Faded Identity | Teen Ink

Faded Identity

January 29, 2021
By WinterAngel101, Vandervoort, Arkansas
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WinterAngel101, Vandervoort, Arkansas
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The wind was pointing in my direction, sending the rain like needles into my face, making my tears seem like nothing. It was a long way ahead to where I wanted to go and yet it seemed like i’d be there in another 5 minutes, I had no phone, no extra clothing, no friends that would wonder where I went, Nothing.. I was a person without a home, without a name, without an identity to call mine. 

The morning sun blinded me, opening my eyes I realized I had fallen asleep, getting to my knees I lost my balance and fell, confusion washed over me like a hawk swooping down on its prey. Sitting myself up I leaned on a tree that somehow kept me up. I had no idea where I was or what's keeping me from standing till I looked myself over, my arms were covered in bruises and cuts from running, my pants were also stained with blood. My memory remains at a fuze like I fell off something high and landed on my head, placing my hands to the ground. I slowly tried to get myself up. Wobbling and leading every which way I finally made it to my feet.

Leaning on the tree, catching my breath, as a burning feeling swarmed inside me as if I ran for hours, looking around for anything that might help me from falling over and keep me moving forward, I kept finding branches too big or too small till I came upon the perfect one. Making it to where I could lean my weight on it I began headed in a dangerous direction.

3 days have passed and my leg healed and I now walked, ran, and jogged without a feeling of my bones breaking out of my skin leaving me to die by blood loss. I don’t remember anything really about where i’m going, who my family is, or anything except a humming sound that went with the song called “sad song” and my name but that's it, when I woke up one day I was chained to a wall, something warm and sticky ran down my face and lip, men surrounding me laughing wickedly, and other girls surrounded me as well but most of them had died from either blood loss, or the trauma these people had put them through. Deep in thought I never realized the tears running down my cheeks like a stream of water that escapes a waterfall, wiping my face. I continue on my journey toward the sunset and in hope find out why I’m the one being hunted and who I really am running away from…

Another day has passed and what seem like memories cloud my head when I sleep, not all are pleasant but not all are nightmares, I remember I had a family, a brother, a sister, a mother, and a man who I thought was my father but questions cloud that title, for this man I see in my dreams was the one I seem to be running from but then again it's just the beginning of my memories returning so I can’t judge just yet. 

Walking on a very rocky road, my head throbbing with needles of pain, and my heart racing as if I'm excited. As excited as my heart may seem my face showed no emotion, it was as if my face was the deep darkness I have felt throughout my life and left it there, while my body suffered from every emotion I seemed to have buried. The trees I passed swayed with the wind like they were dancing or playing a game that involved only moving in whatever direction the wind would take them. 

My gaze stood froze on a wall that blocked the rest of my view that seemed to stretch beyond where my eyes would take me, I began to run toward it, running faster than ever, so fast that the wind seemed to revolve around me instead of knocking me off my feet, back when I reach the walls entrance it was as if I ran into it by mistake but darkness formed into my eyes and I felt my body fall to the ground without anyway of stopping I felt gone. 

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