I walk down the hall with my head hung low. My black hair falls in front of my eyes, hoping to help hide the tears falling down my cheeks like rain on a car window. I can feel people looking at me, some with pity, some with hate, and some didn’t even know what was going on. All I want is to get to my best friend, a girl with long red hair.
I get to my locker and open it. Out tumbles hate mail. During the hours I’d been away, the students had filled my locker with letters telling me that I didn’t deserve to live and that they all hated my. People purposely ran into my pushing me to the ground. A heavy set kid stepped on my fingers and I thought I heard one snap. A neatly folded piece of paper fell into my lap. Putting my injured hand to my chest I opened the note one handed and began to read. “Don’t give up. I know the hate mail is dragging you down, but you are strong. I’ve seen you be strong. We’ll get through this together. I’m not leaving your side. I don’t care what is going on (even though you’re going to give me an explanation) I’m here for you through thick and thin. From, your sister.”
I read it twice before re-folding it and putting it in my sweatshirt pocket along with a few from the floor. I looked behind me and saw my red haired friend, Nala. She smiled at me and I tried to return it but found it almost impossible. I got up and moved away from my locker, right into the arms of the principle.
“I-I-I I’m sorry sir. I-I-I didn’t mean to,” I stuttered backing away.
“It’s ok Rachel. I just need to talk to you about some things. Hello Nala,” he said looking at my friend. Nala smiled at him, shut her locker and left without looking back.
“Rachel,” he paused, “I saw you walking down the hall crying and I wanted to know what was wrong.”
I looked up at him trying to hide my broken hand which was now throbbing with pain. “It’s nothing sir, just stuff at home.”
He looked doubtful. “I don’t believe you Rachel. May I see your hand?”
I held out my hand and saw that it had begun to turn purple. I turned my head away and winced.
“Who did this to you?” The principal asked looking it over carefully.
“I did sir. I slammed it in a door this morning,” I said.
“Rachel, you're only hurting yourself if you don’t tell the truth,” he said letting my hand go.
I pulled it back to my cradling it to my chest. “Really sir. It was a door.”
The principal sighed but decided to drop the subject. “What are all these?” He asked nudging the closest letter with his toe.
I refused to look at them. “They’re letters sir,” I choked out.      
“Rachel, this is hate mail. You can’t hide that from me. I can see it right here. It says that you shouldn’t be alive. I’m reporting this and I’m going to call a school wide meeting. I absolutely do not allow this in my school. He bent down and grabbed the letter he had just read. When he stood back up, his face was bright red.
“No sir, please don’t. It’s okay. Please sir it’s really okay,” I tried to stop him, but his mind was set. He took off at a face pace towards the office.
“Teachers and students please excuse the interruption. I am calling an unplanned school wide meeting. Please meet in the auditorium at this time. Thank you,” the principal's voice came on over the intercom.
All around the school students and teachers alike had started to pour out of their classrooms and into the hallways. I hid from them in the doorway of a science lab and waited till I was the last one there to come back out.
They had turned the bright lights on in the auditorium, but I stood away from the light and away from everybody else. My hand had swollen to almost twice its original size and was throbbing even worse.
“Alright! Everybody sit down and shut up!” The principal roared. The student body listened but the teachers remained standing. “It has been brought to my attention that we have started a bullying club. Am I wrong?”
The students were silent. The stray whispers had stopped. Everyone was listening. We hadn’t ever seen our principle this mad.
“It needs to stop,” he held up a couple letters that he’d picked up from my locker, “these need to stop.” His voice had quieted a little but not by much.
I hid in the corner. I could feel people looking at me, I felt the principal's eyes searching for me, but I couldn’t meet his eyes.
“As from now on, the next I hear or see of this occurrence, punishments will be handed out. I do not think this is funny. I find no humor whatsoever. I’m not going to mention names, but I will be seeing some of you after school today. Get back to class.”
As one, the students rose and walked silently back to their classes. I waited again till everyone was gone before emerging into the light.
“Hey, Rachel,” a voice said. I froze. The voice continued, “I’m sorry Rachel. I was just trying to be like everybody else. I thought it was just a joke. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I finally turned around and saw a face that I knew. He used to be one of my best friends but a couple years ago, we just started to drift. “It’s okay Matthew,” I said.
He hung his head. “I feel horrible for doing that. I wanted to be cool. I wanted people to say, ‘did you hear what Matthew did? He was totally awesome.’ I didn’t think it would hurt you this much.”
“Yeah, you didn’t have to go tell on us Rach. What grade are we in? First?” another voice mocked. I saw Matthew flinch and he began to walk away.
“Yo, blubber boy. Why do you think you’re going?” The voice called after him.
      Matthew stopped but didn’t turn around. I feared what would happen next.
“Excuse me, Lucas. Is there a problem here?” the principal said coming from behind me.
Lucas stiffened, “No sir.”
