Everyone Has a Purpose. | Teen Ink

Everyone Has a Purpose.

January 24, 2012
By barrelrcer14, Jackman, Maine
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barrelrcer14, Jackman, Maine
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Favorite Quote:
"If you're not making dust, you're eating it."


Birds sung a desperate song in the harmony of the high Montana Mountains; the evening sun, a scorching orange, hardly touched the tips of the sky blue mountains. A warm August breeze rippled through the peaceful air, rustling stiff colorful leaves across the patched grass in the huge meadow. A rhythmic click started to come along the white wooden fence, and a sharp whinny screeched through the silence of the farm.

A large bay gelding came into view, glossy mane and tail shimmering in the dying light, muscles gleaming and bouncing in excitement under the blood bay dappled coat. Another sharp whinny pierced through the air, his graceful neck bowing elegantly as the giant gelding pounded along, black nostrils flaring.

The horse’s back legs were masked over with two huge white stockings, and its face was coated completely white, his chocolate brown eyes gleamed with excitement and wonderment. The horse slid to a stop at the metal gait, throwing dirt in every direction. He screeched again, and began to pace, bobbing his head in anxiety and frustration.

The screen door slammed loudly and a slender figure bolted across the old wrap around porch, charging down the steps. Honey blond ringlets swayed swiftly over the tiny built back of the girl, her blistering green eyes scorching under the gorgeous sunset. She took off across the dirt driveway, her fingers grasping at the humid summer air, twining her fingers effortlessly in the gentle breeze.

A burst of laughter escaped from her fleshy pink lips as she saw the big bay horse’s eyes light up at the sight of her. Her breaths came in pants as she stopped sharply in front of the gait, throwing her slim arms around the horse’s nose in recognition. “Belmont!” She half screamed in excitement, her stomach littered with butterflies.

The horse’s ears flattened against his silky black mane and he jerked out of the girl’s grip, staring at her with complete frustration, his dark brown eyes studying her expression intently. Jamie couldn’t help but smile. “What?” she whispered, her musical tone filling the eary silence. Belmont bowed his head again and started to paw at the gate, his thick metal shoes clanking obnoxiously against the flashy, clean metal.

Jamie leaned over the gait, slapping her hand across the horse’s broad chest. “You stop that.” She snapped sternly. Her smile was fading, but her emerald green eyes were still twinkling with happiness. She stepped on the bottom bar of the gate, letting her spurs roll against the dirt as she did so. She reached up and ran her fingers through the horse’s thick black forelock. She quivered as the pleasurable bliss wafted through her hand and up her arm. Belmont snorted at her and looked away, his shiny black ears slanting backwards in annoyance.

Jamie threw a glance at the old white farm house; the paint was chipping in the corners, old automobile pieces withering away in the overgrown front lawn. Her soft hand grabbed a hold of a bright red lead rope and she swung it over the big horse’s head, just behind his ears, and looped it loosely under the beginning of his throat.

She stepped off the gate, and after fiddling with the latch, she pushed the shiny metal piece open and clicked softly, making enough room for the large gelding to pass through. Belmont lifted up his head with pride, his nostrils flaring out once more, his eyes shimmering with excitement and attention. Jamie smiled and ran her small soft hand against the gelding’s cheek, letting her fingertips drift through his stiff short brown hair.

Jamie led him into the barn slowly, she pulled him down the old dirt aisle way and over to the tack room. Belmont’s large muscular body hardly fit down the aisle, his broad chest rubbed against the old wooden wall that connected to a very large box stall. Jamie bent into the tiny tack room and began to dig around beneath the old tack and blankets, littered over the floor. Belmont leaned forward, ears up. He sniffed the arch in her back before stepping backwards. He lowered his head and nudged her butt hard, sending her toppling forward atop the junk.

She screamed and laughed, stuffing her free hand down into the soft rubbish. “Found it.” She whispered, a slight smile spreading over her angelic face. She lifted a black bridle, the leather was worn and soft, the bit rounded and worn. She rolled onto her heels and lifted herself to her feet, stepping out of the cramped little room. She rubbed Belmont’s soft muzzle and pulled the bridle out from behind her back slowly.

Belmont’s ears flew backwards and he tried to step away, his shoulder blade twitching with hesitation. “Whoa, easy baby.” Jamie whispered softly. She waited for him to relax before she pulled the old piece of leather onto his head. She grabbed the hard spot on his upper neck gently to keep him in place and shifted her weight to her left foot. She pushed her small pointer finger into the corner of his mouth, feeling along the fleshy damp gum until she found the edge of his tongue. She pushed her finger down on top of the slimy muscle and clicked softly. Belmont raised his head and his mouth gaped open, his large tongue flittering around his mouth uncomfortably.

Jamie stood on her tippy toes and pulled the soft leather bridle up over his ears, gently sliding the bit inside of his mouth. She made sure that the cold metal bit was settled on top of his pale pink tongue before she strapped the cheek piece in place. Jamie took the red lead rope off from around his throat and tossed it carelessly in the tack room.

“Come on, boy.” She whispered softly, taking the faded leather reins that had been dangling a few inches above the dirt floor. She pulled the horse forward and Belmont pranced excitedly, his hooves were seemingly already ripping up dirt, his knees bouncing in agony to run. Jamie flicked the leather reins over his head as he was walking and put her slender hand on his hardy withers.

Belmont’s head flew up and he lurched forward in a swift jog. Jamie clung on, her fingers wrapping around the reins. She lugged herself up onto his back, her thighs clinging to his dark sides. Jamie jogged him out of the barn and pulled back onto the reins, looking around the small, run down farm. She jerked the young horse to a stop and let her gaze fluttered around. Her eyes rested on the old cow pasture gate.

Jamie shifted on his back and squeezed his sides with her spurs swiftly. She let the reins slip through her fingers, and clung to them once he had about a foot of face room. The gelding, feeling the pressure of the spurs and the slack of rein, jerked forward in a swift canter, both ears forward. Jamie’s body moved with his like music, her hips matching his strides as each large hoof hit the hard compacted dirt.Jamie steered him toward the fence gate and rolled her old spurs against his sides once more. She could feel his muscles tensing under her with eager excitement and power. The horse surged forward even more, his head flew up, trying to gain more speed. Jamie jerked against his face and took in a little more rein, not really wanting him to pull a ligament after the jump.

Jamie’s bright green eyes were locked on the ground before them, it was almost like everything was in slow motion. She counted his strides slowly, 1…2…3…4…5…6 Her hands went up and rested just behind his ears, the reins now loosely hung between her fingertips and his mouth. She got into position just as the large gelding soared up and off the ground; his muscular back was pulsing with adrenaline.

Belmont landed smoothly and instantly tried to take off, his eyes were glistening with energy, his breath lolling from his nostrils. Jamie jerked back on his face again and pulled his face up tight, pulling him into a collected canter. The gelding groaned in frustration and snorted, but did as she asked. Jamie watched as the sun kissed the tops of the mountain, and she felt the warm August air began to chill.

A road began to come into sight; Jamie slowed the large horse to a slow jog and to a quick stop next to the tar. She looked both ways before urging him forward. She noticed the large ditch on the other side of the road, and realized how deathly wet it looked. Belmont lurched forward, his sides drenched in sweat. He hopped over the ditch with ease, and slowed to a quick walk almost directly after his hooves retouched the ground.

Jamie ran her small hand over his sweaty shoulder and smiled, “Good boy, you want a break, don’t you?” She cooed softly. Belmont lowered his head and swatted boredly at flies, regaining each breath coolly. Jamie looked at the oncoming clouds, a deep gray mist was hovering not even a mile from them. She nibbled her bottom lip and shifted in her seat once more, realizing that her light denim jeans were wet with her gelding’s sweat.

