you'll understand when you're older | Teen Ink

you'll understand when you're older

December 9, 2021
By PigeonFood, Phoenix, Arizona
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PigeonFood, Phoenix, Arizona
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Author's note:

I'm Brooklyn, I'm 13 years old and in the 8th grade. This is my second attempt at writing a novel (the first was in 6th grade and it filled up about 3 notebooks). Please note that my story isn't done yet and is a work in progress.

The author's comments:

this is just the first 2 chapters (i have 12 in total) and it's just a sample. (my actual copy of it has around 20,700 words) 

                              Chapter 1.

 

  The air was cold and the skies were cloudy as Claudia Mason walked towards the school bus. The leaves scattered across the sidewalk. It was finally Fall. Businessmen and women hurried down the streets of New York hoping to get to work on time. Claudia has lived in New York her entire life, as a city native, she knew her way around pretty well. But, that doesn’t mean she has good time management skills.
  The school bus started to pull away as Claudia ran towards it tripping over rocks and almost bumping into people. She fell to the ground with a thud, covered in dirt and with holes in her jeans. She looked up and pulled her hair away from her face only to see the bus driving away. She sighed, stood up, and kicked the sidewalk with frustration. Claudia put her hands to her face, rubbed her face, and threw her head back with a sigh. This was the 3rd time she had missed the bus this week. Claudia dusted off her jeans, and picked up her backpack, and started walking away from the bus stop. She would regret this later.

    Instead of waiting another 15 minutes for another bus, she decided to skip school. She walked to CVS about 2 blocks away. She waved to people on the streets, even saw one of her teachers. The cars filled the streets making it almost impossible to drive. Too much traffic, although that’s not surprising for New York. Claudia opened the door to CVS and looked around. There was a goth-looking kid behind the counter reading magazines and drinking from a flask.

  “Welcome to CVS,” the kid said. His voice sounded raspy, maybe he was a smoker. That’s what it sounded like at least.

  Claudia grabbed an energy drink and a pack of cigarettes. She looked up and down the isles and another customer came into the store. Then there was arguing. She decided not to eavesdrop but she heard the words “ lousy worker”. Claudia walked up to the counter and put everything on display for the worker to scan.
“Aren’t you a little young for these?” he said, holding up the pack of cigarettes.
“You don’t tell and I don’t tell,” Claudia said gesturing towards the dozens of empty chip bags behind the counter.
The goth kid nodded his head and finished scanning her items. She paid and left. Behind her, another person from the store yelled “Get back to school kid!”

     

 

 

                          Chapter 2

 

.

 

 Claudia walked down the street towards an alleyway, where she stepped into an open area. There was a fire escape that led up to a building with lots of windows. She banged on the ladders and yelled “Let me up!”

   The window opened shortly and Claudia began to climb up using the ladders into the building. She stood in an apartment living room. She closed the window slightly and a voice came from the ragged couch.
“Leave the window open. I’m trying to get rid of the smell,” somebody said.

 “Okay, sorry,” Claudia said, opening the window back up.

 “ You’re supposed to be at school aren’t you?” Claudia looked around nervously as the voice continued, ”skipping school doesn’t make you look cool Claudia. Imagine what your mother will say when she finds out you’ve run off again.”

 “Cut it out, Bill. My mother doesn’t care. She’s too busy being a drunk to notice anything I do anyways. She hasn’t cared in the past, she won’t care now,” she said, setting her things on a table and shuffling through her bag,” it’s not that big of a deal anyways.”

The TV blared in the background as Bill began to talk, he pushed his blonde wavy hair away from his eyes.

   “Poor innocent Claud hasn’t seen the real dangers of the world. You know? Life seems tough now but it gets worse. Skipping school won’t help you. It doesn’t make you cool, all it does is set you back on your path,” he said.

  “If you say so,” Claudia said plopping onto the couch and lighting a cigarette.

“You know smoking is bad for you right?” Bill said, taking a drag of his cigarette. “It ruins your lungs and can cause cancer.”

 “ Then why do you do it? Aren’t you supposed to be my ‘role model’?” she said sarcastically.

 “Who said that?” he said,” I was your brother’s friend, no one assigned me the place of your role model. Besides, I’m an adult and you are a teenager.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. You’re an adult in my life and that means you are supposed to be a role model for me,” she choked on her cigarette and turned to face Bill.