“I believed I sent the students back to their classes. Where is your class may I ask?”
“I’ve got science this hour sir,” Lucas said.
“Hm, interesting. Allow me to escort you time. Matthew, Rachel get back to class.”
We go our separate ways and sometime later the principle came to get me from my art class.
“I wanted to make sure you were doing okay,” he said when we got into the hallway.
“Oh, yes. Yes sir I am. Really you didn’t have to do that. I was going to throw them away anyways,” I said. I thought about the letters that were buried in my pockets and then the collection of them I had at home.
“Well for a while now I’ve noticed Lucas has acquired quite a mean reputation. I’ve had a few students come up to me and say this but I had ignored it until today. I’m sorry I didn’t catch it earlier,” he said.
“Thank you for doing something about it sir, but I really need to get back to class,” I said. I don’t know why I didn’t want to talk to him but I needed to get away.
“Yes I’m sorry for keeping you so long. I hope everything gets better.”
I went back to class and my painting was gone, as I knew it would be. I had started this project three times just this week and it was due in two days. I sighed and got another piece of paper from the cabinet and started working again.
“Why Rachel, we’ve had this project for three days already, I’d have expected better progress from you,” my teacher, Ms. Larks, said coming up behind me. A few of the boys who I’m sure had done something snickered behind me.
“I’m sorry Ms. Larks. I’ll have it done by Friday,” I promised.
She shook her head and walked away.
A crumpled up piece of paper fell in front of me. I opened it and read it. “Maybe you should paint a tomato and paint it with your blood emo.” 
I crumpled the paper and put it in my pocket.
After the bell rang to signal the end of the day, I walked to my locker which really didn’t have anything in it and saw Nala sitting there.
“Hey, how’s it going?” She asked me.
I shrugged, “Today went just as every other day.”
She knew what that meant. I had been bullied ever since I got to this school. I had been called emo and a cutter several times when I wasn’t either. I just liked the color black and it plus it brought out the color of my eyes.
“I’ll walk you home, just in case one of the boys are planning on ‘teaching you a lesson’ again,” Nala said.
“Oh no, that’s ok. I don’t want you getting hurt too,” I said.
“Hey are you ready to go?” Lucas asked coming up behind Nala and kissing the top of her head.
Nala blushed and said, “Yeah just a second. I’ll meet you by the car.”
I looked at the ground. “How could she? I thought she was my best friend.” I thought.
“Look Rachel I can explain,” Nala said.
“No you don’t have to. I don’t want to keep you. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her anymore.
“Rachel please,” Nala pleaded.
“It’s fine,” I said.
Nala left and I sat next to my locker. I pulled her letter from earlier out of my pocket and read it once more. “If she were really my ‘sister’ then she wouldn’t be dating the person who’s causing all the problems.” I thought.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that it was Nala and ignored it.
I started to walk home and just as I got off campus the boys from my art class began to follow me. They were laughing and talking very loudly and I knew they were doing it on purpose.
       When they caught up to me one of the bigger boys said, “Where are you going Emo?” one of the bigger boys said.
       I ignored them and kept walking.
       The boy who’d spoken pushed my shoulder and I fell forward onto my knees. The rest of the group laughed. He got down so that his mouth was right next to my ear, “I said, where are you going Emo?”
       I still didn’t answer. I knew what was coming next and sure enough soon after the boy slapped me across the face. I didn’t make a sound and I knew there would be a bruise later.
       “Bring her over there,” the boy told the rest of the group motioning towards a group of trees and bushes. They hauled me to my feet and dragged me over there throwing me on the ground. This was new and I was afraid. Usually they just hit and kicked me in the middle of the street then left.
       The first boy came over to us and started taking his belt out of his pants, “Turn her over.”
       “Dude what are you doing? You said just a couple punches,” one boy said, there was a hint of worry in his voice.
       “She needs to learn her lesson. Now turn her over,” the first boy said not taking his eyes off me.
       They did as they were told but with some hesitation. “Now go, I’ll meet back with you guys at Joey’s house in an hour.” 
       No one moved. “Go!” He ordered. They shuffled their feet mumbling about how he was crazy then they were gone. As much as I hated them all I didn’t want them to leave me alone with him. He had this crazy look in his eyes.
       “Now I want you to take your clothes off and go stand by that tree you hear?” He said softly. He was swinging his belt back and forth.
       I was shaking with fear but was more afraid of what he’d do to me if I didn’t listen.
       “Good now close your eyes and don’t make a sound,” he said.
       I felt a sting across my butt. I jumped in surprise. He popped the belt over and over again on my butt not saying anything. Then he pushed me so I was laying flat on the ground and took advantage of me. It hurt but I did as he said and didn’t make a sound. He finished what he was doing and stood, put his clothes on, whispered, “don’t you dare tell anybody or I will kill you,” then was gone.
