Restless | Teen Ink


January 4, 2009
By Anonymous

If my day’s could only be my wonderful nights. Then the tears, that I cry should go away. Being traumatized and rapped. Think that’s not great. Wait you’ll know , ,I have been through a lot . Same thing happens back in the day. Any time, any place ,no matter who, no matter what .Being who? being what? think what? being who? Not your self I say. Friend in meaning you, and meaning what? Us being around still…gone now from , (what you done to me.)Thinking sorrow will feel for me I think not the torture… the begging I thought was my ending. Every one turns against me I don’t know why. I was rapped what you’ve expect . That, that had happen to me gets none of my respect. Only if you could see what I am going through. Trying to live day by day
.Finding myself all alone with only few where I can go. Trapped in this maze. Only playing life in the streets is not may way. Use to but now I’ve changed .I always’ will be a dedicated, loyal, and a loving mom. Praying to the lord to keep me strong. If my nights were day’s and my day’s were nights. Catching myself … Why might I do that? I have kids to raise , I am their mother there are no other. Think every mom would act like that. The one’s who think are the s**t . the mothers who up hold there children, no matter what they do. Know who I am talking to? Everyone know, just leave me alone… just don’t bother me no more . My life has took to much, being able not to sleep at night is stressing. Going to court is painful. Having to stay in the house cause I love my life. Sleeping by the front door guarding my children sleeping heads. Doubt me? Hate me? Love me? Who knows . There’s no love but my family. Not the cousins, aunt’s , or uncle’s. They all turn, not by the same story, it’s others in blame. I am talking Steve, Kim, Inez, Ervin, Chris, Bianca, and Corneilus. The Main “Helen”. That’s where most of my love come from. Friends now can’t trust all. Keeping my eye’s on a few. Think I can trust male’s to be my friend. I only trust few known, and kin. Why must in earth I shall explain myself I am tired off the hurting, the pain, and the many day’s off sorrow. Please take this time to see let’s get all this over with so I can sleep with peace.Ater all that I have been through. I started with many and end with a few. My daay's I pray shall get right. Need to find a community and start a new life. Why me is all I can, BUT I must never ask. being restless is all I ever had.

The author's comments:
Being 18 years of age. A rape victim of forceable rape. I took the time to let everyone know the one's who turned agaisnt me not knowing what happend. shall know. How stressing it is being a victim...

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This article has 3 comments.

on Jun. 1 2011 at 8:18 am
its fabulous

Bethani GOLD said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 5:59 pm
Bethani GOLD, Highlands Ranch, Colorado
10 articles 0 photos 508 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is perfect until you sit back and realize how boring it is without risks.

I like the flow of it. But you could split it up a bit more I suggest. Keep writing! Please check out my work at annoymous, higlands ranch, colorado. Some of my work is explosion, guardian angels, darkness, and pep band. Please cmment and rate! Thank you very much!

on Jan. 9 2010 at 5:42 pm
sillyaardvarkabc BRONZE, Riverside, Connecticut
4 articles 0 photos 63 comments
What? I didn't get this. I got that you tried to convey the confusing things that happened but you could explain it better.