Nearly half an hour later, the sun was completely gone. The moon was glistening in the lower sky, and the clouds had been advancing on them with every gusty wind. Jamie shivered and turned Belmont around, surprised that they had actually gotten this far. She kissed softly and the gelding picked up his head and broke into a quick nervous canter. Jamie just wanted to get home. She was exhausted and cold, her dank pants rubbing against her soft legs.

Jamie let nearly all of the reins slip through her fingers, and she tapped her spurs against the large horse’s sides. Belmont shot forward like a bullet, his stride eating up the dirt. Jamie moved with his vicious movements easily, letting her body move with his shoulders like music.

The gelding was ripping up the distance much faster than before, tearing through the night like a monster. Jamie knew that the gelding was going to have a hard time to see in the dim light, but she trusted him completely. A light rain began to dribbled over her cold skin, and then, as if someone had flicked on a switch, it began to pelt both her and Belmont. Jamie gave him more head, letting her thumbs rest on the thick mane behind his ears. She leaned forward, letting the gelding stretch his strides out.

She could hardly see through the thundering rain, but she knew the worn path like the back of her hand. The road advanced quickly, almost completely hidden by the darkness and rain. The moon was hiding behind the dark clouds and thunder boomed off in the distance. Jamie was lost in the rhythmic beating of Belmont’s hooves, gaining speed with every stride.

Belmont front hooves slid on the ditch edge, and confusion stiffened through his body, as well as Jamie’s. Jamie was lurched forward as the gelding tried to stop short, trying to avoid slipping farther. His body launched forward, front hooves searching for the other side of the bank. Jamie was jerked backwards from the motion, and she was caught in a blind panic.

Everything felt as though it was in slow motion, each blink came slower then the next. She felt as though Belmont had frozen in midair. A strong bolt of lightning lit up the sky, revealing a car speeding towards them, headlight dimmed to nearly nothing. Jamie watched from the corner of her eye in terror. She felt his front hooves reach the bank, and felt as he stumbled onto the slippery tar.

Belmont was struggling against his own weight, his dark chocolate eyes caught sight of the car. Jamie’s fingers were woven into his mane, clinging to him with her legs. He fell, his hooves clanking loudly against the soaked road. Jamie felt his weight crushing her, pinning her to the cold tar. She watched as the lights grew closer, heard a thundering horn, and everything went black and still.
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*Beep…beep…beep.* ‘What the hell is that? Wait…where am I?’ Jamie’s thoughts were delayed; she fought to open her eyes. ‘Am I dead?’ she thought, fear running through her slender little body like a flood. She felt pain in her left leg and her ribs. ‘No way, no way. I must be having some screwed up dream or something… mom?!?!’

Her fingertips bristled across a crinkly stiff sheet. Her eyelids fluttered open and her dull green eyes searched around her in a panic. The walls were a blinding white, a small window was in the corner of the room, light bursting through the thin white blind. Jamie squinted and let her gaze drift onto her body. She was in some kind of strange robe, tubes in her wrists. Her eyes widened and she jerked her oxygen mask off. The monitor next to her began to beep faster and faster as her heart rate increased. She ripped at the tubes in her arms, tears filling her eyes.

A strong rough hand snatched her wrist before she could free herself. She stopped moving, holding her breath. The tears were in the lip of her eyes, begging to be dropped. Slowly, she lifted her gaze from the tubes, to the hand. She stared at it, studied the oil stains on the fingers, the rough calluses on the edge of the palm. Her gaze ran up the arm slowly and skipped up to a face. A broad man was hovering above her, in work clothes, stained with grease. An old baseball cap was casting a shadow over his face, but, from what she could see, he had a hard expression.

“D-dad?” Jamie choked the words, letting them fall awkwardly between her and the man. The hand released her wrist, and pulled her against his chest in a tight embrace. Jamie linked her arms around his neck, the tears now streaming down her face. “Daddy…” she whispered nearly silently in relief.

The man rubbed her slender back and tried to be as careful as possible, “Lie down sweetheart, how are you feeling? Are you alright? Do you remember anything?” Jamie could feel the stinging pain in her ribs, but she ignored it, wondering more of what he was asking from her. ‘Remember? Feeling? Alright? What on earth is he blabbering about now?’

Jamie pulled out of his arms and laid down, a confused expression cast over her face. “What are you talking about?” Jamie’s father turned and grabbed a chair, dragging it to the bedside. He sat down and took his hat off, smoothing out his light brown hair. He had a five o’clock shadow, and had an usually grim expression on his face.

“Well darling…” he began, staring at the sheets next to her. The door on the other side of the room flew open and a doctor rushed in, “Mr. Thomas, Mr. Thomas, may I speak to you in private?” he asked eagerly, his old face riddled with concern. Jamie stared at him blankly, she looked over his laugh lines, his crow’s feet, his papery old skin. She stared at his snow white hair, and then down the light green medical suit.

Jamie’s father slowly got to his feet and followed him out the door, leaving Jamie alone with her thoughts once more. ‘Where is he taking him?’ she wondered, taking another look around the room. ‘Wait…why am I in here again?’ She paused, her mind blank. ‘Think Jamie…think….’ She closed her eyes in a desperate attempt to find answers. Nothing. She couldn’t think of anything, it was almost like someone had just taped over her memory, like an old VCR tape.

Jamie’s gaze caught on a TV across the room, the small black screen reflecting the light from the window. Jamie looked around and reached out to the table beside her, grabbing an old gray remote. She squinted down at the buttons and pressed *POWER*. She looked across the room as the tv light slowly began to turn on, warming itself up.

Pictures fluttered across the screen, with no sound. Advertisement, like usual. She sighed and cranked the volume, flipping through a few channels. A horse flipped across the screen of a channel just before she changed it, and her eyebrows pulled together. She flipped back to it and her heart sank to her stomach. A news woman was standing in a road, an old white van in the background, the front end completely smashed in.

The reporter’s blond hair was a mess, drifting carelessly in the breeze. Jamie cranked the volume up even more, so that the words were nearly echoing around the room. “Witnesses say that the crash happened last week around 9 o’clock. It was stormy that night, and frankly hard to see. A man was driving home from work, when, from out of nowhere- he hit a teenage girl on horseback. The girl, a local here at Pine Ridge, was riding home that night, when her horse slipped on the tar, and was crushed by the oncoming van. The girl is currently in critical condition.”

Jamie’s eyes filled up with tears. She stared at the van, at the scenery, at the woman. She recognized the area, but didn’t remember anything about last week…a storm? 9? The camera flicked to a man with a microphone in hand, his bald head dull on the gloomy day.

“They appeared out of nowhere… I didn’t mean to do any harm, but the road was so slick… my van was caught in a deep puddle, and it sucked me in, I couldn’t turn. I did all I could, and I was sure she was dead… I’m just glad that she’s okay.”

A picture floated on the bottom right corner. A girl was sitting up on a dark bay gelding, a huge smile on her face. In her hand was a large blue ribbon, her green eyes were gleaming with pride. Jamie’s heart sank lower. She leaned over the bed and puked in the bed pan. She was in shock, her mind was everywhere…

I pressed my temple to the cold stiff glass of the window and watched as the fields flew past in a white blur. My breath was lingering in the cool air in front of my face, steaming the window where I had been looking from. “Jamie honey, it’s so nice to have you come home.” Her mother cooed softly, staring at her in the rearview mirror.

I flicked my gaze towards her, studying her brilliant gray eyes as she stared. I gave her an ugly grimace and turned my gaze back to the window. A familiar little mail box came into view, the word *Thomas* engraved deep in the light brown wood with red paint. I felt empty, as if someone had sucked all of my happiness out with some sort of magic vacuum or something.

