Me, myself, and I. All I could ever need in this world can be found within me, myself, and I; or at least that's what I've been told. But is it true? When you find yourself in a new relationship you repeat to yourself that you won't let it consume you, but you don't realize that it has until you lose it. 

My boyfriend and I had started off strong, as many couples tend to do, the two of us were perfect together and I remember how happy it made me when people would tell me so. Whether it be a teacher, a classmate, a friend, my family or his; I was so proud to be able to call him my boyfriend, but overtime that feeling dimmed through no fault of mine. You see, he had been ghosting me for weeks on end before finally he texted me saying that he wanted a break. Just a few days later I had found a video of him being coupley with a girl he had never talked to me about, it killed me inside. When we ended our break I tried to bury that memory, but it was so hard to go about feeling as if this person who I loved left me for someone better then came back after he got what he wanted; to make it worse though, my boyfriend had begun to leave me at lunch to hangout with another girl and after school he'd take different routes to avoid me. I hated it.

Soon we were arguing constantly and that was when I told him about my jealousy and anger and sadness towards him, he ended the conversation. Every time after that incident whenever I attempted to bring up anything he would avoid the topic as best as he could. He broke up with me the week before Valentine's day, a kick in the gut to say the least. In those final moments of the relationship and the moments that followed after, I felt awful about myself. 

I told myself that I would not allow this relationship to determine my worth but I allowed it to in the end and that was my fault. I had permitted this boy to make me believe that I was beautiful, that I was the embodiment of stars and constellations, that every breath I took was a small blessing to the people of the world, as if I was the world. After he left every sweet word was erased from memory. I was sad. More than sad. I wasn't able to leave my bed or focus in class, I was falling behind on homework, and it all just felt so overwhelming to me because I had lost my meaning. 

Here's the thing. 

There is no boy, girl, or person who can ever determine MY self-worth. That job is mine and only mine. I am not proud of how easily I let myself believe otherwise, but I share with you this:

~My self-worth is mine and only mine

~I am beautiful without him

~I am smart without him

~I am funny without him

~I am still me without him

As much as I need to believe it so do YOU! Love, you are worth more than you know and nobody can ever change that. You've come far and I am proud of you.