       I lay there naked and cold for hours after he had left. The realization of what he had done scarred me. I knew that what he did would last longer than a few bruises or a few broken bones. What he did would haunt me the rest of my life. I pulled my clothes on and ran home my tears blurring my vision. I got home slammed the door shut and ran straight into my mother’s arms. Our golden retriever, Trixie, stood and came to see what was going on.
       “Sweetie what happened?” She asked in her soft voice wrapping her arms around me.
       I couldn’t speak about what he had done. He told me he would kill me if I did and I knew he would. I was only fourteen and he had taken from me the last thing that was mine.
       My dad came into the room followed by my two younger twin sisters. They stood in the doorway in the kitchen watching my mother and I swaying back and forth.
       “It was just a long day at school,” I said wiping the tears off my face.
       “What’s this Rachel?” my dad asked picking up a letter that must have fallen out of my pocket. I froze. I knew that if I tried to take it from him they would push at me until they got the truth of what was going on, or they would read through my journal when I wasn’t home.
       He opened the letter and read it to himself. I could tell by the look on his face that it wasn’t the one from Nala. “Who gave this to you?”
       “It was in my locker dad, I don’t know who wrote it,” I said which was the truth.
       He held it out to my mom so she could read it and gasped covering her mouth with her hands. “Is Principal Garran doing anything about this?” she asked.
       I nodded.
       “Girls, go to your rooms, we need to talk to sissy on her own for a while okay?” my dad said softly. My sisters nodded and then shot upstairs.
       “Rachel, how long has this been going on?” my mother asked me pulling me over to sit at the table.
       “Since I started wearing all black,” I said, “they keep calling me Emo and a cutter and pretty much everything else that has to do with the color black.”
       “Why didn’t you tell us sooner? That was like four months ago Honey, you let it go for too long,” my mom said.
       My father’s face was bright red in anger. A muscle in his jaw was working as if he were clenching his teeth behind his closed lips. “I’m going to talk to the school about this. They cannot tolerate this and if they are then we’re moving. I will not stay where it is unsafe for my daughters.”
       Now would be a great time to tell them but I just couldn’t and I knew that I couldn’t change my dad’s mind so I just kept quiet. They both hugged me then sent me up to my room.
       “Sissy, are we gonna have to move again?” my sister Marie asked peaking her head out of her room, which is how I could tell she had heard the whole thing.
       “No baby, we’re not going to have to move. Daddy will figure it out,” I said it more to reassure myself than to tell her the truth.
       She nodded and ducked into her room again softly shutting her door until called for dinner.
       I walked to my room and shut the door after me. Above my bed was a piece of paper with a drawing on it. I took it down. It was a child’s drawing of a family of five with four girls, our family.
       “I thought you could use some cheering up,” my other sister, Bella, said walking into my room.
           I smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. “Thank you.”
       She nodded into my chest and I felt wetness on my shirt. “Are you crying Bella?”
       Bella sniffled, “I don’t like seeing you get hurt. I looked through your book, I can’t read most of it but those boys are mean to you.”
        I was angry at first that she’d read it but then had to smile because that’s what sisters do. “Yeah, they’re pretty mean.”
       “Why don’t you stop them?” She asked looking up at me with tears still in her eyes.
       I thought about that same question every day since they started doing this to me and still hadn’t found an answer. It wasn’t like I was afraid to. “They hurt me to bad before I can little one,” I lied.
       “Oh,” she said.
       “Girls, dinner!” My mother’s voice rang and we all charged downstairs.
       The next morning, I lay in bed till I heard my sisters get up. I couldn’t sleep that night so I had been awake since three. In between my legs still hurt and when I had taken a shower I was washing blood down the drain. I had tried to look up what it was because of but I found nothing.
       I pulled my sisters in their little red wagon to their school and tied it to the bike rack then walked to my school three blocks over.
       “Well, well, well, look who it is,” the boy from yesterday whispered in my ear in first period.
       I ignored him and took notes.
       “Hey Rach, you didn’t answer my texts last night,” Nala said at our lockers at the hour change.
“Oh I didn’t did I? Oh I’m so sorry I should be thinking about you when you’re dating the guy who started this all and when I was getting my V-Card revoked” I thought, but instead I said, “Oh sorry, I had to babysit the twins again.”
       She nodded in understanding and walked away.
       “Good afternoon Rachel, how are we today?” Principal Garran asked when he saw me walking down the hallway.
       I smiled back at him and said, “I’m good today Mr. Garran, thank you for asking.” I was lying through my teeth to everyone.
       He smiled and kept walking. I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding and continued on to class.
       The rest of the day went fine. I finished my art project and turned it in. The prompt was happy, so I took my sister’s idea and painted our family, not a drop of black was used. All that changed when the bell to send us home rang. I opened my locker and saw a note folded up on my binders. I grabbed it and looked around but everyone was packing their bags for the night. I opened it and it read: I will get you.
       A shiver ran down my back. I knew exactly who it was from.