The truck eased to a stop, the squeaky breaks tearing the eerie silence. “Is Brad home?” I asked softly, in a tone just above a whisper. I was surprised by how scratchy my voice sounded, how weak. I watched from the corner of my eye as my mother shoved the gear in park and glanced back at me, “No, dear, not yet. He should be back within a few days…”

I sighed, ‘Of course.’ I thought angrily, ‘The on time that I ACTUALLY need to talk to him, and he’s not around. Wonderful. Simply peachy.’ I waited until I heard the engine die before swinging open the old Toyota door. I felt as my soft palm bristled across the rusty wet edge.

The cold attacked me from every angle, nipping at my bare arms and exposed face and neck. I turned my hips so I was facing the chill, and snatched my crutches from the front seat. I slid out of the truck carefully, letting my good leg hit the frozen dirt first. “Sweetheart, do you need any help?” My mother called from the other side of the truck, slamming her door shut.

“No, no, I got it.” I murmured back, resting my gaze on the thigh-high royal purple cast. I eased out of the truck completely and shoved the crutches under my armpits, slamming the truck door with my shoulder. I could feel with every agonizing moments that stitches pulling against my side, my ribs throbbing and aching.

‘Stupid doctors. ‘Pain killers’ my ass.’ I thought angrily, awkwardly crutching to the bottom of the porch steps. I felt trepidation creep up through me as I eyed the icy steps. “Um…mom??” I called out into the cold. No answering call. I sighed and gingerly put each crutch on the first step, pulling myself up. I repeated this process three times until my old sheepskin slipper touched the actual porch.

I crutched across it slowly and opened the screen door, slipping inside. Everything looked the same, smelled the same. There were still the same pictures on the walls, the same colored floors, the same tv… the same mess of clothes spewed everywhere at the bottom of the stairs. I sighed and stiffly crutched for the living room, seeking rest.

My father followed me, I could nearly feel him breathing down my neck. “Hi daddy” I muttered, carefully setting down on the couch. My father was just staring at me, smiling. His green eyes were twinkling, his dimples showing broadly in the bright lighted living room. “What…?” I arched an eyebrow, studying his suspicious expression.

“I got somethin’ for you.” He half whispered, cupping his hand over the side of his mouth so only I could see his lips. My eyebrows drew together, “Me?” I whispered back in astonishment. My father smiled again, “Yes, you. Can you walk?”

“Do you really think I can walk?” I snapped back harshly, my temper flaring up like an untamed demon. Everything seemed different to me now. I couldn’t get over anything, it was almost like that stupid car had actually knocked some sense into my thick head. I mean, how was I so happy all the time? That was just weird. It’s so much easier to be angry, right?

I watched as my father’s expression fell in disappointment, but then lifted back up when he realized what he had been saying. He sat down next to me, revealing a black folder from beneath the couch. He dropped it in my lap, studying my face with every movement, trying to sense emotion, I suppose.

My fingers drifted over the smooth black surface and I gently opened the folder up, gazing down at a stack of papers. The first one had a large black gelding plastered on it, with one hind cornet white, and a large star on his forehead. I stared at the words around the picture, they looked distant and foggy. I could feel warm liquid running down my face, and anger rising up in me again.

I didn’t understand what was happening; it was like I wasn’t in control. I watched as my hand flung the folder back into my father’s lap angrily, I felt my lips forming words. Angry words. I watched as his expression fell down to a disappointed anguish and slowly get to his feet. I realized, just as he disappeared in the next room, that there were tears streaming down my face, falling helplessly into my lap.




--------------7 Months Later--------------

“Jamie! Are you ready for school?!” My mother’s voice boomed through the house like thunder. I ran the straightener through my now dark brown short hair. “Yea mom, chill out! I’m coming.” I called back, pushing off my old pink bedspread. The walls were plain, all of the horse posters off and away. The photo frames, which had once were filled Jamie and Belmont were now filled with her and her friends…and her new boyfriend, Tommy.

I bent down and snatched my book-bag, turned for the door to leave. My gaze caught something in the mirror, and I stopped dead. I walked over to it slowly and stared at myself. My dark brown hair brought out my bright green eyes more, as well as the eyeliner and mascara around them. My gaze fell to the bottom right hand corner of the mirror.

A little picture was crammed between the glass at the wood, me, at 13, on top of Belmont, holding a bright blue ribbon, smiling broadly and proudly at the world for my triumphs. Ha, yea right. I leaned over and snatched the picture, crinkling it in my hand without thinking. I chucked it in the trash bin and continued on my way to the door.

I walked down the hallway and swiftly jogged down the stairs, letting my hair bounce and bob around my face. My mother almost ran into me as she turned out of the living room, “Let’s go, you’re going to be late. Again.” I rolled my eyes and walked out the door, heading for her van. “You know, Rain, everyone else’s moms have cool cars.” I glanced back at her.

I saw her rolled her eyes in an exasperated motion, “Oh boo hoo. And would it kill you to call me mom every once in a while?” I jerked opened the passenger door and hopped in, “Actually, it would.” I snapped, slamming the door.

‘Once again, the anger. Breath in….breath out…. Breath in…. breath out. God! How come she makes me so mad? I mean, really! Urghh. This is so frustrating. I just can’t wait for the game toni-‘ My mother interrupted my train of thought before I could finish. “Jamie, you’re to come straight home afterschool, understand?” I threw her a look, “Yes, of course.”

“I have to go to New York for a few days to help Aunt Sue. So I’m counting on you to NOT leave the house, and to NOT get in any trouble while I’m gone….understand?” She threw me a stern look. I scowled back at her, “Of course, Rain. I understand” I watched as she sighed and turned onto the main street before looking back out the window.

My head was rushing as the car eased to a stop. I felt my arm open up the door, and felt myself lift my body up and out of the little maroon car, but I didn’t think about it- everything at school came manually, almost as if I were I robot. I didn’t even look back as I heard the car ease back through the traffic. My eyes were stuck on the large brick building, *WARNER HIGH* tattooed in large broad letters just above the heavy white metal doors.

I shuffled my feet across the cement walkway and pushed the doors open, the strong smell of papers and desperation wafted over me like a flood. There were teenagers everywhere, girls gossiping near lockers, the football players shoving each other around, the nerds trying to get to class without being knocked over. It was hectic. A large hand wrapped around my wrist and my gaze quickly shot up to its owner. A tall lean man was standing next to me, broad smile over his lips. He had longish blond hair and was wearing a black ‘Greenday’ shirt.

“Tommy! Heyy.” I flashed him a little smile. He released his grip from my wrist and ran a hand through his hair, “We still on for tonight?” My smile grew and I stepped closer to him, “My mom’s gone tonight, so I’ll meet you at the party?” He grinned and gave me a quick peck on the lips, “You bet. Wear something cute.” He turned and began to walk away.

“What, I don’t even get a ‘bye’ now?!” I called after him teasingly. He waved over his shoulder without turning around. I huffed, letting the motion roll throughout my shoulders. ‘Why does he do this to me? Really? Jamie, shut up. He’s not the affectionate type, remember? LALALALALALALA, what common sense?! I can’t hear youuu!’

I spun on my heels and headed to class, knowing that today would be more than just sleeping and misbehaving, but actually thinking about what to wear to that damn pool party… why must life be so complicated??

…The bell rang overhead and I grabbed my English assignment, heading for the door. “Have a good weekend, class!!” the old man from behind the large desk called. I hadn’t noticed how the desk nearly swallowed him until now. I walked of the room, and into the flood of students, all rushing for the doors. ‘Ah… how wonderful,’ I thought, ‘getting trampled before the weekend even begins…fantastic.’

