Being beautiful isn't all) | Teen Ink

Being beautiful isn't all)

May 17, 2019
By Anonymous

Author's note:

This piece is inperied by the song Scars to your beautiful

I was insecure about my looks, body and my image. I was scared that whenever I would go outside I would be called out because of my body and face. I was ashamed of myself. I felt like I was worthless and pointless. There was no one to say that I was beautiful. I felt alone every day, I wanted to go far someday, I was scared that people will make fun of me. I was alone and helpless with no parents. The only ones I had were my grandparents, but they were too old even to walk. I knew that I would be alone for life. I never wanted to go to school, every time I went to school I would be bullied by girls and boys. I was desperate, but I couldn't do anything. I wanted to kick them and punch them, but I was scared that they would come back for revenge. I neither had friends or anyone. At lunchtime I would sit alone, sometime I would go to the bathroom to look at myself and see how ugly and bad I looked. I felt like everyone hates me because of my looks and body because it was made out of sticks. I was too done with the world and mostly myself. Going to school was worse, but going home was even worse. When I went home I would never come out of my room nor eat or drink. Every once in a while my uncle would come, but he always pretends to not see me, which give me more tension, than I had before. It felt like I was fading away from everyone. I knew that my grandparents didn't like me that much either. I knew they were old and they probably don’t like to have a kid in there home that they have to take care. Sometimes I would not even have enough food to eat, I would even give the food to my grandparents. But they would not care. I was about 99 lbs back then but now I am 49 lbs. I was skinny really skinny. Seeing myself in the mirror looked like seeing hundreds of ghosts. You could see my bones and vein. When I am walking outside some people would give me a looks. When people do that I could feel my body burning from the inside. I would run to my house. I would run upstairs to my room as fast as I could. I wanted to get away from that house I was dying there. I would feel insecure but I never had the thought of killing myself. I knew that if I wanted a better life I had to study and work hard in school. I tried to force a lot more on studying, but I would find myself lost in thought about being beautiful and looking my best like some other girls in my school, but I always forget that I had nothing. I could not get my nails done, or get spray tan. I always thought that I would never be beautiful because my eyes were small because of the tears I used to cry myself to sleep, there were pimples and zits all over my face.



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