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My sister and I were always told to watch out for abusive personalities. We were told of the signs, jealousy, controlling behaviors, unrealistic expectations, isolation, to sensitive, cruelty in animals, and brute like force. We were also told that we were not allowed to do our homework while watching TV. I think thats why my sister died, the warnings were not taken seriously because they were squeezed in there along with other warnings. Thats the only explanation I can come up with. That also why I'm sharing this story, I don't want another sister to feel the pain of loosing their sibling due to a abusive relationship.
My sister was the editor and chief of her school paper, worked on the speech teem, ran student council, and was the leader of snowball. In other words, she was brilliant. She would come home from school happy, well except for the homework, she would tell me all about her day and we would just have fun. I am cot trying to say that our relationship was without the argumentative disputes, but it was normal.
Then she graduated from high school, with a brilliant scholarship and a bright future. Everything was looking great. Mom and dad got her a new used car. Lauren my sister got into a good local college so that she could still live at home and save money. Lauren and I even found a new church that we could really understand, ok, the paster was really cute, but still, everything was good. That's when she found David.
Unlike my sister David was spoon fed everything. He barely made it into college, and had been juvenile convicted of violence towards animals, and had recently broken up with a girl that he had been abusing for over three months. But, unfortunately, she didn't know any of that when she met him. All she say was a hot guy who was completely focused on dating her.
At first everything seemed all right. Lauren was doing well in school, keeping up with her job, and maintaining a relationship. I noticed the change though. When she came home she would be less reluctant to talk to me, or anyone for that matter about her relationship. And when she thought she was alone, or that know one was looking she would show some of the pain that she was in. She also spent a majority of her time defending her love for David. My mother persevered in her quest to meet David, Lauren brought him home in late December.
There was something wrong with him. I knew it from the moment he looked me in the eye. The look in his dark green eyes seemed demonic to me. It was almost impossible to look him in the eye. But what seemed even more peculiar was that my sister seemed to have the same problem I did. I would look at everything but his eyes. The conversation seemed innocent enough. My parents drilled him on his career, family history, plans and license plate number they seemed to be satisfied and let them catch there movie. I could not believe that my parents had let them leave our household.
I was angry. I saw what smothering jerk David had been and I was upset that my parents had let them leave. I told them exactly what I thought. My mothers response was that once I began to date that I would not want there options on the people I dated. My dad said that he didn't like David, but that it wasn't any of his business. I stayed silent because I knew that they were wrong. If either of my parents said that the person waling through the door was a monster on the inside, i would heed their warnings and dump the guy. I waited up for Lauren, I couldn't sleep. She did not come home that night till three in the morning. I didn't know what to say, so I went to sleep.
The next day my parents were on her case about staying out late. That was the first time that everyone knew that something was wrong. Lauren exploded. She became extremely defensive about her relationship, her academics, and her personal space. She took everything of value to her and left. Saying that no one loved her here except for me and that she was going to live with David because he loved her. I had never really watched my mom cry before. But at that point there was nothing much more to do but watch what was going on around me. I listened as she left our house, I I watched as she called David, and I cried as she got in the car with the man that I utterly despised.
Lauren quit her job, dropped out of school, jot a volunteer job at a church, and lived with David. Nothing could have made the situation any worse. I rarely ever got to see her, and when I did, it was only for a brief time. I did not understand why she loved him. I still don't know why she stayed.
Lauren wrote in a journal every day since she met David. She said that the book was going to me so I could understand her better if we were ever to leave each other. We had a good relationship, but we were still 12 years apart in age. I understood the reasoning behind the diary and said that I would be perfectly willing to receive it at any time. Later that week I went to the library and saw my sister, I saw the real Lauren, that I had not been fully able to see up until then.
What she had become was pitiful. She was bruised and walked with a slight limp. Her eyed lingered on the floor as if something was going to spring from it. She would make no eye contact and was shriveled, and looked as if her spirit was too old for the body it was inhabiting. I knew it was her. The top book in the stack was “The Journey of Lauren” written in gold calligraphy. I knew better that to talk to her. Or at least, I was to afraid, afraid that what ever I said would be taken the wrong way and she would explode on me the same way she had exploded on my parents.
Later that day Lauren came to visit me, mom and dad. From the moment she stepped through our driveway. David had dropped her off, but did not leave the alley way, he left the car running. Once she stepped through the door of our home she handed me the journal, and told me that she knew it was me at the library. I had a feeling, that I knew exactly what was going on with Lauren. The reason she was giving me the journal the reason for the visit, everything.
David had beet on her. David had made her drop out of school. David had convinced her to quit her job. David had turned her against her our parents. David had convinced her to give up everything else in her life except him. He had probably tried to turn her against me, but we were sisters, and no man was going to separate us, no matter how strong a hold he had on her. David was the reason she had written the journal. David was her boyfriend. David was my enemy.
Lauren told us that David had bought a place in Maine, and that she was going to live with him. She will always be my sister, but I never thought that my sister would break my heart. It broke because I realized that I would never see her again if she left for Maine. David was dangerous and I knew it, so did Lauren, but she was so blinded by love that she didn't see the facts. I could pinpoint the moment that my heart broke. She knew what was coming and she wanted to be away from the people that loved her so that she could quietly end what she had blindly started. I stood there pleading with her to stay. I would like to believe that she hadn't heard me. I would like to believe that if she had really heard me she would have stayed. But she left, without looking back.
Three months later we got a call saying that Lauren had been beaten to death.
What more can I say. Her journal was of little comfort. It only showed that she was blinded by her love, so much that she couldn't see the truth. I was speechless. How could she be so reckless.
I have never hated my sister in my hole life. I still do not hate her for her decisions. Hate is only reserved for a select few. David is one of them. But that is beside the point I am trying to make, what I have been trying to portray in this story is that people are not what they seem to be, and to trust those that you have already put your trust in.
P.S This is a fictional story. It was based off of a friend of mines ex abusive boyfriend. She literally was blinded by the love she had for him. I knew something was wrong and her parents eventually did the right thing and called the authorities. Abusive boyfriends are dangerous, please listen to the people that love you most. And if you believe that you are in a abusive relationship or think that you are in danger tell someone that you trust. Do not wait till it's to late.