I hurried to my locker and dumped my notebook off, grabbing my bag from the floor. I pushed through the crowd of people to the door and half jogged outside, looking both ways. A smile fluttered across my face once more as evil thoughts drifted through my mind. I walked into the parking lot slowly, looking around for my best friend, Ally.

I felt someone snatch me from behind, slender arms tearing around me. I screamed, and felt the jolt of laughed flow through the person holding me. I jerked out of their grip and whipped around. A girl with bright red hair was curled over laughing, her arms around her gut. She was wearing a ton of makeup around her eyes, and was wearing a tight leather tank top and short shorts with black fishnets beneath them, half torn off by her right calf. She wasn’t much taller the 4”11.

“Ally! Don’t do that to me!” I slapped her on the shoulder blade, embarrassment falling over me like a rag. The girl gasped for breaths and looked up at me, brown eyes filled with joyful tears. “Oh boy, Jamie. You should have seen yourself! Ridic.!” I shook my head and started for her car, “Shut up. Let’s just go already? I have to get ready for the party tonight…”

Ally fell in step next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, “Poor little naïve Jamie, thinks the boy is in love… he’s only using you, I hope you know that.” He words stung like a crack of a whip. I jerked away from her touch, “Don’t be a b**** Allison.” I snapped back, jerking open the dented passenger door to the old white car.

Ally simply shrugged and got into the driver side. I threw my bag in and hopped in on top of it, slamming the door shut. I was outraged. ‘Why would she say that? Really? What a jerk. What a liar. She has NO idea what she’s talking about. Urghhh, so frustrating! But what if she’s right? Shut up, common sense! Once again, arguing with myself… wonderful.’

Ally jerked the car onto the road, pressing the top of her foot on the gas pedal, making the car lurch forward onto the road. The slick dark road sped down beneath the old white car. Ally’s black and red highlighted hair rippled through the breeze of the window, her bangs falling over her dark brown eyes.

I glanced over at her and silently looked away. ‘Her house isn’t far from here…’ I thought, ‘Just a few more minutes… then time for makeovers.’ I couldn’t help but smile at the thought, I could feel the butterflies forming in my lower stomach from the anxiety of going to another party without my mum’s permission. Adrenaline, baby!

Ally’s car jerked swiftly to the side and she let out a little squeal of glee. I threw another glance at her, the butterflies fading. “Al, can I ask you a serious question?” I watched as Ally’s bright brown eyes turned from the slick road to my face. “Uh, yea, sure…” she sounded hesitant and unsure of what I wanted.

“What do you think my dad would say if he saw me now?” I flashed her a bright teasing smile, the corners of my lips twirling. Ally laughed and looked back at the road, “I think he’d be pretty damn surprised. I mean, you went from a nasty little farm girl to a cool cat like me. Who wouldn’t be surprised?” She elbowed my side and we both broke out into laughter.

The car slid to a sharp stop within seconds of our laughter and I looked around, frankly surprised that we were already at her broken up trailer. The paint around the little trailer was chipping, the small yard overgrown with weeds. There was a broken down rusty car next to the beat up old trailer, and the front window had been taped with duct tape.

“Home sweet home.” Ally muttered, killing the engine. I glanced at her before pulling my door open and stepping outside. The strong must of rain was lingering in the midday air. I stretched and headed for the tilted door without saying a word. I hadn’t realized how tired I was, until right then.

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Jamie touched the old wrinkly white bed sheets and gazed across the room at Ally. She was in the middle of picking out a set of clothes for Jamie to wear, her head buried in a small cramped closet. “Hey Ally?” she called, running a hand through her dark brown, dead straight hair. Ally shifted her weight from foot to foot. “What?” she called back, annoyance ringing high in her pitchy voice.

“What would you do if Justin tried to get in bed with you? ”Jamie was talking as if she were on the other side of a large house, not 10 feet away. Ally broke out in laughter, “You have GOT to be kidding me, right? I’d do him. Then I’d do him again. Then again, and a-“ Jamie cut her off, “Okay okay, I get it.” The words fell from her words quietly, no emotion showing.

Ally pulled out a skimpy black silk dress and tossed it to Jamie, “Try it on.” She demanded, raising a thin black eyebrow. Jamie looked over the garment and made a face, “Ally…there’s like nothing here…” Ally flashed her a big bright smile and said nothing more, as if the wrong words would ruin the moment. Jamie huffed and undressed, jerking the piece of silk up over her hips and pulled the fabric into place.

The dress shimmered in the dying light, the fabric clung close to Jamie’s skin. It was strapless, and pretty plain. The dress ended straight at her knees, with no flare, no sparkles, no uniqueness at all. Ally clapped her hands, “Yay! It looks wonderful!” Jamie stared at Ally’s silver sparkly short dress, then down at her own.

“It’s a little boring…don’t you think?” Jamie raised both her eyebrows and stared back at Ally questionably. Ally grabbed a pair of black scissors from the old cluttered dresser and giggled. “We can fix that. Turn around.” Jamie grinned and spun on her heels, turning her slender back towards Ally.

Ally smoothed the dress out carefully and started to clip holes on the right side of Jamie’s back, starting just above her bra line and ending where her underware would be. The holes were very small, and basically invisible. “So, just holes?” Jamie questioned confused. Ally didn’t answer her. She stuck her finger in the top hole and ripped it sharply to the left, leaving a huge gash in the fabric.

Jamie was shocked, she threw a glance behind her but stayed still and quiet as Ally ripped each hole, one by one. After every hole was ripped, Ally grabbed Jamie’s shoulder and spun her in a half circle so that she was facing her. Ally took the scissors once more and cut Jamie a dramatic V in her shirt. Ally looked her over and smiled, “Walla!”

Jamie looked herself over and walked across the room to a mirror with a crack through the middle. She turned and looked over her shoulder at her back. In the middle of the dress there were gashes, only a thin piece of material separating each gash. They were evenly spaced, and the same length. The middle piece had been rolled to look like an expensive designer dress.

A gasp escaped Jamie’s lips, “Oh, Allison!” was all she could say, her green eyes sparkling in amazement. Ally laughed and grabbed her cellphone, “Let’s go. We’re going to be late… well, later then fashionably late…” Jamie glanced at the clock and whistled, “9?! Wow, time really flies…” Ally was already out of the bedroom and heading for the main door, “When you’re having fun!” she called over her shoulder.

Jamie rolled her eyes and followed behind her. She watched at Ally stopped short at the door. “What the hell! It’s raining! RAINING!” Jamie looked out the screen door and huffed, “Yes, Ally, rain is falling from the sky…” she trailed off, rolling her eyes again. She slid past her and ran down the steps. She stumbled in the tall black high heels but reached the car, jerking the passenger door open. She slid inside and waited patiently.

Ally followed her out soon after. She hopped into the car dripping wet and hair blown from the wind. She started up the car and shivered, “Stupid wind. Raped my hair.” She muttered, jerking the car onto the road. Jamie laughed and gazed out the window silently, watching as the shadowy figures flew by the car in a foggy haze. She listened to the steady pounding of water on the roof, at the whistling of water rushing under the car. Memories began to flood in front of her vision. Speed…pain…fear…headlights… She could nearly feel the pulsing energy from the mountain of flesh beneath her; feel the muscles tensing and un tensing. She could feel the cold rain pounding her skin like little knives, feel the warm body beneath her tense, flip, and crush her against the cold dark. She saw as the headlights grew closer, and everything was in slow motion.

