A first kiss is a magical experience all dramatic freshman girls dream about. In movies, couples with beach bods and voluptuous hair share a passionate kiss, preparing us for the moment of our lives. No one spits or has garlic breath and everything goes perfectly. Realistically, freshman year is one of the most awkward times of our lives and we need to expect some seemingly life-ruining situations to exist. My first kiss experience was one of embarrassment and public humiliation. It happened in the fall of 2012 on the last football game of the season. My new boyfriend Davis and I were sitting together on the bleachers watching a sport I had no idea how to play. Back then, I admit, we were that couple holding hands under a blanket all lovey-dovey. My high school has a fun game the seniors like to play called “the kiss cam,” where they choose one random girl and boy to kiss in front of the whole student section while they shove their hands in your face, acting like they are snapping pictures of you. For some, this was a gift from God, placing you with the hottest guy in school; for others, it was an unfortunate call to action. I had seen it done before to other people, with a senior screaming to the new couple to “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!,” persuading the rest of the students to join in to the chanting like some sort of ritual to see if the chosen ones will be accepted into the high school clan. The two chosen teenagers leaned in closer, pulling the student body towards the speculation. Their lips bumped into one another for a split second, getting them past the initiation. I peered behind a group of students at the blushing boy and girl, glad I had escaped this public torture all season. I know what this little game does…. I knew a girl who kissed a boy on the kiss cam once; turned out her best friend had a crush on him, and things have been sour ever since. My boyfriend and I had lasted a whole week together, and we were doing great. He took me to every football game we could go to….but I wish I was sick on that last game. That night was the coldest of all the games we had gone to; I was equipped with a hat, a blanket, and my teeth brushed, so I could sit next to Davis worry free. The ball is punted and the game begins…. we stood snuggling under the blanket and chatted with our friends packed closely next to us. The last quarter approaches and its time for another kiss cam. The alpha senior blows a vuvusela, calling all eyes to him. Who will be the next victim? Where will the seniors prowl to next? A long haired senior with his shirt off and his body painted in green hopped around the bleachers, preying on innocent students. My friends and I stood at the top bleachers, the designated spot for freshman; or fresh-meat, as they call us. I saw him crawl up to one step then the next then the next. Was he coming towards us? I try to look around, ignoring the students pointing him towards our direction. But my boyfriend and I were easy to spot– we were already paired up, vulnerably wrapped together in a blanket. The senior sprawled out from the stairs, hunching in the bleacher below us. He looked directly at us, raised his hands to his mouth, and bellowed “KISS CAAAM!” This was it, it was all over. How could we ever survive this attack? I didn’t dare to look at Davis or the students or anyone else. My face turned blood red and I suddenly forgot how to breathe. I really liked Davis; I had never liked anyone like this before and I feared I would ruin everything in one night. I had spent months before he asked me to be his girlfriend trying to impress him and act like the perfect girl. I felt the eyes of a million vultures on me, waiting for me to meet my doom. I was overcome with the feeling of wanting to be accepted; I didn’t want to embarrass Davis or myself so I glanced at Davis to see how he was feeling. What if he was laughing at me too, ashamed I couldn’t bring myself to kiss someone? But he was patiently waiting for me to make my decision. His warm eyes calmed me down for a minute, and I realized…. I really did like him. By then, the senior had already made his way up to a few inches from my face, screaming at me to just do it already. I tried to helplessly shake my head “no” at him, acting as though I knew exactly how to get out of the situation. Nothing was working; I panicked, what could i do? I had never kissed a boy before, what if i mess up? My first kiss can’t be this way; at least buy me dinner first! I wince from the sound of the jeering students and that pesky senior guffawing in my face. After five minutes of straight yelling, you would think he would have given up by now; but no, he was determined to humiliate me. I try to ignore everyone’s awaiting stares and encouraging shouts, but it had already gone on too long. It would have just been better to have gotten it over with at this point. My heart flutters with fear and i can feel my body start to freeze– Davis was looking at me now, wordlessly asking permission for a kiss. He would have respected me if i had said no, but…he is really cute, isn’t he? I decide to end the madness and give Davis a subtle nod. I don’t even take the time to close my eyes, I look at his face as he hesitantly goes in for the kill. You could see the pity in his eyes as he quickly pecks me smack dab on the lips. My stomach clenches, my heart aches, my brain turns to mush. My lips were so frozen, I could barely move them. I stood completely still, my eyes still wide open. I felt as though I had just lost my kiss-virginity. The silence is finally broken with a few hoots of the upperclassmen. The spectators turn away, satisfied with the show. I look around to the girls I knew that were still waiting to see my reaction when I turned my head. They were not laughing or clapping, but frowning; I must have looked like a complete loser. I was mortified. It felt stupid but I couldn’t help but let tears glaze over my eyes, making my vision blurry. Davis sees me mumbling and twiddling my fingers, I try to hide my face and act like I was happy by struggling to smile. He leans close to me and whispers “I’m sorry.” I had only just realized how bad he probably felt about it, too. He had kissed a girl before but never in front of the whole student body! At the end of the game, he walks me to my car, afraid to hold my hand or look me in the eyes. I smile and finally tell him “Don’t worry about it.” I give him a kiss on the cheek with my numb lips and step into the car.