Uncensored | Teen Ink

Uncensored

July 1, 2015
By LuisaMarie BRONZE, omaha, Nebraska
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LuisaMarie BRONZE, Omaha, Nebraska
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

The music of my violin filled the air with a graceful rejoice, even as I picked up the beat. I closed my eyes and drifted away with my music and started to sway my head. The music flowed through me like water in a slow river of tears. I was one of those girls who kept to herself and had music instead of friends, or any type of acquaintance besides my pet cat. Sad, I know, but what else does a little chubby girl have to do, besides to be by herself all the time.

To be honest, I really don't think, if you saw me, you'd take a second glace. I'm not pretty, I'm just pretty average. Normal. I stopped playing my violin and turned to look at myself in the mirror. My brown hair went down to my waist in a braid, my eyes were a dull shade of brown, and my waist wasn't small. I weighed about 190 lbs and I wasn't proud. My face was chubby and my nose was a little large, maybe too large, my lips were the average size and had lost color over the years. I hated the way I looked.

I set my violin down on my old rocking chair and went to the kitchen. I greeted my mother, though she never really pays attention to me. Same with my father, I've never really met him. It may sound  a little odd. But he's been gone my whole life. He's not dead, he's been on business trips instead of raising me. But, I think he has green eyes, maybe. And as most teenage girls, I feel out of place or rejected. But it's only Monday, so I've got to let the juices of learning and life sink in before the end of the week, as usual.

I ran- more like walked- down another flight steps for a good and healthy breakfast my mom would make, but since my mother went off to work, I'd make myself some coffee and toasted a half a bagel. I sipped my coffee and nibbled at my bagel until 7:10 in which case I got up and run/walked to grab my violin. It seemed a little too early to go to school but I wanted to practice some songs in the music room, or anywhere really. As long as someone would listen.

                                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Turned out the music room was empty, so I shrugged and I played anyways. I kinda felt like playing an original song I had written the past month. I picked up my bow and violin, closed my eyes, and slowly started to play. I felt my arms swaying along with my song, my hand moving the bow in several different directions. The tips of my fingers moving nimbly across the strings as my bow made them vibrate my surroundings, as well as myself. I inhaled deeply as my song came to an end, and with the last note, I held it out as long as I could, just making an excuse to keep playing. But as everything else in the world, it had to come to an end.

I sighed, and turned around to put it back in its rightful place, the case. Then I herd a faint clapping sound, I tried to ignore it, thinking they were clapping for someone else. But finally, when I faced the door a boy, around my age I guessed, was leaning on the frame of the door, a small grin sprend across his face.

"Are you mocking me?" I asked, closing the case.

He held both his hands up in protest, "Just thought you could use a little recognition..." he paused waiting for me to tell him my name.

"Cerise."

"Cerise," he repeated, "nice name."

I shrugged, "If you wanted to use the music room, go ahead, I was just leaving anyways."

"Nah, I was just stopping by."

"To get what?" I asked him, zipping up my backpack in the process.

"Nothing, just wanted to listen to you play."

"Not to be rude or anything, but are you new?"

He simply nodds his head, his shaggy dark brown hair falling in his aqua eyes.

I nodd my head also, finally understanding.

"I'm Sirius." he says, smiling a little bit more.

"About?" I ask.

He chuckled a little, "No that's my name."

Realization hit me, "Like the dude from Harry Potter?" Did I really just say that? I thought to myself.

"Pretty much, although my parents never really knew of Harry Potter when they named me."

I shrugged again, heaving my backpack onto my shoulder and picked up my violin case, "It was nice talking to you. I'll probably never talk to you again, bye."

"Why do you say that?" he asked, stepping closer.

"Because I'm me, and your you" I said, motioning my hands towards his chest in hesitation.

He simply rolled his eyes.

"Just wait and see Sirius," I said, "wait and see."

And with that the bell had rung for first period.

                                                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked over to Biology, the slow gears in my brain turning quicker. I walked in and there were a few seats left. I choose to sit in the back, mainly because I was tired, and I wanted to draw a little bit today. And since this was what we call 'Efforts Day' we pretty much introduced ourselves and had to make an effort to make new friends, hence the term 'Efforts Day'.