       “God, you act so tough and for no reason. We both know you’re a little teenager trying to look cool. You’re a sweet kid, Claud. Don’t let bad influences get to you. Listen, I don’t know what’s going on in that kid brain of yours but I think we can go agree it’s not necessarily a good thing. I don’t want to see you washed up on the street. I took that path and look where I am now,” he said looking around his apartment. The couch was ragged and the dishes dirty. The floor could use a good cleaning as well. Empty bottles sat on the kitchen island and cigarette trays littered the house, as he continued, “I don’t want you to end up this way. You could go live with your dad, or even in foster care and they’ll take care of you. I didn’t have someone to watch after me growing up. Granted that is how I met your brother but that’s besides the point. I took the wrong path all because I skipped school. Once or twice led to a few days a week which led to several days at a time. Eventually, it led to me dropping out before I could finish my senior year. I don’t want that for you, Claudia,” Bill said. He finished his cigarette and lit another, “Got that?”

  Claudia sat in silence for a moment. She looked at her brother’s graduation photos hanging on Bill’s wall.
“ I guess you’re right Bill. I’ll figure that out another day. Thank you, really. I don’t know if I’ve ever said it but I appreciate you a lot. Especially, after my brother left. I still never found out what happened,” she said with a genuine tone.
“I wonder too... “ Bill said with a look. He knew what happened but he wasn’t ready to tell her.

  Claudia opened the energy drink she bought and lit another cigarette, avoiding Bill’s face.
 “Didn’t I literally just tell you that smoking is bad??” He glared at her in a joking way.
 “I also said I’ll figure that out another day.”

 “God, why are you like this sometimes?” Bill said, standing up to pour himself something to drink.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, it’s not a bad thing,” he said, “but it’s also not a good thing. You always have a smart alec remark to say.” He laughed.

  Claud gave him ‘the look’. Very funny she thought to herself.

“So, since you aren’t at school even though you should be, I need you to help me clean up my place a little bit. I have some, um, friends…. coming over. But I want the place to look a little cleaner, you know? So I need you,” Bill said, handing her a trash bag,” to help me.”
 “What’s in it for me?” she said in a joking way as she took a puff of a cigarette.

  “A happy friend,” he said as he took her cigarette from her fingers and put it in an ashtray, “I told you to stop with that, Claud.”

  “I’ll help you. It’s the least I could do. What room should I start in?”

  “Any room is fine. I’m going to search for a vacuum. Thank you so much, Claudia.”

She opened the trash bag and began to throw away old papers, napkins, and paper plates. She also put the dishes in the sink to wash later. The kitchen was littered with trash. There was a pungent scent of cigarettes and alcohol. Claudia didn’t mind the smell, though. But she could tell why Bill wanted the window open. Bill came back with the vacuum cleaner and started vacuuming the living room rug. The rug sounded crunchy because of all the things being sucked into the vacuum bag.

      Claudia finished picking up the trash in the kitchen. She tied the garbage bag and began to walk it to the dumpster. She tossed the bag out the window and started to climb out of it.
 “You know there’s a door right?” Bill said

   “Yeah, but the window looks cooler and is faster.”

 “Maybe but the door is much safer. Go through the door,” he said, opening the front door, “ this way.”

    Claudia gave Bill ‘the look’ and walked out the front door, closing it behind her. She walked down the stairs and fell. She landed at the bottom of the stairs and muttered, “Yeah right, much safer.”

 When she reached the alleyway she heard a rustling noise behind the dumpster. Cautiously, she walked toward the sound, gripping onto a steel bar from the ground. She took a deep breath and pulled off the dumpster lid. Inside was a pack of rats eating old food. Claudia stood back and heaved a heavy sigh. “Thank god,” she thought.

  She threw away the trash and returned to Bill’s apartment. This time carefully walking up the stairs. Claudia walked through the front door to see the house somewhat cleaner.

 “That was quick,” she laughed.

  “I know it’s crazy! I used this crazy trick of stuffing things into the closet and under furniture!” Bill said sarcastically.

 “Is that everything?” she asked.

    “I think so. They’ll be arriving soon. Just hang out in my room or something and I'll let you know once they leave.”

  “Why? Is it unsafe?” Claudia asked. Her concern was genuine.

“Nah,” Bill said, “you're not supposed to be here remember? You are supposed to be at school. It’s also kind of a secret. You’ll understand when you get older.”

  He smiled at her with a big toothy grin. Claudia couldn't help but feel uneasy not knowing who these people were. There was a knock at the door. Bill motioned for Claudia to leave the room as he answered the door.

   She went to his room and locked the door. She could hear commotion in the other room.

 “I promise I’ll pay you back! I just need more time! Please, Bobby. I don’t have it but I will next week. Please,” Claudia heard Bill plead.

  “What is happening….” she thought to herself, “Surely it's nothing.”