She gasped for air and her eyes flew open. Ally slammed on the breaks and stared at her, “Jamie?! Jamie, are you all right?!” There was a high level of concern in her voice. Jamie looked around in a panic and slowly began to calm. “Just a nightmare…just a nightmare…” she repeated to herself in a whisper, her face was blank and emotionless.

Ally looked at her for a few more seconds before she eased the car back into motion. Jamie stared out the window again, forcing her eyes to stay open. She felt like a prisoner behind the mask of exhaustion. Her fingertips brushed across the cold hard glass, her eyelids feeling heavier every second.

Something off in the distance caught her attention, a bright string of colorful lights. There was a variety of cars lined up and down the street, nearly hidden by the rain and darkness. Jamie perked up and raised her eyebrows, feeling more alert. Ally honked the horn excitedly and spun the little car into the narrow paved driveway.

A large house stood before them, the deep blue siding standing out dramatically in the darkness. There were a few people standing out front in the rain, holding red disposable cups, laughing. Jamie threw a glance at Ally and smiled. “This should be fun.”

Ally laughed, “Yes, yes it shall.” She jerked the car onto the front lawn from the lack of parking spaces. Jamie watched as she killed the engine and hopped out, heading for the door without even waiting for her. Jamie huffed and got out, jogging after her stiffly.

Jamie couldn’t help but feel the butterflies returning as the wooden front door swung open. Highschoolers were packed in the large house, the lights were purple and flickering on and off. Music was rattling the walls, and the teens seemed to be loving it; everyone looked pretty drunk and their bodies were pressed together as they dirty danced.

Ally slid in between a few guys and disappeared within the compacted bodies. Jamie looked around and drifted away from the door, keeping a shoulder to the wall. “Tommy?!” She called out. Someone accidently shoved her and her slender figure flew forward. She stumbled in her heels and caught herself on a white doorframe.

The walls were golden and hidden by the flashing lights. She gazed through the doorframe for a second, realizing that the actual lights were on in there, and it looked as if it were the kitchen. The walls were a blistering white, the counters a black granite. She saw Tommy’s best friend, Jon, leaned over a few Budweiser’s, texting.

She walked in and smoothed her dress out, flashing him a big bright smile. “Hey, Jon!”


“Oh, hey” he hardly looked up from his phone, his ocean blue eyes locked on the bright screen. “Have you seen Tommy anywhere?” Jamie asked, her emerald green eyes searching his face. She watched as he ran a hand threw his sandy blond hair, turning his attention to her fully. “Hmmmm?” He asked, his thin eyebrows arching up questionably.

“Tommy.” Jamie repeated, looking around. She couldn’t help but noticed how clean the kitchen looked, rom the polished stainless steel fridge to the stainless steel fridge. Everything looked spotless. She turned her gaze back to Jon, to find him looking her up and down approvingly, he looked lost within the dress.

“What are you staring at?” Jamie asked teasingly, letting each word drag from her lips in a flirting manner. Jon laughed and shook his head, holding a red cup out to her. Jamie shook her head and put her hand up in refusal. “No, uh, I don’t drink…” she trailed off awkwardly. Jon laughed, “It’s just tea. Calm down.”

Jamie’s face flushed red and she took it, “Well, in that case…” she took a swig off it and raised her eyebrows, “This is really sweet” Jon grinned, “Thank ya!” He teased, a new broad smile playing over his lips. Jamie smacked his shoulder and laughed, “Not you, the drink stupid.”

After nearly five drinks Jamie began to feel giddy. ‘Must be a sugar rush…’ She thought, but all she could see was haze. Her vision was skipping scenes, like a bad Lifetime movie. She was laughing, watching Jon try to talk, and only hearing a blank slur. Blackness. Now, she was in Tommy’s arms, her lips tracing up his neck slowly. She could feel his hands on her waist, his neck muscles twitching as he talked to one of his friends. Blackness. The next scene puzzled her, she was hurryingly buttoning up her shirt. Tommy was in his skater jeans on the bed, and he looked pretty mad. She could feel a stinging pain on her left cheek. Blackness.

‘Well, it’s pretty hard to put a puzzle together when half the pieces are missing, isn’t it? Wait…what happened to the party? Why can I only see BLACKNESS? Am I dead? Oh s***, I hope I’m not dead. Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead. Jamie! Get a grip! My god, you baby! Here we go again…’

Jamie’s eyes flew open and she looked around. Her head was throbbing, her eyes hurt. Her mouth was dry and hot. Her gaze shifted around her bright bedroom, the dark red walls absorbing the light streams floating through the large double windows on the other side of the room. Her gaze drifted over her messy floor, she stared at the dirty clothes and trash littered over the dark polished wood flooring.

Something hard crinkled under her hand. Her dull green eyes flicked to it, a small piece of paper folded beneath her palm. Jamie groaned and rolled over, crinkling the paper. She squished it in her hand and jerked her arm across the bed up to her face. She slowly unwrinkled the paper and squinted at the black words written down in neat cursive writing.

*Hun, this is your Aunt. You’re in big trouble. I can’t believe you would do that to me after everything I do to you. Your mother is PISSED. She called your father. He’ll be picking you up at noon, weather you’re ready or not. Signed- Aunt Joline.*

Jamie read it over a few times and shot up erectly, staring at her digital clock. The blistering blue light was glaring at her, 11:36 scrawled across in bright numbers. Jamie threw a glance out the window and started to sloppily pull her sweat pants on, throwing the little black dress across the room.

She was trying to hurry, but it was almost like her body wasn’t working. She felt numb, her headache was blistering, throbbing against her skull agonizingly. “Jamie?!” A voice boomed from the bottom of the stairs, the sound seemingly rattled her slender figure. She quickly jerked a tee shirt on and glanced In the mirror, quickly taking a double take.

She stared at herself for a long while, not recognizing any of her features. She stared at her mussed up hair, her river of black makeup arching down her cheeks, and her eyes… oh boy, what had happened to them? One was black and blue, nearly swollen shut, and the other was bright red and bloodshot.

Someone began to stomp up the stairs, heavy feet crawling step by step up towards her room. “Jamie-Anne! Get your butt out of bed, now!” The thick Tennessee accent drifted out in the tense air of the house. His boots were nearly hammering the wooden stairs, his anger flowing in the energy around him.

Jamie froze and her eyes darted around, half wanting to find a place to hide. She headed for her closet, right at the second that her door flew open. Her father stood in the frame, his jaw clenched up tightly, his face as hard as stone. Jamie stopped moving and looked at him, “Get out.” She snapped.

Her father pointed a finger at her menacingly, “Don’t you dare talk to me like that, little girl.” His voice was low, snapping at her like a harsh whip. Jamie stared at him and felt her train of thought drifting from place to place. “Dad! GET OUT!” she screamed at him this time, her head pounding even harder against her skull. She felt as though her brain would begin seeping from her ears if she kept up the volume.

Her father reached forward and snatched her wrist, dragging her from the bedroom. Jamie tiredly fought against him, but she was no match for the strong man. “Daddy! I didn’t even pack!” she screamed, trashing against him. Her father jerked her for the stairs without saying a word.

Jamie stumbled after him, dragging her feet down the steps. “Daddy!” she pleaded, tears now rolling down her cheeks. She watched as he adjusted his baseball cap with his free hand and turn for the front door. Jamie gave in and followed behind him quietly, her emotions bubbling under her skin like a ravenous fire.

She watched as he opened the passenger door and tossed her up in the old red Chevy. Jamie struggled a bit, but she was getting used to the fact that she was no match for him. The passenger door slammed shut sharply and everything else seemed still. Her father climbed in on the driver side and turned the key in the ignition. The truck made a funny noise before the engine roared up.

