She is thirteen years old and has gone through more than most adults will ever have to.
All the losses in her life, continuously threatening her. Her strength and weakness, every second of her life.
She has the two she can tell everything; and the others just so she never feels alone.
Or so she tries to think; when in truth she is always alone. Alone in her life; alone in her school, alone in her friends, and even in her family. Always alone no matter how many people she is talking to or how happy she may seem…in her heart nothing is as it seems.
She is not confident in herself, in the way she looks…but everyone thinks she is; they must think her strong she never lets her weakness show…never pain is sure to follow. Nothing could be worth the laughter that will follow her, real or not, always worried people are watching; judging.
So she hides. Hides her pain, her inner self, with makeup, sweat shirts and the fake smile that always seems to be plastered on her face, the layers of black no one can seem to see through.
The cuts on her nobody sees.
The pain in her heart, her greatest unseen
The fear in her eyes, that seems so apparent; and yet no one is seeing.
Making her pain no less bearable
The man and women she calls mom and dad are in fact not
No one place to call her home
The one good thing goes wrong and once again she is all alone.
On a long and lonely road.
Struggling, wanting
One breath
One in
One out


Just so she knows she is alive






One



Make them slow










steady
so she can hope; that it is all a dream



two
ill count to three
and open my eyes
look around












three

the blood will be gone
as will the pain











one pinch





one last long squeeze of her eyes and…..
the pain remains…more severe than before ‘cause now it seems real
but the blood is beginning to look a deep wine red and is no longer flowing freely
and I realize
there is no reason to cry
I am not alone
I have a home
A mommy and daddy regardless of blood

Two amazing friends I trust with my life.

I AM NOT ALONE