 

Claudia looked around Bill's room. There were clothes all over the floor and some empty bottles on the bedside table. There was a picture of a man standing with Bill on the wall. It was her brother. He was tall and slender. They both looked happy.

  Bill’s room had seen better days. The door to his balcony was broken. There was some trash on the floor, it looked to be papers and envelopes. Claudia walked to his dresser and saw bills on the top of it. There was a letter addressed to Bill which had been ripped open. She looked around before she carefully opened it.

 “Why am I doing this? This is a bad thing to do. If Bill wanted to show people this he would have,” she thought to herself. Her thoughts were interrupted by a crash. Claudia was startled as she heard what sounded like crying.

  “Listen here Bill, and listen to me carefully. You are getting on my last nerve. Either you step up and pay what you owe or I will get it myself and you will not like that. You hear me, Bill? You hear me? Act like a big boy and figure your stuff out. You owe me so you will pay up whether you like it or not. Your daddy can't help you this time. You have 2 weeks or else I will be back,” a voice said. Claudia heard a thud on the floor and the front door opened and closed. It was slammed shut. Claudia walked out of Bill’s room and peered around the corner. She saw Bill huddled by the wall, crying. Claudia knew something was wrong, and it wasn't just from the yelling. She’s never seen Bill cry before. The big, strong, teddy bear-like guy she's known all her life was crying in fear. There was a red mark across his face.

  “Are you ok? Bill?” he ignored her while he stared into the abyss.

 “Bill?” she said again.

 “Oh, uh, hi Claud. Sorry I know my room wasn't too clean but I hope it was fine,” he stood up as if nothing happened.

 She was confused.

 “Bill… what just happened..?” she said with concern.

 “Don’t be silly Claud. What are you talking about?”

 “The yelling, and the mark on your face... You were crying..”

 “Oh, that? Don’t worry about it, kid. You’ll understand when you are older,” Bill said as he turned away from Claudia and went to the kitchen to fix himself something to eat while he lit a cigarette.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she said.

 “Nothing. It just means you’ll understand when you’re older. It wouldn’t make sense to you right now,” he said. Bill seemed to avoid the question.

 “Bill…”

 “Claudia, I understand your concern but it’s none of your business. Really. It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

 Bill ate his sandwich and sat on the couch. He took a sip from a beer can. He laid back and closed his eyes. Claudia sat down next to him and watched TV. She lit a cigarette too. Then there was a knock at the door. Bill got up to answer it.

 “Give me a minute!” he shouted as he stood up. His back cracked as he went to open the door.

   “Heyyy man!” a voice said.

   “I haven’t seen you in so long! What have you been up to?” Bill said as he hugged the person.

“What do you mean ‘so long? ' You saw me 2 weeks ago!”

“Hey, um, I don’t mean to be rude but who is this, Bill?” Claudia asked.

  “Oh. Pfft. Claudia, this is Marty. Marty, this is Claudia.”

 “Oh shoot man! Is she his-” Marty started.

  “Yes, she’s his sister. You don’t need to finish.” Bill corrected him.

 “I can see. They look alike. You know Claudia, your brother threw amazing parties. The cops even showed up a few times! God- he was something el-. Wait a minute. How old are you?” Marty said.

 “I’m 15,” Claudia said.

  “So you’re supposed to be at school right now, eh?”

Claudia nodded. “Let’s not do this again,” Bill chimed in, “ Marty, it was nice seeing you but I think you better get going. You live on the other side of town and your parents will be worried sick if you aren’t home.”

  “Always full of wisdom.” Marty said, doing jazz hands,” I’ll catch you later Bill. It was nice meeting you Claudia. See you guys around,” as he left.

  Bill closed the door and turned towards Claudia.

  “You should start heading home in a bit. You can’t hang around here all day.”

“Whatever you say, bossman,” Claudia said, doing finger guns at Bill.

 “Yeah, never call me that again,” he said, pushing away Claudia’s hands.

“Okay,” she said, looking at the floor.

 Bill picked up Claudia’s backpack off the floor and handed it to her.
 “Here's your stuff. You should start heading back,” he checked his watch,” It’s already 3 o’clock.”

  “Alright, Bill. I’ll see you later.”

Claudia grabbed her bag and headed out the window.  

 “What did I tell you about the window?” Bill asked.

 “This time it is faster. I’m going down that street right there,” she said pointing out the window.

 “Fine, but when you fall off the steps it won’t be my fault,” he said.

 Claudia laughed. She grabbed her backpack from Bill and hugged him. His face was still red from the mark.

 “See you around Bill.”

“Bye Claud,” he laughed.



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