Jamie stared out the window and watched as her house grew farther and farther away. She saw the rush of cars and stoplights, tall buildings, and cluttered sidewalks. Eventually, everything faded away. All that was left was thick wooded area, the timber so dense that one could not see through the mass of branches and leaves.

Jamie didn’t dare to speak. She felt lost for words. ‘Why would he do this to me? In the middle of the damn school year too… what is he thinking? Really? That I’m just going to live on his crappy old farm and pretend everything’s good and dandy? Maybe wear some suspenders and talk in some hick lingo? Frustrating…’ she thought, locking her gaze on the double yellow line.

Jamie watched the hours fly by on the little digital clock in the truck. She noticed that as the sun began to drop from the sky, the dense woods began to span out, eventually it was all gone. There were fields surrounding her, lush and green. The dusk was drifting across the sky, casting a dark purple shade behind the crystal clear moon.

Jamie shifted in her seat and glanced at her dad. “Anything happened on the farm lately?” Her father threw her a glance and was silent for a few long moments. “About to bring the herd in, last I saw we had some…new additions.” Jamie watched his facial expression and huffed, looking back out the window. “Gross” she muttered under her breath, a fiery rage building within her chest.

Her father glanced at her and his eyes softened, but he looked back at the road silently. Jamie watched him from the corner of her eyes. ‘How come everything is so much different around him? God, he’s doing this just to make me feel bad, I know it. Stupid fathers. It’s not gonna work.’ She huffed and turned until her shoulders were facing him and she was facing the window.

The evening sky changed from a deep purple to black. The moon stood out against the background drastically, casting an eerie glow across the lush grass. Jamie began to drift off to sleep, trying to find relief for her still achy head. Her temple was pounding tiredly.


The truck bounced roughly and Jamie’s eyes flew open. She stared out the front windshield, the headlights beaming brightly in front of them. The lights were casting shadows across long barbed wire fences which led to a huge bright red barn. Jamie looked over at the old farm house. It was just a shadowy box in front of the blackness.

Jamie couldn’t see the dull details in this lighting but she could remember the ¬vivid childhood memories that took place in that very house. She waited until the truck came to a complete stop to unlock the door and hop from the truck. She dragged her converse heels against the dusty ground and headed for the house instantly, arms crossed over her chest stubbornly.

Her father shut the engine off and headed after her silently, stuffing his hands deep into his pockets. He walked up the old porch steps after her slowly, his eyes locked on the old white paint. Jamie walked inside and let the screen door slammed behind her.

A deep growl sounded from the darkened house and Jamie snapped her face around, a young German Shepard was backed in the corner, tail between her legs. Her ears were laid back and her deep brown eyes were glaring at Jamie.

Her father walked in behind her and looked over at the dog, “Dixie, come here you good girl.” His voice was soft and soothing, coaxing her out of the corner. The dog hesitated and ran over to his feet, wagging her tail cautiously. Jamie gazed down at the dog and started up the stairs quietly.

She could feel his eyes boring into her back, “You can sleep in your old room.” He called after her. She huffed and kept walking. At the top of the old staircase Jamie walked slowly down the narrow pastel yellow hallway, dragging her feet across the bright white carpet.

She stopped at the end of the hallway, her eyelids nearly falling over her eyes. She was so exhausted she felt sick. She shoved open the old white wooden stained door and walked inside, her hand scraping over the wall for the light switch. The top of her fingers ran across the cold plastic and she skipped up the knob, flipping the switch up quickly.

The lights flicked on, the beamed blistering against the dark hallway. Jamie blinked a few times and let her emerald green eyes adjust to the lighting difference. Her gaze drifted over the room with disgust. The walls were pale pink, covered in posters of horses. Her twin sized bed was in the corner of the room, loaded with old horse magazines and books. Everything was just as it had been before she went to the hospital.

She huffed and walked in the room quietly, shutting the door behind her. She hesitantly walked to the bed and shoved the mass of paper and books onto the floor before she crawled on top of the furry pink cover. She slipped under it and cuddled into the middle, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. She was trying not to think about it, trying not to see it, even trying not to smell the memories.

Eventually, her mind eased and she drifted off to sleep, her pounding head ceased and her sickness went away. She slept deeply, not even hearing the far off howls of wild dogs, nor the screeches from distant mountain lions. All she could hear was her own breathing, soothing herself as she slept.

The morning sun streamed through the large window beside the bed, casting in from behind old white laced curtains. Jamie groaned and rolled over in the bed, rolling off of it. She hit the floor and her eyelids shot open. She looked around in a panic and slowly lifted herself to her feet.

She walked across the room and shoved the door open, running a hand through her mussed up hair, trying to smooth out the top. ‘Greattt, now I can sit home for the rest of the school year and be a junior again. Wonderful.’ She thought, heading for the stairs. She couldn’t help but feel a little comfort within the old boards of the house, along with the warm memories that seemed like so long ago.

She walked down the stairs quickly and looked around, “Dad?! Dadddd?” she called. No one answered her, the silence crept against her at every angle. She walked for the screen door quickly, her bare feet slapping against the old floor boards. She pushed the door open and jogged onto the front porch, grabbing the railing in wonderment.

Her eyes were locked on a long flat area a few hundred yards from the barn, the tall metal gates slung wide open. There were three or four men on horseback, driving what looked to be about 50 to 60 young horses of all shapes and sizes to that pen. Jamie raised her eyebrows and gazed out at the horses. All she could see were different sizes, and a few different colors from that distance.

As the herd rapidly advanced she narrowed her gaze for more details, her fingers rubbing against the old wooden railing. She could see dust and dirt flying as the herd approached, she took note of how close the equines were running next to each other. She watched as the different shapes, sizes, and colors began to appear. She stared at every single horse, but one in particular caught her eye.

A large pitch black horse was in the front of the herd, its ears pinned back menacingly. The horse had a long knotted forelock that fell over its eyes, his mane was knotted and un tamed, his tail a wild blur of tangle and twigs. She watched the horse’s movements, nearly mesmerized at how carefully his hooves touched the ground, how lightly they dug into the earth.

She stared at the bouncing mass of muscle in the horse’s shoulder and flank, and noticed the bright white stocking on his left front foot. The white of the marking was covered in dirt and dust from the run. She watched as the large horse tore into the barbed wire pasture, throwing the front of his body up in the air, his neck twisting with a wild fury.

The horse tossed his front legs in the bright morning air and lowered himself with a thud. His mane was drifting off with the slight summer breeze and his forelock moved from his eyes, flipping back next to his ears. The horse had two bright blue eyes and a small white spot in the middle of his face, just below his eyes. The star had a small line just below it as if it had been wet paint and someone had ran their finger down his face and let the paint smudge until there was nothing more to smudge.

The rest of the horses flooded in the ring after him and he power jogged on the fence line, tilting an ear up. Confusion was written all over his face. He didn’t know what was happening, or what was going to happen. Jamie saw this written all over his body language. She hopped down the porch steps and sprinted across the driveway and over the indent of lawn to the fence line. She looked around the horses and the men finished pushing the foals inside and closed the gate.

“Daddy?” She screeched above the roar of hooves and a whinny, her voice was drowning behind their noise. Her father rode around the ring to over to her, atop a little chestnut gelding with no markings on his legs, simply a straight white blaze down his face. Jamie recognized the horse instantly; he had been her father’s favorite for years.

Jamie pointed to the ring, “What are you doing with them?” She asked, curiosity rising up in her voice. Her father glanced at the ring and looked back at her in confusion, “Stripping out all of the two year old studs, old mares, and yearling foals to selling them?”

