I'm shutting the door, I consistently let myself down I reopen the doors for people they should've been nailed shut for. For me to move forward I'm making a promise to God I will not let that door open for anyone in my past... I ask myself frequently why did you let it back open why? Because I think this person will be different? Or because I think this person sees me as I see myself so they couldn’t ever possibly hurt me for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th time? People are horrible, and I seem to never be able to find the reason people are like this. I'm done draining myself trying to make sure people know how genuine I am. I mean why do that if they will just turn around and stab you. I'm shutting the door on my first love it's been 2 years going on 3 and I still haven't forgiven this situation it haunts me every night I will never ever have the same perspective on love, and I hate you for that I was so young and was did so wrong what did I do to deserve that experience. I guess it was to learn someone you would ride for through anything I mean anything can and will switch up. But why am I always the one who will be there for you no matter how messy it gets and I'm the one to never judge through whatever it is you did. You still call and text my phone begging for our love back and the answer is decline I will never be desperate enough to allow that because the sad truth is I will never believe a word coming out of your mouth Your words hold no weight, and it is you who I blame. I kept letting you back in so many times just to get the same cycle over and over.  
Next, I'm shutting the door on you... The end of us remains a blur, a puzzle never fully pieced together. What I do know is that you were wrong, whether you comprehend it or not. I was there, supporting you through your highest highs, and your lowest lows    you claim you let me go because you had too much going on, but I thought I was the only one to put you at ease I guess that was a lie too. Ive seen you a couple of times since then and the vibes were something we could only feel and understand the most recent time I seen you told me in these exact words “I like her, but I really feel like we are meant to be” you made me go crazy for a couple days thinking maybe you are the one and please admit that you were pretending affection these past times I seen you , while having me believe in some deeper connection we supposably had, left me blind sighted  I'm no second choice so if you won't leave that girl alone and listen to your heart to find out if were meant to be then I made the decision for you, the girl you are with is perfect for you, you both are nothing good, I saw the picture you posted of  you guys together and then I got blocked after I viewed it, crazy how after I stopped giving you attention I'm the one cut off. 
In sealing these doors, you guys are dead to me I'm setting myself free from the past pain and misguided hopes. I promise the universe that I value my own worth enough not to let history repeat itself. I've learned that true strength lies in recognizing when to close a chapter, even when it's painful, and to walk forward. With forgiveness in my heart, I leave behind those who couldn't see my value, knowing that my worth is not defined by their actions. The closed doors are a symbol of my self-respect, a promise to protect my own heart, and for a more authentic tomorrow.