired and I just wanted to check on you. Have a productive night and I will see you in the morning,” She said.

How could I tell her? I can not lie to her about it if it continues happening. How could I tell my friends or family? At my age, I am pretty sure that if I tell anyone they will think I am absolutely crazy and send me to an insane asylum or something of that nature. So, the only conclusion I had come up with was that I had to hide it from them. Just like I did when I was younger. It was going to be very difficult, so I decided I would keep a journal. I will write about it tomorrow. It may explain more and possibly help me if I write it down.

Day 2 (last night was day 1.)

It happened again, just as I had expected. I layed in bed for about an hour before it started to get to me. I kept repeating in my head “go away!” It did not listen. It kept talking to me. It continued to make me terrified. I managed to keep in my screams and not wake up my girlfriend. I left to go into the other room, but that was about 5 in the morning. It is 6 A.M. right now and I just need to get it off of my mind again.

Day 3

The same thing happened again, just like last night. The only difference was that it got quite a bit darker. A bit darker that I noticed it. It was getting stronger. I did not know how to stop it from getting stronger, even when I was younger. It is getting stronger way faster than it did when I was younger and that makes me very uneasy. I do not know how I dealt with no sleep every night for 17 years. I can barely deal with no sleep for 3 days. I feel dead.

Day 4

Tonight was worse than ever. I could not move, not even a muscle. I feel so weak. How am I still alive? It feels like this has been happening for 50 years, but it has only been 4 days. I noticed that my girlfriend was gone. She must have been at work all night or out with some friends. I finally gained back some of my strength and I decided to check my phone to see if she had texted me, but I could not even read the screen. My eyesight has never been this bad. I will probably go see an eye doctor later today.

Day 5?

I do not even remember it getting light out today. I do not even know what time it is. My girlfriend still is not back. I never went to go see the eye doctor as I had planned. What is happening to me? It seems the only thing I can do anymore is write these entries. I do not even know how I am writing these because it is pitch dark. Actually, it is darker than pitch dark. It is completely black. I can not see any shapes or anything except this journal, some of my bed, and the darkness staring at me. The weird thing is that the darkness has a journal too. Oh, did I mention that the darkness is in the shape of a man? Well, at least the darkest spot is.

Day “Who knows?”

My girlfriend has not returned. I do not know how many days it has been. My eyesight is getting worse by the hour. Or maybe it is just the darkness messing with me. I feel consumed by the darkness. I feel almost one with the darkness. I feel like the darkness.

Day 5,000? That’s what it feels like...

I do not remember what I last wrote because I cannot read anything. I think I fell asleep? I saw these people in their bed. The guy was staring at me. The girl was sleeping. I could only hear the guys thoughts. He was telling me to go away over and over again. It was brighter this time, though. I could actually see his form. Maybe it is because my dreams are brighter than the darkness.

Day “What do I write here?”

The guy in the bed stares at me every second of his day telling me to leave. The girl is gone now, but who cares about her. She is irrelevant to this whole thing. This guy makes me furious. I talk to him every night yelling back at him. I think I am going to end it soon...I am going to kill the man.

Day 1

I killed him. I feel free. I do not even remember how I got here, but it is so peaceful now that he is gone.