Jamie looked around and pointed to the big black horse, “What about him?” Her father’s gaze followed her finger and her snorted, “Five year old gelding. Was trained a bit, but no one could actually ride him…they were too scared. He would have been a pretty good ranch horse if ask me…” He trailed off, looking back at Jamie. “Why?” Jamie shrugged and looked back at the horse, which was no pushing through the others trying to find an escape route.

“Are you selling him?” She half dreaded the answer, a new excitement building in her chest. ‘Jamie! What are you doing?! What has gotten into you lately? Horses are dirty, nasty, mean things, remember?! But… this is different… maybe just one more time?’ she thought, studying her father’s face. Her father shrugged, “Yeah…why?”

Jamie nibbled her bottom lip, fighting against her common sense. “Can I have him?” She asked quickly, her eyes twinkling with desire. Her father glanced back at the horse and looked over to her once more. “How about I cut you a deal…If you can get him good and trained, then I’ll let you go back home. But if you can’t, then you have to stay with me until you graduate. And help on the farm, AND go to college.”

Jamie weighed out the options in her head and nodded sharply, “I can do that… yeah, that will work…” She trailed off, deep in thought. Her father smiled and looked around, “Justin, rope out Nightmare.” A boy looked over at her father and nodded sharply. He had muscular arms and strong looking shoulder blades. His face was shadowed by an old black cowboy hat.

Jamie watched as the boy took out a rope and twirled it above his head, making the loop bigger and bigger. The horse under him was dark dun, all four legs had small white socks. The horse was large and muscular, shifting his legs as the boy shifted his weight in the saddle. Justin tossed the rope out in the air and it hissed loudly throughout the air and wrapped around the gelding’s neck.

The gelding threw himself up in a rage, his forelock and mane flying wildly in every known direction. He thrashed himself in the air, twisting and turning his neck as he did so. Justin grabbed the end of the rope and quickly tied it around the horn of his saddle, the massive dun horse began to back up, his head down and ears pinned.

The gelding threw his entire body against the pull of the rope, he hit a few mares that were near him, and the horses jumped away from him in panic, crushing themselves against the other end of the ring. The gelding couldn’t do much, as he thrashed in the air his back legs gravitated towards the gate, boy, and horse. The dun was larger than him, and just as muscular.

Jamie watched as the large black gelding kept thrashing, never giving up. Once at the gate a ranch hand swing open the metal door, and Justin pulled the large black horse out. Justin, the horse, and two other men disappeared behind the large red barn.

Jamie looked up at her father and huffed, “Mom won’t let me stay if I can’t break him.” Her dad glanced down at her and turned his horse to the barn, “She agreed this far.” He snapped in a rough tone, gently clucking to his horse. Yankee pinned an ear back and quickly started to walk to the barn, his back hooves kicking up dust as he went.

Jamie watched as the small chestnut gelding bowed his neck comfortably and broke off into a quick smooth lope. She watched as her father’s heels never left the horse’s sides, and how his body conformed perfectly to the gelding’s. She walked into the house quietly, thinking about what had just happened.

‘Okay, did I really just agree to that? Why? I’m going to be stuck here forever! I don’t remember a thing about horse training! Hell, the last time I was ever in the round pen teaching ground manners was when I was twelve! What have I gotten myself into? Urghhh…’ she thought, groaning as she did so.

She walked into the house and let the screen door slam behind her. She jogged up the old squeaky stairs and hurried into her room, opening the closet. It was full of long sleeve and short sleeve plaid shirts, long sleeve teal and black stretchy shirts, and old riding jeans. She stared at the worn out clothes and put a hand over her forehead, “You have GOT to be kidding me.”

She dug through the garments and pulled out a pastel purple sun dress with intricate black designs on the bottom. She changed into it silently and jerked on her pair of old worn cowboy boots that had been sitting in front of her bed. The worn down leather actually felt quite roomy and comfortable.

Jamie ignored the thought and brushed some old dirt off the side of the boot, making a disgusted face. “Ew, when was the last time I washed these?” She muttered to herself. She looked over in the mirror and pulled her short dark brown hair out of her tight bun and let it fall around her face.

Her bangs were over her forehead, and her once dead straight hair was now full of loose waves. She rubbed her palm over her cheeks, smudging the leftover makeup off from the night before. She was hardly wearing any now, since she hadn’t put any on the day before. She looked around and started to jerk open drawers, freezing in place.

She hurried out of the room and down the stairs. She exploded out of the house and shot across the driveway like a bullet, bolting into the old barn. Her father was in the middle of scraping the sweat off Yankee’s stomach, his red lead rope was dangling carelessly in front of the bright chestnut, half resting on the floor. The small gelding was standing there, relaxed, nearly falling asleep.

“Dad! Dad! It’s an emergency!” She screeched, halting to a stop behind him. Jamie’s dad straightened up and spun around, “What is it?!” He stared at her wide eyed. Jamie panted and tried to catch her breath, “My-My-“ Her father raised his eyebrows, “Spit it out! Are you okay?! What happened?” Jamie rubbed her forehead again, “My-My- makeup is g-g-gone.” She stammered.

Her father let out a sigh of relieve and stared at her with disappointment. “Drunk girls don’t deserve makeup.” He snapped harshly. Jamie huffed and made a pouty face, “Clearly.” She whispered, her heart dropping into her stomach. ‘How can he do this to me? What have I ever done to him? Really?’ she thought angrily.

She started to walk past him, eyes locked on the shut arena gate. There was a metal rustic fence, the metal bars were nearly 7 foot high, and it led into a large round pen, also rusty from age. She stopped in front of it and let her fingertips scratch across the flaky dark brown surface of the gate.

The black gelding was pacing back and forth along the fence line, ears pinned back. He was screeching loudly to the other horses, not being able to see them. His entire body was covered in a nervous clammy sweat. Jamie stared at his body language, how he was so herd shy. He was putting out all the signs of deprival.

Jamie grabbed a long lunge whip and slipped in between two bars of the gate, She started for the middle and clucked softly, the sensation of training rushing back into her head, as if she had only stopped yesterday. The gelding stepped away from the gate and looked over at her with his large blue eyes. He spun in a half circle and began to run counter clockwise, his ears pinned.

Jamie stopped in the middle of the pen and held the whip in her right hand calmly. The string was laying uselessly on the ground. She simply watched him. The gelding was terrified. He was roughly jogging around the ring, his ears pinned, watching her from the corner of his eye. Jamie stood at an angle behind his shoulder and cracked the whip loudly with one swift movement of her wrist.

The gelding took off full speed in a blind panic, his hooves thundering against the pact light brown dirt. Jamie let him run and run, pushing him even when he felt as though he was too tired to go on. After about half an hour one way she started to walk to the right side of the ring. “Woah.” She ordered loudly.

The gelding slid to a stop and spun on his back legs, taking off in the next direction. Jamie walked back to the ring and stood behind his shoulder, driving him into a quick lope again. She waited until he was nearly dripping with sweat and his nose was almost touching the ground to drop the whip.

She watched his movements, he didn’t stop. He was no longer watching her, but the ground. She stepped in the direction opposite of what he was running so she was a little closer to him. His eyes flicked to hers and he started to slow his pace to turn around. Jamie met his gaze and started to back up quickly.

The gelding slid to a stop and stared at her, he started to walk after her curiously, both ears perked up. His eyes were beaming with new amusement. Jamie stopped moving and dropped her gaze to the ground. The gelding lowered his muscular neck and sniffed the ground, still advancing towards her. He stopped nearly 10 feet in front of her and arching his face out towards her.

Jamie stood dead still and held her breath. The gelding lowered his head again and started to lick his lips, cocking his hind leg in contentment. Jamie flicked her emerald green eyes up to him and smiled. Her father had gone inside long ago, and it was just him and her. “Good boy” she cooed softly, gently turning her palm towards him.