I pulled out my notebook and decided to draw eyes, maybe and animals or and actual person. I started to draw the outline of the eye, simply trying to draw an even line for once. I ended up drawing a girl crying, funny how depressing my drawings turn out to be. I looked up from my notebook, slightly, and saw Sirius sitting in front of me. Not that I cared I went back to my drawing. But this time I took out my oil pastels and charcoal. This picture was different, it was still only a sketch, but I had drawn a tree. Several branches on the ground, and the lighting from the sky had hit it. Destroying it pretty much all together. I looked at it, confused and stopped drawing and looked towards the front of the class. One at a time each kid had to say they're name, if they were new and they're age, four things they liked doing, and who they were friends with. It's stupid to me, but I do it anyways.

From the corner of my eye I saw Sirius get up from his seat and walk to the front of the class.

"Hi, My name in Sirius." he said.

Mrs. Hazel replied, "No joking around here."

"But I'm not," he turns around and picks up an expo marker and spells his name on the bored in big letters. 

The class laughs.

"I am new and 16," he spelt  that on the board as well, "I like telling jokes, talking to people I don't know,  playing my guitar,I play some sports, and listening to Cerise play her violin."

Everyone turned around and looked at me and asked, "You play the violin?"

I ignored them and Sirius continued, saying one last thing.

"And so far I've made one friend here, Cerise." smiling and satisfied, he sat back down.

I on the other hand went up to the front of the class and said, "I'm Cerise, I'm not new, I'm 16, I like drawing, playing my violin, singing, and writing-"

"You forgot to add eating!" someone yelled from the back.

"Yeah! You fattie!" another added.

"Your a waist of a very large amount of space!"

I held back my tears and said one last hing, "I know." I was done and sat down in the far back of the room where I was before, and always will be.

I set my forehead on my desk and let a few tears out before I started to draw again. I picked my head up, and started to draw the lightning, deciding to make more of it. Glowing like light, the tree, blue, with freshly started flames. I grinned a little at my drawing.

                                                                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few more classes later and it was now lunch time. You either ate in the cafeteria or outside. Most people ate in the cafeteria though, let's just steer clear of those b****es. I decided miss out on lunch today to sit outside and draw.

I found a nice spot in the shade, hiding from everyone, to sit. I walk over there and leaned my backside against the roughness of the bark. I gather what I can of my knees and lean my notebook against it, trying to complete whats left to complete of my drawing. I heard footsteps coming my way but ignored.

"Cerise, what are you doing all the way over here?" I heard Sirius ask me.

"What are you doing all the way over here?" I ask, still drawing.

"I asked first."

"I'm trying to stay away and be invisible." I told him.

"Why?"

"I have my reasons. For example... Biology. Now go away."

"Nope." he said, popping the 'p' and sitting down across from me.

"Please?" I asked again.

"So, what are you doing?"

"It's obviously none of your business." I said, still looking down.

"Hey," he said softly, "Look at me." he repeated it again, and as soft as he could manage.

"HEY SIRIUS, GET OVER HERE, OR SHE'LL PROBABLY EAT YOU!" one of his friends called over.

I looked up to see who it was and he snatched my notebook away from me.

"You little s***!" I yelled, trying to get it back.

"What is this your diary?" he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"DEAR DIARY," he said, even though there were no words in it.

I stopped moving. I barley even breathed. Nobody looks at this. NO ONE.  These where my feelings and secrets in pictures.

Even he stopped trying to fend me off, and I could see in his eyes that he was actually serious. He looked up at me, "This is, is-"

I snatched the book out from his hands, "Stupid I know."

"No, it far from it."

I grabbed my bag and clenched my notebook in hand and got up. I walked away when Sirius grabbed my shoulder. I spun on my heel, "Stay away from me, okay? I have my world with no friends and it's invisible. You have yours. Which is obviously completely visible. You'll end up being just be like those kids in Biology, I know. Just go tell your friends that I'm a big fat ugly loser who is a waist of f***ing space. That I ate 16 burritos for lunch today."

"Did you even eat lunch?"

"I don't think that's any of your business."

I hit his hand off my shoulder and started walking away. Because I knew it would be better off this way. No one likes the fat girl, nobody.



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This book has 2 comments.


KyotoMylo said...
on Jul. 9 2015 at 4:36 pm
KyotoMylo, Navarre,
0 articles 3 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes more to make a king than a broken Elvish blade" ~ Mouth of Sauron, LOTR

Just remember to keep your verb tense consistent! (:

KyotoMylo said...
on Jul. 9 2015 at 4:35 pm
KyotoMylo, Navarre,
0 articles 3 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes more to make a king than a broken Elvish blade" ~ Mouth of Sauron, LOTR

Very nice so far! You are a very talented writer with a very distinct style!