The gelding shifted his weight and cautiously took a few more steps towards her, sniffing each of her fingers. He rubbed his nose down her palm and stopped when her hand was rested under his sweaty forelock. He began to lick his lips again.

Jamie scratched his face and smiled again, a warmth growing deep into her heart. “You’re not so bad as you look, huh bud? You were just scared, weren’t you?” She slowly ran her hand up and down his nose, running her palm over his sweaty cheek. She went to go wipe the sweat off above his eye and his head jerked up swiftly, ears pinned. “Easy boy, you’re okay…you’re okay.” She whispered calmly.

The gelding backed away from her and started to sniff for a place to roll, much calmer then he was before. “We need a better name then nightmare, huh bud? How about Stormy? No, that’s too common… Dancer? Lame…” She paused, rubbing her chin. “How about Twister?” The gelding glanced at her before he plopped down on the other side of the ring for a good roll. She smiled, “Twister it is” she whispered softly to herself.

The next few weeks started to fly by, each day felt shorter than the last. After the second day of working with Twister, she noticed that he spooked a lot at the male ranch hands, even her father. He showed aggression towards them, and seemed a lot more nervous in the pen when they were around. She began to groom him and desensitize him to objects in the early morning when no one was awake yet, or right after everyone had gone to bed, around twilight.

She was in love with how the gelding moved, and she was really getting attached to him. Twister seemed to take a liking to her as well, the troubled teen could relate to the horse’s anxiety around strange men, and about being separated from friends. They were slowly building a wall of unbreakable trust, something so strong that words would ruin its true meaning.

After the first few weeks Twister started to let her slip a rope halter on his face and lead him around, he learned quickly that once the human stopped, you would need to stop with them, or when they moved, it was time to move as well. He respected her well, and learned faster then any other horse she had ever trained. He learned that “Cluck” meant to walk, “Click” meant to jog, and “Kiss” meant to lope, and he was gaining more obedience and respect every day.

Jamie walked outside that night, the dusk had just fallen. The night sky was clear and dark blue, the stars and moon shimmering above her like guardian angels. She walked into the barn wearing a purple long sleeve plaid shirt, riding jeans, cowboy boots, and an old worn cowgirl hat. She had actually grown accustomed to her old clothes, and she felt right.

She half skipped down the aisle way and flicked the lights on above the round pen. The pitch black gelding was standing at the gate, watching her intently, blue eyes shimmering under the dull light. He was wearing a bright pink rope halter and his long forelock and tail still looked smooth and shimmery from when she had brushed him that afternoon. His mane had been buzzed off, since Jamie couldn’t get the tangles out of the long thick mane that he had had.

Jamie flashed the massive gelding a bright smile, “Well hello handsome, can you give mommy a big ‘ol smile?” The horse perked his ears up and lifted his upper lip, revealing his teeth. Jamie laughed and reached through the bars, scratching his shoulder. No matter what she tried teaching him he would absorb information like a sponge, he was nearly as smart as she was.

Jamie clicked softly and grabbed the rope lead, waiting for him to back up. Twister bowed his head and took a few steps back quickly, swishing his long silky black tail. Jamie snatched the soft pink polo wraps and slid through the gate, dropping the rope on the ground and shutting the door behind her.

She squatted down and started to wrap the first polo wrap around his left front leg. Twister perked his ears up and arched his neck down, sniffing the back of her neck as she worked. She expertly wrapped his foot and put the rest of them on quickly before picking the lead up. Twister stood calmly and waited for his cue. He nudged Jamie’s arm gently, wanting her to hurry.

Jamie giggled and clipped the lead just under the halter and looped it around the back of his neck, tying the free end to the halter as well. Twister watched her, slightly confused. Jamie grabbed the rope halter gently and clicked, Twister walked next to her, shortening his stride to match hers.

Jamie led him over to one of the metal fence and released the halter, moving to his side. She pushed on his flank and clucked softly until he moved his rear right next to the fence. She walked to the other side of him and slowly stepped up onto the first bar of the gate. A metal chain that was linking the fence to the next clanked loudly and Twister flinched nervously from the sound.

Jamie put her hand on his withers and grabbed the lead they had been made into reins, gently pinning them to his slightly sloped withers. “Easy boy, easy…” she whispered softly. She stepped up on another bar and slowly and gently swung her leg over his side. Twister tilted and ear backwards and arched his neck around to watch her, completely confused. Jamie pushed off of the gate gently and slipped the rest of the way on him, keeping her heels far away from his sides.

Twister tried to shift his weight and stumbled, new to the weight on his back. “Woah, easy boy, you’re okay…” Jamie whispered softly. Twister stood still for long moments, the seconds dragging on. Jamie smiled and leaned forward, stroking his silky black neck. “Good boy! What a good boy, you’re such a good boy Twister!” She praised excitedly.

Twister arched his neck and perked his ears up, soaking in the praise happily. She shifted on his back and took a handful of his mane nervously, clutching the reins with the other. She clucked softly, trying not to think of the horrible memories of her last ride. Twister tilted an ear back and took a step forward. He paused and began walking, realizing that nothing bad was going to happen to him.

Jamie felt the bond growing stronger between them. She walked him around in a few circles and clicked. He perked his ears back up and picked up the pace to a smooth moving jog. Jamie moved along with his body, still without touching her heels to his sides. She let some slack slip between her fingers and his head and she kissed softly.

Twister outstretched with his inside leg and broke into a smooth quick jog. His transitions weren’t perfect, but Jamie didn’t seem to notice. She was lost in the feeling, the wind running through her dark brown wavy hair, blowing her bangs back. She could feel his heart beating in rhythm of hers, and she felt great. The missing piece of her was complete, fitting together like a puzzle. She no longer felt lost, but like she was back where she belonged…back home.

Three months later

Jamie walked outside eagerly. She half jogged into the barn and over to the round pen fence. Her father had built a little ‘shed’ for Twister so he could escape the mid-day heat. Sure enough, Twister was sprawled out under it, fast asleep. Jamie laughed, “Twister! Here Twisty!” she called out, opening the fence gate up.

Twister lifted his head lazily and looked over at her. He rolled to his feet and perked his ears up, jogging over to her enthusiastically. His mane had started to grow out, it was sticking nearly straight up, the top leaning toward the left side of his neck. His tail was loosely braided and his coat was shimmering. He slid to a stop in front of her and started to sniff at her pockets.

Jamie laughed and pulled out a handful of broken carrot chunks. She started to feed them to him, one by one, letting the carrot lay flat on her palm until his large black lips vacuumed them into his mouth. “Jamie?” Her father called from inside the barn.

Jamie glanced over her shoulder. Her hair was starting to grow out, her dirty blond routes showing dramatically. “Over here dad” she called back, her tone was lighter and she seemed more relaxed then when she had first gotten back to the farm.

Her father walked to the gate and stared at her as she teased the large gelding with another treat, “You have to smile first” she said teasingly. Twister lifted his upper lip and threw his head back mockingly. Jamie laughed and handed a carrot to him, he sucked it up happily and started to chew.

“Are you ready to go?” The words fell from his mouth awkwardly between them. Jamie glanced at him, “No! You’re making me leave!? Why?!” Her father raised an eyebrow, “It was our deal…?” He reminded in an oblivious tone.

Jamie stared at him blankly for a few seconds, not remembering. Her dad sighed, “If you trained the horse, I’d take you home. If you didn’t, you had to stay here. So, when will you be ready to leave?” Jamie’s blistering green eyes brightened up with joy, and she flashed him a bright smile. “Dad, I am home.” She half whispered, her beautiful face turning from him and back to the huge black gelding.



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